I think I'm going to explode.

And it's going to be something like this.


I'm generally a reserved person. I am not easily excited or worked up. Some might even say I am emotionally retarded. I'm never really happy or mad, sad or anything else. I pretty much have two modes, irritated or OK. The last time I got angry was 2004, and I ended up actually jumping up and down on another persons head. Luckily I still had the presence of mind to stop myself before I killed him.

But I have had just about enough of everything.

I'm tired of seeing decent productive people die for no good reason. I have been to 17 funerals in the past 3 years. I'm tired of people in general, our government, traffic, I am no longer allowed to do the most awesome job ever. My brother wrecked my car, which was the most awesome thing ever(but it'll be fixed Tuesday, so I don't think that counts). And the only person I have ever given a damn about no longer speaks to me.
So yeah, I'm getting to the end of my fuze.

I'm not looking for a pity party or anything. I'm just venting I think, that's what people do right?
Anyway, I'm not concerned about other people. But going to prison would definitely screw up my Chi. It's been so long since I let loose, I don't think it's going to end well for anyone involved when it happens.

reply to post by watchitburn



It's okay...get it off your chest...let it all out....maybe one of these will help!

Who Needs A BIG HUG? (YOU)!!!!!

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Need A Lift, Maybe This Will Help?!!

www.abovetopsecret.com...


Take care.

Ascension211

Originally posted by watchitburn
Anyway, I'm not concerned about other people.

Hmmm. Perhaps starting there would be helpful.

I hope you don't think I'm making light of what you're telling us. 17 funerals in 3 years would mess anyone up...I mean anyone. Don't feel like you're doing something wrong because you're having a hard time dealing with that. I've lost three very close friends to cancer in the last year, and my head is generally up my arse because of it, so I can't imagine how you feel. Never want to.

I'm a pain in the neck for being practical, so I apologise now....but if you're so wound up, to me it sounds like you need a spell out of the city. I don't know where you are, or what your personal circumstances are, but some serious down time somewhere else might do you a lot of good. Even just some profound peace and quiet without the traffic noise may make a difference. Go somewhere you've never been before. It would work for me.

Even if this doesn't help or isn't practical, keep ranting..it's good for you and there will always be someone here who will listen and talk if you want to.

Cait x

I swear I'm going to rant. How conveniently I am doing a report about Russia these past three weeks, and everything I write about, seems to be popping up from my report.

Just stop it already.

Relax, take a chill pill.

At least you don't live in a #ty third world country where you have to work all day just to make a few cents so you can buy yourself a meal and do it all over again the next day.

You should try lifting weights. Natural stress relief + endorphins.

if I were that pissed i'd be out finding a drug dealer to punch in the face.

someone who deserves it. don't get angry at anyone who remotely cares about you.

reply to post by yourmaker


I'm pretty good at just walking away from people who are being stupid, and not blowing up over things that can't be helped.

What I have been doing is venting at things like phones or computers. I get out some irritation without causing problems.

What i think is going to happen is, I'm going to flip my lid over something really insignificant and ridiculous.

reply to post by ConspiracyBuff


I lift weights, go running, or some other exercise every day.

reply to post by Manhater


I have no idea what you're talking about.

Originally posted by ascension211
reply to post by watchitburn

 

Yeah but did you try either of my threads to cheer you up?

It's okay...get it off your chest...let it all out....maybe one of these will help!

Who Needs A BIG HUG? (YOU)!!!!!

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Need A Lift, Maybe This Will Help?!!

www.abovetopsecret.com...


Take care.

Ascension211

Hugs from men set off my claustrophobia.

reply to post by watchitburn


Step 1: Find biggest pillow in the house.

Step 2: Beat the snot out of it until you wear yourself out.

Step 3: Sleep like a baby.

sorry you're so frustrated bud

It happens to the best of us

....tomorrow is another day... hopefully a better one for you

Originally posted by watchitburn
I ended up actually jumping up and down on another persons head.

There are...better ways.

Luckily I still had the presence of mind to stop myself before I killed him.

How chivalrous of you.

I'm tired of seeing decent productive people die for no good reason.

Like unnecessary head-stompings?

I'm not concerned about other people.

That's a major problem right there.

But going to prison would definitely screw up my Chi.

