The Death of Compassion

reply to post by TheSparrowSings


I agree with you in some point, its not only tv and media but those are big part of modern life. Its the whole environment we are living in. We are living in a fandom of mass media, and when we do not reach the expectation goals we have set to ourself (unconsciously or consciously ) or others have set for us, we start to develop low self esteem, when we don´t fit in that´s when problems start.

We live hectic life and we don´t have or we are too tired to have quality time with our loved ones. For kids this is crucial as they need love and caring. Its not the same when you say on the phone " I love you " but actually showing it so that child knows you mean it. There are good parents and there are bad parents, it seems like amount of bad ones have been increasing. Not long ago there were on a news when family was going to vacation and in the airport they were told their daughter cannot fly with same passport with mother. What this couple did, they left their toddler in the airport and hurried up to the plane.

Its a sad sad World

I have to say that this thread is a breath of fresh air. I have been so shocked by the amount of our members who lack compassion. I simply cannot comprehend how they can justify their behavior. Kind of scary that there are so many who think and believe as they do.

What has become of our humanity? What has happened in the lives of these people that they are so disrespectful and lack emotions of compassion,sympathy and human decency???? They are like robots or zombies or something. Strange. Very strange.

reply to post by TheSparrowSings


It's the government and the society. Since self-service has come to be equated with status and value, we serve ourselves more and more desperately for fear that if we give one inch, someone will race past us and snatch the "prize" - whatever it may be - right out from under our nose.

We, as a society, are deluded. We are deluded into believing that vanity will lead us to perfection. If you want to know more, check the link in my signature. I just touched the tip of the iceberg in this post - there's a lot more.

reply to post by dollukka


A lot of that has to do with society today. Kinda noticed in in the 70's. Color TV's, Pong. It got bad in the 80's and hasn't changed. "GOTTA HAVE IT!!!" 30 years later it's Ipods and Ipads and whatever the latest gizmo is. We didn't have that so much in the 60's and early 70's. Mum stayed at home, she was cool with that. Hot soup and sandwich makes a student better after lunchtime.

Now, we have to have all the gadgets. It started imo with that damn color TV back in '72. Now we are at HD TV's. Laptops. Broadband. In a way those are basics, today, but are we working so hard for these things that basic structure is breaking down? Hell, I'm all for Mr Mom too. Just a better adult presence in our kids days.

Originally posted by dollukka
reply to post by TheSparrowSings

 

I agree with you in some point, its not only tv and media but those are big part of modern life. Its the whole environment we are living in. We are living in a fandom of mass media, and when we do not reach the expectation goals we have set to ourself (unconsciously or consciously ) or others have set for us, we start to develop low self esteem, when we don´t fit in that´s when problems start.

We live hectic life and we don´t have or we are too tired to have quality time with our loved ones. For kids this is crucial as they need love and caring. Its not the same when you say on the phone " I love you " but actually showing it so that child knows you mean it. There are good parents and there are bad parents, it seems like amount of bad ones have been increasing. Not long ago there were on a news when family was going to vacation and in the airport they were told their daughter cannot fly with same passport with mother. What this couple did, they left their toddler in the airport and hurried up to the plane.

Its a sad sad World

Some good points here. We do indeed live in a hectic world, but parents must make time to raise a child properly or don't have them at all. I have known many parents who worked their butts off and still managed to spend quality time with their children. Maybe todays young parents are too self absorbed. I don't know.

This has bothered me for a long time. Being a compassionate individual and empathetic/empathic it's extremely sad and confusing. The issue is clear that annoyance, hatred, fear, etc seem to be predominant these days. Then there's happiness. Seems there's not a whole lot else. Our emotions get played upon quite often almost everyday. It's hard to know what's just manipulation or what's real and often realness gets called "A ploy for sympathy" and often that is online.

