ATS cat

I bought the book "I can pee on that and other poems by cats" today, by Francesco Marciuliano (who also writes the Sally Forth comic). I found the poem that was written by the cat that lives in the ATS offices.

I'm Not Paranoid (p.92-93)

I'm not touching my food because
there's a pill in it
I'm not having that treat because
there's a pill in it
I'm not going near your hand because
there's a pill in it
I'm not playing with that toy because
there's a pill in it
I'm not going into that room because
there's a pill in it
I'm not sleeping on that couch because
there's a pill in it
I'm not looking at the sky because
there's a pill up there
I'm not doing anything because there's a pill everywhere
You may think I'm paranoid
You may think I'm rather nuts
But you're not going to fool me twice
And besides, I think I can cure hookworm with my mind

reply to post by Zaphod58

I found the poem that was written by the cat that lives in the ATS offices.

I soooo didn't write that...

Ahabstar's cat, Sable, can write too??? Does a radio show AND is a published author?!

WAIT!
thats what passes as poetry nowadays?
whoa.

Loved it
Thanks for the chuckle. s&f

btw and totally off topic...I have a dog named Zaphod.

reply to post by Zaphod58

I found the poem that was written by the cat that lives in the ATS offices.

I found the bloke that owns the cat that wrote the poem that lives in the ATS offices...........



Sorry Domo1 - couldn't resist

I tried to bring balance to the world by eating all of the cats food and treats. FTR the cat was wrong about the pills because I don't feel nuttin'.

reply to post by CagliostroTheGreat


That's what passes for poetry when you speak in meow and don't have thumbs.

There are quite a few classics in this book.

reply to post by Zaphod58


i'm gonna start writing poetry then, cuz thats easy!

reply to post by CagliostroTheGreat


It'll be panned unless you meow, and rule the world, like cats do.

reply to post by Zaphod58


I have finally found someone who knows the truth...Cats rule!

reply to post by Sublimecraft




Ladies contain yourselves.

reply to post by Domo1


Ladies contain ourselves.There should be a warning sign that
looking upon that picture could cause blindness.
Not a personal attack,your avatar is very cute!

reply to post by Zaphod58


oh, i do.

i speak to my feline friends as though they were human friends (hacking into their facebook and changing their orientation to gay), feeding them off my own dinner plate (like i do my human friends) and listening to their hopes, dreams, and ambitions (unlike my human friends).

my poetry is gonna rule.

reply to post by Sublimecraft


Holy bloated Lord, Batman! That poor guy.....got all dressed up, tucked in his shirt, even wore a belt (wasn't easy to find one that fit), donned the make-up, and took the picture....only to find it circulating the internet as an example of what not to be when you grow up. I feel quite sorry for him, actually.

As for the cat poem, it was cute. I tend to have the vet give them the extended release antibiotic shot, so I don't have to wrestle with them to get a pill down their throat. Pilling a cat is one of those things that is just such a hassle, I avoid it unless absolutely necessary.

Paranoid kitty? NO....smart kitty! Lesson to be learned: Pills can lurk in the strangest places.....

reply to post by mamabeth


I figured that out at the New Hampshire Humane Society, when our first cat picked me out to take him home. Best choice he ever made (for us that is, he had a lot of interesting adventures with us that I think he came to regret). He was the most awesome cat ever. I wish he had written us poetry though.

reply to post by mamabeth


That picture has always frightened me too. I still remember when I took it. Just kidding.

I appreciate the compliment but I prefer to think of my avatar as being overtly manly.

CAT TIME !























ok my cat moment is over
it only happen once a month

beeeee nonnnnn .. always

How to Give a Cat a Pill, 20 Steps

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.

Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.


Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.