Athiest at Church

So, went to a Christening today...

I've always gone along with singing the hymns (I love most of them anyway) and saying the Lords Prayer etc...

But today, I don't know, I just couldn't be bothered to... I felt hypocritical joining in when I'm actually thinking ''what a load of nonsense... I despise religions & everything about them''.... So yeah, I just kind of rebelled and didn't contribute at all.... Obviously I didn't sit there yawning, shaking my head or anything.

Afterwards, my mother-in-law (who would be icy in a heatwave), asked me why I didn't join in today and also why I didn't donate any money to the church on the way out.... I told her how I felt and she definitely was not amused...

Now, I feel really guilty and wish I'd shown some respect...

I'd love to know what do other people do? I guess it also includes going to a church of a different religion to your own? Maybe there's some kind of etiquette I should read up on

did you not show respect by standing up for what you believe, or dont believe in?

Leave them to their prayers, you didnt burst into flames stepping inside or anything.....

If you were polite in what you said to her, you have nothing to feel guilty for. Guilt is what they want you to feel, because it's what they live in. I honor my family and friends right to believe as they choose, but I don't bow to their need for me to be what they want me to be. And if asked, as you were, I politely tell them the truth. If it leaves a sour taste in their mouth, so be it, their "god" leaves a sour taste in mine.

If you're not an Christian and find religion mind-numbing, why be shamed into going to church? If it's like a family thing I guess I can understand that, but if you're an atheist why partake in religious activity? Can't your family accept your atheism?

Yeah, I was polite, it didn't start an argument or anything... They know how I feel about religion but she was obviously surprised that I didn't join in like I normally do....

My heart is telling me not to worry it's her problem not mine. But then my brain is telling me that we should show respect to everyone's religion whilst under their roof and join in the proceedings....

I would never turn out an invitation to a special occasion at Church, I normally enjoy it and love having a sing-song... But not today, I don't know why but I felt angry at having to be there and like I wanted to scream at the vicar to stop talking such utter c**p and open her eyes to reality

reply to post by paradisepurple


Well, it's important to share in important events with your family, such as Christenings. It would be different if you went to church out of guilt or family pressure on a weekly basis. I think it's ridiculous and very hypocritical of those people who only attend the two major holy days like Christmas and Easter or Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur if Jewish. Is it me or does it not make much sense in that logic? To me it sounds like they are making an appearance so that no one talks about them or out of guilt.

My most awkward moment was when a family member died and we were all sitting in the first row at the funeral mass. When it came time to receive Holy Communion and our row was first due to our row assignment, I was the only one not to stand up to receive it. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE noticed even the priest. I felt the burn on the back from the relatives staring a hole through my back.Lol

It wasn't that I was being intentionally rebellious or rude, but I didn't feel it was right to pretend something I no longer felt (and it was no secret that I didn't consider myself Catholic anymore to family members). A family member glared at me when I moved aside to let her go by and probably for not just "going along" with everyone else and causing talk amongst the others.

I couldn't in all consciousness partake in a ritual that I didn't feel in my heart.

reply to post by paradisepurple

asked me why I didn't join in today and also why I didn't donate any money to the church on the way out.... I told her how I felt and she definitely was not amused...

It's really, really funny actually. There's the church where I live that has its name and everything engraves in the stone above its doorway, right? Nothing strange there. Here's the weird part: the engraving is painted in GOLD. REAL GOLD.

And I'm thinking to myself, "Jesus said sell all your belongings, you'll have treasure in heaven, etc. So why the hell would a church put such importance on gold? Its only real value is monetary. Seems a little shallow..."

No one could give me a good answer. And as George Carlin said:

When it comes to bull****, big-time, major league bull****, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bull**** story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bull**** story. Holy ****!

I've never heard Christianity so succinctly stated. George Carlin is my man.

And Christians will claim he misunderstands it! But show me...where is he wrong?

You were straight up about how you felt, that's alright. The fact that you went to Church when you clearly don't care for it, and didn't participate at all may have been offensive. It's like going to someones house in which you didn't want to go to in the first place, you go to not insult them, then end up insulting them by eating their food and staying quiet the entire time. I don't think you should feel guilty about what you did, but you could have thought it through a bit more and been straight forward from the beginning. When it comes to religion let all the ATS users crack on how the religious want to drag you down and want you to believe their idiotic beliefs, that isn't true. Religious people view their belief system as the key to Heaven, and they want you to reach it with them, especially FAMILY. So you have to understand how religious people feel, and they have to understand what you feel, it's going to take time for them to understand how you feel, but eventually they will, if not just simply go about what you want in life.

reply to post by itsallmaya


Exactly, that's how I felt...

