Here's my story....

reply to post by 03Smoker

After 7 months from being there I struggle with the whole God thing. I do see His works in my day to day life, but if anything goes wrong like it does in life for anyone, I can't see the point of giving God the glory. It seems He wants the praise for the good things but if something goes wrong He throws his hands up saying "Not my fault". Why is that?

He often uses trials and tribulations to teach us morals and important life lessons and values. He doesn't send evil at you, but he will let Satan test you in order to bring you closer to himself. I became a christian 2 years ago after being agnostic and i did grow up in a rather abusive "christian" home with a divorced dad who ultimately made me want nothing to do with Jesus for 14 years. I learned at the end of those 14 years which was 2 years ago to stop blaming God for the bad stuff that happens. Sometimes bad things just happen and it doesn't always have to be Satan or God. Many times we bring what happens onto ourselves for doing dumb things and making bad decisions. Remember God is a teacher and he made us to think for ourselves and make our own choices and that is how we learn. If he did everything for us how would we ever learn to love others and love him and to learn to forgive? We learn by making mistakes and having troubles come upon us and the important thing is to learn from those mistakes and move on. Don't blame God, just move on. Pick yourself up and carry on.

I want people here to help me and reaffirm my faith. To let me know that the changes I want in my life are the right things. How am I to know? What if I'm doing this all wrong and I just don't know it. While I was at the home and praying 6-7 hours per day I felt like I could hear God speaking to me. Now that I'm back to my hometown and I honestly don't pray like I did and I feel lost. I guess I could get back to that but life takes over. I have a job and bills to worry about. I can't devote most of my day to prayer. I guess I could but child support would want to know where the money is. ATS is full of great people and I know someone has gone thru this and can give me advice on how to handle this.

We're not mulim bro, we don't need to grind our faces in the dirt 5 times a day or devote 6-7 hours a day praying. If you want to hear God learn to listen to your conscience, because our consciences are attuned to his Spirit within us. You're trying too hard and it's going to burn you out. Stop being afraid God doesn't give us a spirit of fear and timidity. Be a lion and have confidence in your salvation. Jesus promised he will not turn away any who come to him, he will not forsake you nor will he take your salvation away. Salvation is given on grace, meaning you do not have to work for it, but your good works will manifest as a sign of your faith. Mercy is not getting what we deserve which is to be destroyed, grace is getting what we do not deserve which is eternal salvation. Salvation is not given on your personal merit, he will not take it from you based on your merits either. You can make short prayers, but mean them with all your heart and soul. Jesus is your friend and it's ok to talk to him like a friend, he wants that personal relationship with you. He said not to fear, so trust him and have faith in him that he will always be there for you no matter how tough it gets, he will never turn his back on you.

Originally posted by Klassified
Life is full of peaks and valleys, ebbs and flows. Whatever one believes isn't going to change that. But you can change your attitude toward it. Stop expecting the worst from life, and start expecting the best for and from yourself. Share your life experiences with others who may be going through similar circumstances, and can benefit from your insight.

You will find that when you genuinely reach out to help others, you start getting answers to your own questions. But bitterness, and introversion, will lock you in a prison of your own making.

I don't believe in the Christian, or any other God. But I would ask you one question. If the God you believe in allowed you to go through life with little in the way of trials and experiences to work your way through, what kind of a God would that be?

edit on 10/19/2012 by Klassified because: eta

Right. God's will is to give and receive, but never take. Any gift that is given must first be earned. We can give a gift away, but someone had to earned it to give it away first. We can receive a gift, but this causes bread of shame. God gives us everything and then allows us to repeat this process for the benefit of others. Bread of shame is then answered.

reply to post by 03Smoker

I want people here to help me and reaffirm my faith. To let me know that the changes I want in my life are the right things. How am I to know? What if I'm doing this all wrong and I just don't know it. While I was at the home and praying 6-7 hours per day I felt like I could hear God speaking to me. Now that I'm back to my hometown and I honestly don't pray like I did and I feel lost. I guess I could get back to that but life takes over.

The thing about group settings is that a group dynamic creates a dynamic spirit that the members share, as in "the sum is greater than the parts". When you are alone, your spiritual resources are limited to yourself and your divine company. Remember that "blessed are the poor in spirit," Matthew 5:5.

I found a link for you referring to the normal let down after having been at a spiritual retreat or summer camp or other such group setting. He's actually quoting another blog.

The majority of us are familiar with the infamous 'spiritual highs' we almost inevitably obtain in going to summer camp, spring break mission trips, and the like. I've experienced them a million times. It's as if you're on cloud nine when you come home to America. You see everything differently and you have that spirit pulsating through your veins that says, "I can change the world! I'm a spiritual giant!" And then after less than a week... you feel depressed... and anything but gigantic.
spiritual-highs-the-christian-mountain-top-expe rience

As far as prayer and Bible reading goes, you can combine that by starting at the "Sermon on the Mount" Matthew 5 thru 7. The section on prayer is chapter 6: 5-15 which includes such gems as: "And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words, for your father knows what you need before you ask him."

I hope this helps.

reply to post by 03Smoker


In this life there are powers much MUCH greater than a god.

For instance, if you are paying child support, then you are a father. As a father, supporting your children is THEE greatest power anyone can have. Sure, you might not feel that power everyday. You might not say to yourself, 'I am a loving, responsible parent." But, I promise you can say "I am a deadbeat piece of crap not worthy of my children's love," if you DON'T think of them as THEE most important thing in your life.

As for keeping up with alcoholism: You are a member of society. Society does NOT need another annoying, irresponsible drunk. Maintaining your sobriety means that you are a solution to the problem.