It's astounding to me that I can see trending topics on Twitter like "#thingsthatihate" and see nothing but people annoyed at other people in some way shape or form. Mostly things like "people that keep texting when I stop replying, don't you get that I don't want to talk to you?" And we've almost surely had similar moments but really it can make one rethink their communications. Sometimes not. Personally, these things being so prevalent, I just opt to say very little online and in person. I hate it. I love talking and expressing my thoughts but I've learned mostly through years of criticism of various natures and severities, to word things carefully if I speak much at all and it's killed my self esteem. I don't think it's healthy. I know I am not alone either.

People hate drama or so they claim. I find drama to be different for everyone. Some say that then go watch reality TV. So they have to like it somewhat. Is it drama when an amputee talks about their life as an amputee? I've heard things being called out as attention seeking like that very thing when it's not the case. I just get sad because it seems that people want to not hear things that are unpleasant. Why can't people speak their minds? I know some people DO seek attention horribly and I don't know if they realise it. I know some people who do this and I mostly say nothing. I have spoken to them with a suggestion to end their issues and it was done without once saying that I was tired of listening to the complaints. People have no idea how much a little politeness can matter AND help. It's not always easy to fix stuff nor is it a persons "job" to do so but not everyone is out to be an attention getter for dramatic purposes. It is just assumed.

I hate hearing how people need to just rely on themselves and take responsibility all the time. It's true that taking responsibility IS a good thing. Though its not helpful when someone needs advice or just needs to vent and are brushed off or yelled at to just "take responsibility for your problems and don't rely on others" when they are trying to be responsible by asking advice or whatnot. Now it's to a point where people feel like they can't do anything without being afraid of being criticized and it turns people angry or hurt and then what? They wind up confused. I've been confused enough myself because of people trying to get me to "read between the lines" that I just automatically have assumed people don't care to hear what I have to say and that's been harmful. I often notice people are rude and hurtful just because of stuff in their own world like "I had a bad day at work and I was tired" why can't people be upfront with that in the first place? I've experienced too many times where things like this were the reasons I've been ignored or treated with unkindness. I then wonder who has the more rude behavior, them or me..

I think my points are clear and I hope they are. If we do not communicate better things just are gonna get worse. It's not like we don't have the tools to do it. Patience and time seems to be lacking. Willingness to see things from a differing perspective is also important. I have only hope that things can improve. Everyone can benefit from being kinder to another. Think before you speak and try to see another's point of view in an objective stance. Think about if your response is helpful or necessary in the situation. I am encouraging everyone to try this. It can really help.

Originally posted by AfterInfinity
reply to post by TheSparrowSings

 

It's the government and the society. Since self-service has come to be equated with status and value, we serve ourselves more and more desperately for fear that if we give one inch, someone will race past us and snatch the "prize" - whatever it may be - right out from under our nose.

We, as a society, are deluded. We are deluded into believing that vanity will lead us to perfection. If you want to know more, check the link in my signature. I just touched the tip of the iceberg in this post - there's a lot more.

We shouldn't need to race to snatch the prize. Or buy a certain possession so we feel we can be at par with out neighbors. I look forwards to checking out your link in your signature. Some in society are so preoccupied with what others think of them and their social status that they forget that their is no RIGHT way to have to present one's self to the world for acceptance.

Originally posted by Night Star

Originally posted by dollukka
reply to post by TheSparrowSings

 

Its a sad sad World

Some good points here. We do indeed live in a hectic world, but parents must make time to raise a child properly or don't have them at all. I have known many parents who worked their butts off and still managed to spend quality time with their children. Maybe today's young parents are too self absorbed. I don't know.

I think I am trailing off my original topic here but this is all stuff worth mentioning. Thankyou both for your thoughts on this topic. One problem is children who have not been given proper direction while growing up are now having children of their own. The blind are leading the blind. I believe so strongly is a parents presence throughout their child's development. I guess some parents would rather feel that they gave their children everything material that they wanted rather than the love that they needed.

Good thread. I read some of those threads, and a few of the comments were terribly cold-blooded.

