The origins of UFOs--some tongue-in-cheek hypotheses

1. The FTLNNH (faster-than-light-not-necessary hypothesis)
Humans were in space with advanced tech 20,000 years ago when a disaster befell the Earth that knocked the planetside population back to the Stone Age, and the descendents of our high-tech ancestors even today watch but don’t interfere.

2. The MMGH (man-made-Grey hypothesis)
Humans 20,000 years ago had so-called flying saucers and sentient robots we now call Greys in substantial numbers out doing asteroid mining when a natural disaster or war knocked the human race back to the Stone Age, and those robots in their “amazing UFOs” have had little to do but maintain themselves and their own infrastructure, all the while monitoring mankind’s comeback and perhaps awaiting instructions.

3. The PPHH (pilot-perpetrated hoax hypothesis)
No alien visitors, no flying saucers, cigars, triangles, boomerangs, or carpenter’s squares, just pilots, radar operators, and aviation buffs that want accelerated aerospace R&D badly enough to conspire in a campaign of hoaxing to promote it, where right-angle turns are faked by one pilot turning his lights off and the other turning them on as their paths cross.

4. The TH (Tesla hypothesis)
Sure, Nikola Telsa was trying to build his own flying saucer (inspired by, according to this scenario, only the myth of alien craft in our skies). But in this hypothesis he succeeded but that and other advanced Tesla technology was taken over by a group that booted him out and became a wealthy secret society, while Telsa himself died penniless unable to expose them (he had a hard-enough time taking 42 years just to get the Supreme Court to rule that Marconi had infringed on his radio patent, not to mention his long, bitter, heroic struggle to promote AC instead of DC power transmission just so we could have electricity in our homes.).

5. The PAFOBH (people-are-full-of-beans hypothesis)
Self-explanatory, but indispensible to many DOOHs (dismiss-out-of-handers) in their arguments against what they call “eager believers” or worse.

6. The DGH (data-gathering hypothesis)
The Greys are sentient robots tasked with documenting and recording Earth’s historical events, human knowledge and progress, sports, literature, music, other art, and scientific data to stream back home for interested parties to study, enjoy—whatever. In this scenario, they owe us quadrillions of dollars in royalties.

7. The AATH (anthropology & tourism hypothesis)
Same as the ETH, basically, but with no hostile intent implied and dismissing abduction stories and ET involvement in cattle mutilation.

8. The BBH (black-budget hypothesis)
Secret wingless aircraft under development could fly circles around today’s F-16s before the Wright Brothers even made their historic first flight.

I like some of these a lot. Did you compile this list in your own words from your research? I'm really curious about the FTLNN hypothesis, since it would be both reasonable and very exciting if it were true. I think the "ancient" humans could maybe be living on the moon, waiting for a time to approach us when we aren't so savage and dangerous.

The HHAW theory: (A.K.A - Suess was Right) -
They aren't really UFO's, they are sophisticated microscopes, probes and other common scientific equipment used by the race that is growing our planet in a petri dish.
See - Horton Hears a Who

The White Horse Theory -
You didn't really think that Death was gonna roll around in a hearse did you?

The MMT Theory - (Magical Mystery Tour) my best yet.

Let's assume that everything we know about the sun, the moon and our own planet as it pertains to cycles also applies to humankind's innate ability to manifest thoughts through will power, or what you might call magic.

Humans, as i understand it, generate a natural electromagnetic field that interacts with and is influenced by the earth's magnetic field as well as other celestial bodies/energies. Now, if our thoughts and desires are transmitted subconsciously along this energy network and was 'broadcast' into the larger electro-magnetic ether then it would allow a person to unconsciously create the illusion of an alien spaceship hovering over a city. Furthermore, the actual desire to see such a thing, the willingness to go out each and every night in search of said objects by a variety of methods could also influence the electro-magnetic frequencies around the person/area enough to allow for a short term illusion to spontaneously manifest and even be recorded by photographic/video equipment since all visual imagery is merely reflections of light.

Why doesn't this happen more often you might wonder? In many smaller ways it likely does, you think you see someone you know who isn't really there, witness ghosts/bigfoot/MiB's and so on. However, on a larger scale it would likely be attributed to a low 'mana' threshold existing in our current section of the universe as it makes its eternal journey through the stars.

2012 will be the reintroduction of the planet into a field of 'mana' with sufficient strength to reawaken these abilities.

As for proof, If God created us in his own image then we are reflections of the almighty and have been blessed with his power as is evident in all that we do and create.

reply to post by Socrato


From Timeless Earth, by Peter Kolosimo, p. 194

Einstein, for instance, believed in a plurality of inhabited worlds, and is said to have maintained that the navigators of "flying saucers" are human beings who left earth 20,000 years ago and return to see how their descendants are getting on.

So, supposedly having been suggested by Einstein, I thought FTLNNH a fitting name for that theory, implying that he preferred a scenario not in violation of his speed limit.

