My children are driving me Crazy!!!

Someone beat me too it.

You actually learn more from your siblings than you do your parents. You learn how to fight (obviously) compromise, play, learn. When you get older, how and who to date. (YEs the older ones do get saddled with the role model responsibility)
Your sibling is the only person on earth who knows what it is like to be you growing up. You share birthdays, holidays, in some cases, schools.

So while it maybe very trying ,sometimes, just remember that it is a very important relationship. And the older one is old enough now to learn to be a role model.

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric
Hopefully I put this in the right forum....it's certainly not a conspiracy of any sorts but, I just need to vent out some frustrations in hopes someone else here can relate to what I am experiencing lately.

To start, I have two boys aged 4 and 10 that I love dearly...more than life itself. Any parents here know exactly what I mean. We reach a point where we are living for them...am I right?

I love them so much that it hurts sometimes....wondering if I'm doing or saying the right things....teaching them the right things.....hoping that I'm not screwing up their future lives by what I say or do now to to help them navigate this present existence and their future.

Having said that about my two little darlings, they seem hell bent on making my present life a living hell!

All they do is fight and argue with one another...constantly!!!!!!

My home feels like a boxing ring and I'm the referee.

I spend most of my time breaking up fights and arguments more than anything else. Trying to make things equal and fair as best as I can but, I'm TIRED!!!

I know I'm in it for the long haul (obviously) and, I know I can't just lock them up in a closet or a basement somewhere until they turn 18.

But, any advice on how to keep my sanity would be much appreciated.

Oh, and locking myself in the bathroom doesn't work....they always find me and just pound on the door until I come back out.

edit on 15-11-2012 by MagesticEsoteric because: (no reason given)

edit on 15-11-2012 by MagesticEsoteric because: (no reason given)

edit on 15-11-2012 by MagesticEsoteric because: (no reason given)

I have 3 brothers, and my mother used to put them in the backyard and let them fight it out. It was much easier on the furniture and everyone's tempers. Five minutes later it would be all over and they'd laugh about it later.

You probably couldn't get away with that nowadays, but it worked.

Originally posted by resoe26
Wait... You have a husband right?
-Maybe you should start acting more like an ethnic mother.... You know, grab the broom and start bashing heads in with it. My mother always did that.

And I tell you what, my siblings and I LISTEN RIGHT EFFIN NOW to anything my father or mother say even to this day. Because my parents never played those games.
They tell you once to stop doing something or to go do something....
BETTER DO IT or thats your A$$.

It's something I have carried over to my children.
My son is only 2 years old. I get more compliments on his manners than anything and how cute he is. But the boy listens because if he doesn't, either I make him get in the front lean and rest (Pushup position) or he stands in the corner. (Decided to not be violent like my parents :lol

Tell them only ONE time. If they don't listen, repercussions madam.

I'm glad you chose not to take the violent approach with your own...I lived in a very abusive home until I was 15. After my mom passed away, I saw no reason to live in my abusive step-fathers home any longer so, I left to live in foster care until 18.

I simply refuse to raise my children that way so, like you, found other ways to discipline them that are just as effective in my opinion.

You know, the funny thing is...when they are in school and at friends/families homes, they are perfect little angels! I also get compliments on their manners and behavior so, it's something they are really only doing at home.

When I started this thread, I said that hoped I put it in the right forum b/c it wasn't really a conspiracy. Perhaps I was wrong...maybe it IS a conspiracy! They are both conspiring to drive me crazy.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
You actually learn more from your siblings than you do your parents. You learn how to fight (obviously) compromise, play, learn. When you get older, how and who to date. (YEs the older ones do get saddled with the role model responsibility)
Your sibling is the only person on earth who knows what it is like to be you growing up. You share birthdays, holidays, in some cases, schools.

So while it maybe very trying ,sometimes, just remember that it is a very important relationship. And the older one is old enough now to learn to be a role model.

That's a really good point! My sister and I are extremely close because we are the only ones that truly knows how hard it was growing up. She is the only person in this world that knows exactly what I've been through and can relate to me so much better than anyone else. I have confided things to my husband and best friend but, it's different with my sister because she was there experiencing it with me.

I really need to work harder on getting through to the oldest how important of a role he is playing. Of course I've told him things like "don't do that b/c if your brother sees you, he will do it too" but, I think I should take the lessons a bit further.

Thanks!

reply to post by HappyBunny


Yeah, I can see where it wouldn't be very acceptable these days.