Nobody is saying that people shouldn't have self-respect, or responsibility for their own actions. I think that there are a few on here who confuse these issues, as if we shouldn't have compassion and empathy for those who are hurting, who are lost and cannot find their way, and for those who need help and cannot seem to find it on their own.

The OP has compassion for all, even for those who are just damned unlikable (such as greedy bankers and bought-and-paid-for politicians). We could all use a lesson in compassion from her.

Our modern western world no longer values empathy, compassion, civility, and care for our fellow human beings, no matter what color or creed. There is something to be said about what is in our entertainment, and what we are putting in the minds of our children.

The way our government excuses cruelty, torture, violence against people who have done nothing, and division among the races and the religions, has created a culture that is selfish, cruel, and exclusionary. We have not progressed as evolved humans should have. We seem to be going backwards.

This thread brought to mind a religious sect in India called the Jain. They believe that every life is sacred, so much so that they dare not swat a fly, and they watch where they walk so as not to kill any living creature crawling along the ground. It is their feeling that every death creates a black stain on their soul.

I can't help but wonder if there is something to what they believe. How black is our collective soul, with all the deaths we have on our hands, through war, fomentation of civil unrest, poverty, etc? Have we reached the point of being unredeemable?

reply to post by rbkruspe


I think your whole reply deserves a thread of its own.

I think my points are clear and I hope they are. If we do not communicate better things just are gonna get worse. It's not like we don't have the tools to do it. Patience and time seems to be lacking. Willingness to see things from a differing perspective is also important. I have only hope that things can improve. Everyone can benefit from being kinder to another. Think before you speak and try to see another's point of view in an objective stance. Think about if your response is helpful or necessary in the situation. I am encouraging everyone to try this. It can really help.

After reading your last point it occurred to me. I wrote this thread because I was tired of all the hatred and disregard for human life that I have seeing. But it has drawn the most compassionate and caring group of people I have ever come across. Funny how that works, eh? Kind of helps re-kindle some faith I had been losing in the people of ATS and humanity in general.

Originally posted by FissionSurplus
I can't help but wonder if there is something to what they believe. How black is our collective soul, with all the deaths we have on our hands, through war, fomentation of civil unrest, poverty, etc? Have we reached the point of being unredeemable?

Our collective soul is darker than an abyss... and those who still care and have a chance, begin to find themselves lost within its darkness. If I believed in a higher power I would pray to it that we are not beyond redemption. I feel like I am trapped in the Djinn-bottle, in the Vestibule, on the outer edge to Hell. (Book reference. Inferno by Larry Niven)

As already mentioned here, TV, movies and music play a part in this apathy. Also, teenagers go through a very rough time (between hormones, becoming adults while still treated like children, peer pressure, sometimes bullying and the ways that the media exploits these weaknesses to sell their latest products.) Fashion is pushed on girls, forcing them to be dress and act artificially and even to slim down too much. I think that a lot of the snide, cruel and cold remarks that we see online are made by such teenagers. Much of the time they may simply not realize what they are saying and are merely trying to sound "cool" (or reacting thoughtlessly as they normally would in the shrewd social climate they are used to), rather than open up about how they really feel inside (if they even know.) And as mentioned, government actions play a part for sure (between war, terrorizing their own people with fears of whatever "enemy" we're supposed to fear next.) And there is the apathy of the education system (which doesn't care about your feelings or your opinions usually at all.) Also, the problems of parents who sometimes seem to expect their children to be like young adults! I have known parents who ignored their children's problems, believing that all their adults problems were more serious (my, how forgetful some people can be...)

In short, there is a lot of stress, friction and competition between us. There is such a strive to "prove" ourselves as individuals and as groups, that we are always feeling insecure and trying to out-do (or at least keep up) with others who are "doing better" (such as your neighbor who has a nicer lawn and a prettier wife.) Somehow, the things in life that truly matter (love, passion, compassion, loyalty) are tossed aside by our automatic, sub-conscious insecurities. Our desire to feel that we are what we're "supposed to be" (as judged by those around us) is important than real substance. In other words, it all seems to boil down to ego insecurities.