I just thought of No. 2 a while ago and posted it in another thread about computer intelligence but then sat down to see if I could dream up some more, and I must have gotten a little carried away.

Another one that sometimes comes up a source of UFOs is the POTOSOTSH (planet-on-the-other-side-of-the-Sun hypothesis), but astronomers and NASA folks assure us that if such a planet existed they would know about it, even though many asteroids coming from the direction of the Sun go unnoticed until they miss the Earth and coast by, not even making front-page news.

en.wikipedia.org...

Yeah I'll take TH as the one and only UFO vehicle source in the world.
Also stick to his discoveries in lieu of Maxwell's lies about solid ether
and Einstein's curved space instead of a force field as Tesla said moves
the universe and his ship that I now call TeslaUFOships.

9. The POTOSOTSH (planet-on-the-other-side-of-the-Sun hypothesis), covered above.

10. The USH (unknown species hypothesis). They originated on Earth, on land, but moved to undersea cities because with advanced replicator technology the raw materials can be extracted from seawater, producing any kind of food and drink, as well as any material goods. (For example, the estimated average gold content of seawater is 38 pounds per cubic mile, which is useless to us but convenient for highly advanced replicators powered by free energy. Runoff is also the source of all that salt in the oceans and inland lakes with no outlet.) They avoid contact with humans but enjoy human art, music, literature, movies, TV, sports, etc. And they monitor our nukes.

11. The VOHH (very old humans hypothesis). Similar to the USH, they are what we call the Greys but are actually very old humans, whose medical technology has given them extremely long life spans without doing as good a job of keeping them looking young. They live in the oceans but do some space travel with they feel like it. But many of them live as humans in our human society as long as they are still young enough to do so.

TABHDFSaACWi Hypothesis:

Teenage Alien borrowed his dad's Flying Saucer and Abducted Cows with it. Why not? I've heard "cow tipping" is popular in the midwest states. Ties in nicely with your "tourist hypothesis." Unfortunately it doesn't roll off the tongue... at all. In fact the noise you make when saying it is quite alarming and may cause nearby loved ones some distress and/or quick calls to law enforcement.

reply to post by PW229


Not so hard to pronounce if called the BADKIDS-H (Bovine Abduction by Delinquent Kids In Dad's Saucer) hypothesis.

12. The ABH (Asteroid Belt hypothesis)

In this scenario ETs are from a planet that broke up and became the Asteroid Belt in Earth's prehistory and may or may not have something to do with the origin of our species, may or may not have the ability to travel to the stars, may or may not represent Earth in the galactic community, and may or may not protect Earth from invasion by other off-world species.

13. BADKIDS-H (theory proposed by PW229 above)

14. MOOCH (Misinterpreted Observation Of Coincidence Hypothesis), where a bright light in the sky that seems to move at high speed and make a right-angled turn is explained as a meteor instantly followed by another on a perpendicular path in relation to the viewer's perspective, and radar confirmation of any sighting is written off as a coincidental glitch, leading to the conclusion that all UFO sightings not otherwise debunked are hoaxes, false memories, or misinterpretations of strange combinations of events.

I subscribe to the PAFOSH as the body of empirical data is vast and mostly outside the scope of UFOlogy.

reply to post by xpoq47

Nice facts down memeory lane, i could agree with a lot of what you have said. The Praying Mantis ET already do instruct. I have witnessed it.

TMTOATSH: Too Much Time on ATS Hypothesis.
Where our whole perception of reality is completely warped do to reading so many bizarre stories.

4. The TH (Tesla hypothesis) Sure, Nikola Telsa was trying to build his own flying saucer (inspired by, according to this scenario, only the myth of alien craft in our skies). But in this hypothesis he succeeded but that and other advanced Tesla technology was taken over by a group that booted him out and became a wealthy secret society, while Telsa himself died penniless unable to expose them (he had a hard-enough time taking 42 years just to get the Supreme Court to rule that Marconi had infringed on his radio patent, not to mention his long, bitter, heroic struggle to promote AC instead of DC power transmission just so we could have electricity in our homes.).

Tesla Take Two

1) Tesla had constructed the type of motors and generators needed for the AC power system
that he patented thus requiring GE buyout for one million dollars. Basically he screwed the
Illuminati system who had to build his way or not at all.

2)Tesla got funds for developing an air ship under non disclosure contracts as every year
he makes announcements but can't give details up to 1940. Tesla doesn't even mention
the flying machine he would talk about 20 years ago.

A host of spies surrounded Tesla and knew where his money was hid. With Nazi Germany
developing Tesla contracts when FBI got wind the money was gone and well as some
documents before finding a dead Tesla in 1943.

ED: Oh Yeah. Illuminati got screwed twice cause they must lie about aliens flying
around in Tesla ships from now on. Let the joke be on them not on us.