It probably wouldn't really work out anyway in my case....My oldest is twice the size and weight of my youngest so, it really wouldn't be a fair fight.

Unless I tied the the oldest one's hands behind him and tied a blindfold over his eyes....then it might be fair.

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric

Originally posted by DocHolidaze
reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

 

darling is that you?

lol

Boy did I need that laugh this morning....another rough morning getting them off to school.

The things they fight over amaze me. This morning started off with who brushes their teeth the best???????

Then, it was on to one taking up too much room in front of the fireplace. Then, which one our dogs love the most. And so on.......

All of this before I finished my first cup of coffee....not cool!

a laugh is always a good way to start the day.

we had a good day getting to school today, i almost had two major breakdowns over what cloths the big one was wearing(she wanted to wear her summer dress, and its gonna rain today, so that almost brought her to tears, and the little one thought she got soap in her eyes, even though it was only water.

i was able to neutralize the situation in under twenty seconds each incident. and in the end we got to school 2 min early, so this was a very good day. sometimes its a madhouse the hour before school. I think my little one is gonna be a blues singer, shes got alot of emotion brewing in her, and she gets it out sometimes by screaming and crying at the top of her lungs, and let me tell u, i have to put her in time out two rooms away, because if your in the room with her ur eardrums start to hurt, like a buzzing,sharp pain, its horrible. we call her the banshie, or banshie bean. im just glad i get a couple good days thrown in the mix of the usual barbaric/heathen antics.

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric

Originally posted by resoe26
Wait... You have a husband right?
-Maybe you should start acting more like an ethnic mother.... You know, grab the broom and start bashing heads in with it. My mother always did that.

And I tell you what, my siblings and I LISTEN RIGHT EFFIN NOW to anything my father or mother say even to this day. Because my parents never played those games.
They tell you once to stop doing something or to go do something....
BETTER DO IT or thats your A$$.

It's something I have carried over to my children.
My son is only 2 years old. I get more compliments on his manners than anything and how cute he is. But the boy listens because if he doesn't, either I make him get in the front lean and rest (Pushup position) or he stands in the corner. (Decided to not be violent like my parents :lol

Tell them only ONE time. If they don't listen, repercussions madam.

I'm glad you chose not to take the violent approach with your own...I lived in a very abusive home until I was 15. After my mom passed away, I saw no reason to live in my abusive step-fathers home any longer so, I left to live in foster care until 18.

I simply refuse to raise my children that way so, like you, found other ways to discipline them that are just as effective in my opinion.

You know, the funny thing is...when they are in school and at friends/families homes, they are perfect little angels! I also get compliments on their manners and behavior so, it's something they are really only doing at home.

When I started this thread, I said that hoped I put it in the right forum b/c it wasn't really a conspiracy. Perhaps I was wrong...maybe it IS a conspiracy! They are both conspiring to drive me crazy.

They very well may be conspiring against you!!

But see you are their Mum. I think every boy at some point challenges thier Mum. Ya know, because you are essentially the heart of the operation in the household. The Mum is the all loving one. They probably think, no matter what happens, you will always love them. Which is how it should be and I'm sure you portray that to them on a daily basis!! (Good for you for that! :up They are mistaking your loving kindness for a bit of weakness sometimes most likely. But essentially, they are just being lil billy BadA$$es right now. They will grow out of it... Hopefully.

reply to post by DocHolidaze


I think there was a study that little girls can scream louder then some animals on the Serengeti.

reply to post by DocHolidaze


I can relate all to well with the clothes thing. I have to lay out at least 3 different outfits for the youngest and sometimes that doesn't even work. My oldest is already wanting to have certain brands. I honestly never thought I would have these kinds of issues with boys, much less this early on in their lives.

Banshie Bean...I love it! Oh, and the time outs! They are just as miserable for me as they are for them. The sounds that come out of them do not even sound human.

Yep, it's the good days that make it all worth it....when it's good, it's really good but, when it's bad it's like torture.

reply to post by resoe26


I really hope they grow out of it too.

And you're right, I think they are most certainly mistaking my kindness as weakness...without a doubt.

But, they do know mommy loves them very much no matter what!

reply to post by nixie_nox


yeah, i can vouch for that, even though ive never been to the Serengeti, i see no reason that the animals there would evolve in such a way that there voice would destroy there parents ear drums, a baby animal wouldn't last long in the Serengeti if its fore bearers were deaf.