How do we overcome this? It begins with the KIDS. Parents should be more aware about how they are being raised. Teachers, principals and other authority figures need to be more aware of how they're being looked after. And kids themselves need to be more aware of they treat each other. How can this happen? I think it starts with discussions like this one; examining the problems and raising concerns (awareness.)

reply to post by TheSparrowSings


Great idea this thread. To allow people to speak openly about a noted and significant reduction in compassion. The mere fact it has been noted is sad and to attract others who want to comment - means it is being noted on a wide scale.

Compassion and empathy are important attributes for a healthy psyche. We know that psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists are sadly lacking in empathy. What we - who are compassionate and empathic - must remember is that no amount of encouragement will change the psychopath, sociopath and narcissist. Even medical specialists have difficulty assisting these sad creatures to become healthier humans.

All I know is this - I am glad that I have a compassionate and empathic nature. Yes it brings a burden with it and that is largely because the world is full of so many people who don't share these qualities. I know that my soul is the most important part of me. People who are lacking in compassion and empathy will eventually succumb to their own pain.

Sad, deluded and emotionally void people will attempt to derail the kindness of inspired people because they have not yet evolved - and all we can do is - come together from time to time - via threads such as these - and bolster each other. We know we are made of the good stuff and one day we will help the others - somehow we will work it out.

Much Peace...

reply to post by TheSparrowSings

Hey brother,
Don't worry too much about what other people says. We should not forget that we have to deal with a lot of "professionals demotivators" in life, not only on this site.
Compassion is not dead, it's just not so trendy anymore. It's just not viewed as so cool as the usual toxic plastic toys the most people are so proud to display...
C'est la vie!!!
Compassion has a very low marketing value, and it is indeed an easy slow target for the prevalent negativity of our times.
Nevertheless, it will never be beaten down for good, because our moral wallet will always ask for it.
Keep moving, keep fighting warrior, we have your back

DENY IGNORANCE regardless of it's form

greetings

You touched on it. It is because they feel safe being jagoffs while hiding behind a monitor screen. Would they say something similar in public? Probably not.

or if they do, they don't have many friends, and they are the people that appraoch a group for a chat and everyone immediately leaves.

There is plenty of compassion in the world, or people would of not been upset by the recent batman massacre, 911, the Japan situation.

Trust me, empathy is not dead. My son is only 6, the next upcoming generation, we had to take our kittens to get shots on Saturday. He was so upset (being in the age group that gets shots, lolol) that he was worried about them being hurt. and then he held and cuddled each one with soothing words after they got their shot.

It was the sweetest thing you ever saw.

reply to post by nixie_nox

Trust me, empathy is not dead. My son is only 6, the next upcoming generation, we had to take our kittens to get shots on Saturday. He was so upset (being in the age group that gets shots, lolol) that he was worried about them being hurt. and then he held and cuddled each one with soothing words after they got their shot.

And it is people like you who take the time to raise their children properly that bring a smile to my face and a memory of a greatness that can still come. We shall teach the newest generations to love unconditionally and respect all.

reply to post by TheSparrowSings


so the solution you came up with was to get a reaction from posting something online ?
ohh okay then.
expose people for what they are...?
or make an assumption of someone because they reacted to you?
dont know why i even responded to this?
i like to feed the thoughtless

reply to post by stopmakingsense


Not sure why you bothered to respond either. My response to seeing sheer hatred towards another human being and people justifying statements that condemn any other human being to death (and not just online, in case you missed that in my OP) was to write a thread about it. Seeking out others who may feel this way, have noticed these things, and I was able to find them.

If you feel like coming back and replying I am interested in everyone's thoughts. Just make sure your read my OP first so that we are on the same page and then answer me this.

"Is it EVER justifiable to condemn another to death? To make statements like 'line up the politicians and shoot them all' and to show blatant disregard for any other human beings life??" (Even if only through words)