Uh huh. Yeah, because you sound like such a mellow guy.



You know, I can't find anything to condone or sympathize with in your rant at all. You sound like you have some growing up to do. You know those 2 default modes you operate on? I think it's time to add in some other moods...You know, the positive side of the coin.

Just relax, brother. Clarity comes when the dust settles. Rushing to explode only makes things worse. You gotta master the art of channeling rage into creativity. Find a cathartic hobby or activity.

If all else fails. I highly recommend getting a pair of skates and a hockey stick. I'll see you out on the rinks.

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


Possibly, but I think it was the appropriate response for that situation.

I thought so. There was no one around, and we were in the middle of the desert. I could have easily disposed of the body if it came to that.

The person in question was neither decent nor productive.

I have yet to find a valid reason to be concerned about other people. I've had no issues arise from it so far.

I don't know if you have ever been to prison or not, but it's not much fun, and very very boring.
And I am a generally mellow person, proven by the fact I haven't stomped on a head in 8 years.

I am the calmest person I know, I do not rush into a rages. There have been many times when I could have stabbed someone in the throat, but instead I calmly said OK, and just walked away.

reply to post by watchitburn

I'm tired of seeing decent productive people die for no good reason. I have been to 17 funerals in the past 3 years. I'm tired of people in general, our government, traffic, I am no longer allowed to do the most awesome job ever. My brother wrecked my car, which was the most awesome thing ever(but it'll be fixed Tuesday, so I don't think that counts). And the only person I have ever given a damn about no longer speaks to me.

Sounds like you have everything in focus that is contributing to your despair.
However...life itself is a difficult, unremediable conundrum.

We try to enjoy our time here, but the problems pile up, and the clock keeps ticking...
There is no "winning" the game of life. It is a 24/7 struggle to survive and be happy (or at least content.)

Seems that only through constant distraction and willful ignorance do most people get on from one day to the next. Perhaps the most difficult aspect of getting through life is keeping our chin up when everything around us seems to be falling apart.

The more you focus on what troubles you, the worse life will seem.
The only advice I can offer is to decide how you TRULY feel about life, and then regardless of what happens, know that you are ultimately the master of your thoughts and emotions.

The trick is to decide how we feel before our feelings decide for us...
Yes, just another part of the daily struggle, but we either sink or swim here.

While I'm all for indulging in a trenta sized coffee from starbucks and finally getting to experience some spontaneous human combustion on my bad days, I realize that venting is the better and healthier route to go.

I read through your post, though. Seventeen funerals isn't easy to swallow, for anyone. Sometimes it's alright to have a break down every once and a while, but I don't think I would jump up and down on someone's head. Control your anger before it controls you. I don't mean that you should do so with controlled aggression, but rather compassion and reconciliation.
Hope you can find a peace of mind. Here's a smile:

reply to post by watchitburn


Hey, I'm not passing judgement on you or anything. I'm just sayin'...you know...instead of "could have disposed of body" and "could have stabbed in the throat"...

Why not try a different approach? First of all, stop surrounding yourself with the lowest of the low--get away from the scum of the human species. Alright, and then when it comes down to it..why not just be the first to forgive, forget, walk away, and do something productive for yourself or for someone else? I think you will find it extremely liberating. It takes more courage to walk away and to forgive than to fight back.

I think it's time to bring your walls down. I know trusting people isn't easy. And I myself keep people at arm's length from me. But the thing is...it's a choice.

If you start giving a little back, you will attract those that will give in return too. Don't look at things so black and white. I refuse to believe you're that plain and simple. I'm not saying you have to be a bleeding heart for every simpleton you come across--but it is good to be able to draw great strengths from unconditional compassion. It is a strength many of us aren't aware of--and believe me, it pays back.

Calmness isn't always enough. Calmness is just a base, a foundation on which to build. So, what do you want to build? Let's build something better than the BS we live in day in and day out.

You'll probably not care what I have to say--but, I hope you find something in yourself that makes you feel like forgiving the jerks in society, and an openness to helping those in true need. Also, that means having a willingness to let others help you as well. It's a gift, enjoy it for what it's worth--good or bad.

Instead of exploding, sometimes we just have to laugh at the ridiculous situations life puts us through.