Just by taking care of these two issues allows you to walk with your head held high everyday. You can feel really REALLY good about yourself, and the reward comes from people respecting you for overcoming your personal problems (which really aren't that personal when considering all the people alcoholism hurts), and from knowing that you did the right things by your children.

Yes, there is a power greater than yourself. It's called being a contributing member of the human race.

Good luck and best wishes,

Jiggerj

Originally posted by 03Smoker
So....where do we begin? Here's my story....

I wasn't raised in a Christian home. My dad wasn't by any means and my mom wasn't because of him. At 10 years of age they divorced. Oh well on my part. My Papaw on my dad's side told him as long as she took care of us boys, my brother and I, she could live in the house as long as she wanted. My Papaw owned the land the house was on. After a couple of years my mom started dating. Nothing wrong with that. The man she chose was a die hard Christian. After a while she wanted my brother and I to go to church with them. That wasn't my thing. Needless to say I was kicked out at the ripe old age of 14 because I "didn't follow their rules". Her arguement was "my house my rules" mine was "Its Papaw's house and you don't pay the bills." She didn't. Papaw paid everything other than a home phone that I never used. At 14 years old on November 14 1998 I moved in with my Papaw. On the 15th he told my mom to GTFO. She moved away with my brother.

Honestly, I'm over this now. Here's where it gets into God and the such. I didn't believe. For a long time. At least 20 years as I'm only 28 now. You could say most of my life. Back in Feb. 2012 I went to a men's home for my drinking that I have been doing since I was 20. I drank every night 7 days a week. It was Christ based. I balked and fought the whole way there but settled for it for 30 days instead of 60 days in jail. Not a hard choice. At the home I found God. I met a lot men there that had had their lives truly changed thru the power of Jesus Christ. I wanted to be one of those men.

After 7 months from being there I struggle with the whole God thing. I do see His works in my day to day life, but if anything goes wrong like it does in life for anyone, I can't see the point of giving God the glory. It seems He wants the praise for the good things but if something goes wrong He throws his hands up saying "Not my fault". Why is that?

I'm not posting this to troll or go against God. I want people here to help me and reaffirm my faith. To let me know that the changes I want in my life are the right things. How am I to know? What if I'm doing this all wrong and I just don't know it. While I was at the home and praying 6-7 hours per day I felt like I could hear God speaking to me. Now that I'm back to my hometown and I honestly don't pray like I did and I feel lost. I guess I could get back to that but life takes over. I have a job and bills to worry about. I can't devote most of my day to prayer. I guess I could but child support would want to know where the money is. ATS is full of great people and I know someone has gone thru this and can give me advice on how to handle this.

its crap isnt it, this life.
Its all crap and hopeless, it holds nothing and the scary thing is we have God. In fact being Christian makes it more crap and harder because so many more questions arise, and people hate us.
God does want the glory for the good things and it seems when bad things happen He wants us to thank Him for them as well. Whats with that.
It seems compounded by everything and then theology rises its ugly stupid head some time. Thats crap as well.

Funny thing is the bible states clearly that its supposed to be that way. Go read how the apostles all died. Go read the trials they went through, go read Foxes book of martyrs.
Take a look what they did to Jesus.

See the promise isnt for now, the sermon on the mount is to those who suffer, we are expected to suffer, we are going to suffer.
Gods promise is for His kingdom to come, this is the world here and now.
the church lie when they say lollipops and roses. Its a crap sandwich, its a broken world, broken people and it is getting far worse.
We are told it will. hang on, the Christian message is "have faith when things turn to crap". There is a reason for that message, things turn to crap.

So just thank God for the good and bad, just have faith that He knows what he is doing. Most of all wait on His return and our rescue.

The promise is not for now, its for the soon. Rely on Him, dont rely on yourself.

Well done given up the drink, big hard step. Well done.

reply to post by 03Smoker


Let me tell you a story, I grew up knowing about Jesus went to a few different churches growing up whatever was close, asked the folks one time why they didn't go and was told they knew everything about church, but never talked about God. Grew up in the 70's or should I say came of age then. Smoking, drinking, sticking needles in my arms. The whole 70's drugs, sex, rock and roll. This continued on until the mid eighties, I was dealing coke that was so pure that if you did a dimes worth you would go into a seizure. You didn’t hear the plumbing you heard the Mayans gods singing. What had started out as being fun when I was younger had become a prison of dependency. I would do benders that lasted 3 to 4 days and then I would swear it off and be right back at it after a couple of days of recovery, even got a bleeding lung infection from freebasing and spit up blood for three days only to go right back at it when I was able to hold a needle without shoving it through my vein.
All that changed on august 10th 1986. A friend of mine who was doing a lot of what I was doing had gone back to the church of their youth and I was seeing a positive change in their life. So I thought what the hell I’d give God a try, on the 10th of August 1986 I rolled up my last joint and drank my last beer and went to church with my friend. There was a missionary speaking who had spent his life in the Marshall Islands. He spoke of a time when a man was in the process of beating him up the same man who had raped his wife and how God’s love was being shown to this man who had done the missionary so wrong. It was this love that broke the man and who came to Christ because of it. Well this story began to affect me and I went out into the foyer and was battling with myself about the conviction I was feeling about how my life had been similar to the man who had done the missionary so wrong. Of how I had stiffened my life against what God had planned for my life. By the grace of God a person Mark Biltz was able to see what was going at the moment and we went into a janitors closet and I surrendered my life to Christ.
At that moment I was delivered from my dependency to drugs and drink. I have never had one urge to drink or do drugs since then, no withdrawal no desire at all. Went to see all my friends and told them of what had happened to me and their response was that’s great for you and I never saw them again. It was like God cut me off from my old life and friends and started me on a new path. Sometimes the Lord brings those folks to mind and I pray for them. Has life been easy? No God has had a lot of things to work out of me and a lot of that happened when I got married but that is another story all together.