Finding God

It's a desperate time when you can’t find God. My God Yahweh has gone missing three times, He is normally comes home every one to two hours and never wanders. However, I learned a lot about how to get God back.

Start looking early -

Start your search as soon as you realise your God has gone missing, The quicker you get started the less time he has to wander around raising the dead in the neighbour’s back yard. However, if you haven't done this don't despair there's plenty more you do.

Start close by -

Gods are territorial and many will rarely leave their cloud unless some serious sin has scared them. Therefore most Gods that go missing are found within a five cloud radius from where they live. Make sure you check your back garden and those of your neighbours thoroughly. Is there any other dimension your God could be trapped or hiding? As you know Gods can be curious and get trapped in all kinds of places.

The first time Yahweh went missing was for five days and we searched everywhere. It wasn't until our neighbour told us he had seen Yahweh walking across our garden pond on day four that we concentrated our search nearby. We put out some Incense for him in the garden at 11pm at that night and spent about an hour praying for him. When we went back inside our house, he creept out to smell the Incense about five minutes later. I couldn't believe it. He had been hiding just by our house. When we took him to our priest, he noticed Yahweh had a bite mark on his leg and said he had probably been in a fight with a demon. My theory is the fight scared him so much he went into survival mode and into hiding where he felt safe.

If you think your God is hiding nearby a good tip is to put out some strong smelling Incense when it gets dark. Do it at the same time every night. Then try and keep watch from a distance to see if your God will venture out. He will venture out when he feels safe which is normally under the cover of night.

Also talk to your neighbours. Local children are also good to ask as they often notice unexpected miracles like their Koolaid turning into wine and will often help you with your search.

reply to post by georgemoseleylander


Haha cute story

Sad that you found time for this. Get a hobby.

Just in case someone comes along who actually IS interested in finding God:




LINKS

What Are You Living For? - Francis Chan
The Purpose of Your Life by Francis Chan
Living a Life That Matters
Francis Chan - "Giving up"
When God Doesn't Listen by Francis Chan
Francis Chan Live - Is God Hearing Your Prayers?
THE BIGGEST LIE IN YOUR LIFE
CRAZY LOVE - Introduction
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 1 (Stop Praying)
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 2
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 3
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 4
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 5
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 6
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 7
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 8
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 9
CRAZY LOVE - Chapter 10
BASICseries
LIVING WITH JOY - Francis Chan
Francis Chan - Living in light of Eternity
Francis Chan - Why People Hate Church

reply to post by FidelityMusic


I found history rather funny, so I would say he has a talent as a writer Which is a fine hobby

reply to post by georgemoseleylander


hihih. That was both adorable and loving in a way. I have a feeling god really loves your story for the feelings it brings of caring for a loved one. God has a tendency to play hide and seek and sometimes need help from us. And if you have not meet god yourself you can always try spirituallity and chakra. I might not like some religious partitioners views of god. But most of the time it is because I think they do not know god good enought and end up trash talking god.