I'm going to try and stop beating myself up about it because ultimately it wasn't if I showed disrespect by starting a rave in the aisle or spraypainting the pulpit

But still, I still feel really guilty and just can't decide how to handle it next time... I may stick to singing the hymns but leaving out the prayers..

reply to post by FidelityMusic

Religious people view their belief system as the key to Heaven, and they want you to reach it with them, especially FAMILY.

Of course. But usually, that family is either the highly impressionable young ones or the highly traditional older ones, and neither of them understands what makes YOU happy.

The young ones only know their place as making older people happy, and the older people know their place as telling younger people what to do. That's how traditions get passed down, whether those traditions are stupid or not.

reply to post by AfterInfinity


Haha, I have a Mormon friend and I'm sure she once told me they give 35% of their wages to their church, it was some kind of ridiculous sum anyway... We don't discuss her religion any longer, you can imagine what it would do to our friendship..

reply to post by paradisepurple


You know, there's nothing wrong with the hymns. There's a reason churches do that, and it spans all the way back to pagan rituals, sometimes called 'witchcraft': when a group of people associate a certain pattern of vibrations with a certain idea, and they enter those vibrations together, their energies unite and amplify each other as they all focus on that idea. Whether or not they believe in it, you WILL feel something unless you're determined not to, because a symphony of vibrations that weaves both within and without creates a sense of balance and harmony.

People call it the holy spirit. I call it harmonics. You can actually prove it through experimentation - I tell you this not to undermine the wonder, but to show you that it's REAL. It's got science behind it. The tuning fork, the crystal glass, the guitar string, they all vibrate, and you vibrate with them.

That's why they sing. That's why they chant. It's to harmonize and unite in that harmony. Unity in vibration. There' nothing wrong with it, it's GOOD for you, like a spa bath.

If they believe in God and heaven and the forgiveness of sins, should they not also have faith you will 'realise' your mistake and also be granted?

Shunning because they feel they wont see you again and you are a sinner for their current stand point, thats not what faith and hope is about.

*warning Christmas spoiler alert below*



I believed in santa when i was young, (hes luckily in every mall you go to right?) grew out of that ok

reply to post by FidelityMusic


You're right, that's an excellent way of describing it, now I know why I feel so guilty...!! It's like when I'm subjected to one of the icy mother-in-law's disgusting sunday roasts, I just have to swallow and smile and get on with it...

Yep, from now on I'm going to join in but there is no way I'm donating any more money

Originally posted by AfterInfinity
reply to post by paradisepurple

 

You know, there's nothing wrong with the hymns. There's a reason churches do that, and it spans all the way back to pagan rituals, sometimes called 'witchcraft': when a group of people associate a certain pattern of vibrations with a certain idea, and they enter those vibrations together, their energies unite and amplify each other as they all focus on that idea. Whether or not they believe in it, you WILL feel something unless you're determined not to, because a symphony of vibrations that weaves both within and without creates a sense of balance and harmony.

People call it the holy spirit. I call it harmonics. You can actually prove it through experimentation - I tell you this not to undermine the wonder, but to show you that it's REAL. It's got science behind it. The tuning fork, the crystal glass, the guitar string, they all vibrate, and you vibrate with them.

That's why they sing. That's why they chant. It's to harmonize and unite in that harmony. Unity in vibration. There' nothing wrong with it, it's GOOD for you, like a spa bath.

edit on 27-10-2012 by AfterInfinity because: (no reason given)

You're so right.. I love it...!! And this is why I have never minded going to church, I get such a buzz from the singing...

But today for the first time, I felt like I didn't want to contribute all my positive energy to something that I despise, if that makes sense..

at least you didnt sing loud and sarcastically the hymns with Lord replaced with *&^@, and praise with *&^%

you just didnt feel like singing, big deal.

reply to post by paradisepurple


Don't feel guilty! There is no requirement to sing or recite prayers in church. Lots of Christians don't sing in church. It is wonderful that you went too the christening despite your beliefs. Your mother-in-law should just be happy that you came. If she's not that is her problem- not yours.

Just to note: My husband does not sing at church. He prefers to listen and enjoy.

reply to post by paradisepurple


You feel as if your entire soul isn't into it, it doesn't mean as much. That's okay, I mean, if you felt that it didn't matter, then putting your all into something gets a little confusing, right?

Do what feels right for you.

reply to post by littled16


Thank you very much and I love your avatar

It's funny, I always wondered why some people don't sing in church, I always put it down to them having c**p voices and/or were too embarrassed to sing... Thanks

Actually, now I'm thinking about it, some of those other people who don't sing are probably just thinking the same as me.. so how come they don't get a ticking off from the mother-in-law...

reply to post by paradisepurple


Probably because most mother-in-laws are just happy to get you to go to church to start with!

I don't have son-in-laws, but if I did I would just be happy if they came to church- even if it was just for a special occasion. As it is I am happy that my daughters (one Atheist, one Agnostic) actually care enough about me to accompany me every once in a blue moon, although they both do always come for special occasions. It is enough that they come.