I hate everything.

I'm in a really foul mood. I'm also switching to "apathetic mode."

My family is starting fights with me and harassing me. I can't just stay out of it, because my brother and sister are involved. Now, my bro and sis are wrapped up in the drama. My sis is learning to lie and treat people like trash, or puppets, to get what she wants. My bro has a serious mental disorder, and he's become so angry he's getting violent and paranoid, so much that he's sneaking knives out of the kitchen and hiding them under his bed.

Not only do I get the pleasure of being at their effing mercy, like I have been ALL MY LIFE, but some worthless loser living in our apts apparently complained about the way our apartment "smells."

So? So what if our apartment smells? It doesn't affect them at all. They don't live in our apt, or even near it.

So, someone snitching about our apparently smelly apartment (never noticed any smell in here before, but whatever), has resulted in the employees whining about it too. "Oh, the maitenence men don't want to come in your apt anymore because it smells..."

Apparently, the maitenence men can go upstairs and leave the sink running in the bathroom for three days straight, making a waterfall leak through the ceiling in our bathroom, but they can't put up with a little weird smell when working in someone's house in which they're PAID to work in.

So, because of this crybaby bs, we have to get rid of all our cats.

I have two young cats I got a few months ago. A little black and white one named Psycho, and a little tribal one named Leo. I love them so much, watching them play makes me happier than anything... I was so happy I had something that could cheer me up when I was upset. Those things are kind of hard to find for me.

But then I started thinking.

Usually, if you're happy, that means there's something wrong.

Whatever is making you happy is gonna disappear. That's how it usually works.

And sure enough, I have to get rid of them now that I'm attached. They're my babies.

But that doesn't matter.

What matters is snitching, whining, money, business, and the landlord to whome we're expected to bow.

Yes mastah, you can have our cats.

We can barely afford food for ourselves and the cats, but we manage to take care of them because we love them so much. They're family.

But no... instead of having a sweet, innocent family of kittens, I get stuck with the trash that I'm ashamed to share a bloodline with.

We're supposed to be transitioning jobs, but the job my fiance got lined up bailed on him, now we're without work and money, and soon, we'll run out of food again. It's only a matter of time before we lose internet too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go give my babies to some stranger on craigslist so some stranger can probe or breed them.

I should have nown better than to let happiness take over me. I know that never ends well.

Whatever.

The lady across the hall from me has cats, and it makes the entire hallway reek when she opens her door.

Cats stink, litter boxes stink, and dogs stink too. Show a little more effort to get fresh air through the place, and expect to do a lot of renovating to get rid of cat urine.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


The Kitties should not smell if you have a litter box and it is cleaned everyday. If you don't have $$ get a box line it with a free plastic bag, put sand in it if you can't afford litter but the secret is not only clean it daily but take the used sand or litter or even dirt will work and better with baking soda in it out to the trash daily.

Sound like you are ready to get out on your own and drop the family completely!
if you can buy a bottle of Febreeze..it really works...spray it all over no more smell!

Good luck to you sorry you are so unhappy the thing is not to think things stay the same forever things change! You never know what good awaits you ahead!

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

Personally, I probably wouldn't say 'everything', but I do hate everyone. Also, aside from just a couple things, I don't really give a crap about anything.

After you become accustomed to the hate, and the '*Snip* It All' attitude, you may also come to the same realization as I did. Which is:
[color=E8D1AE]Hmm. Imagine that. This really ain't so bad, after all. It does have it's advantages.

[color=FF9999]'*Snip* em'.
'*Snip* each and every one of em'.
Now I don't have to listen to their BS.

Originally posted by DaTroof

and expect to do a lot of renovating to get rid of cat urine.

lol. Not all cats piss on the floor.

Heck, my lil furry feline friend won't even piss in the yard. From the very day that he first moved in, he has used the litter box.

I'm so sick of waking up every day to this crap...

Nothing will get better. Or, if it does, it will crash and burn, making things three times worse than before. That's the natural course of the universe.

Originally posted by DaTroof
The lady across the hall from me has cats, and it makes the entire hallway reek when she opens her door.

Cats stink, litter boxes stink, and dogs stink too. Show a little more effort to get fresh air through the place, and expect to do a lot of renovating to get rid of cat urine.

Actually, cats are pretty clean animals, and don't stink, but the litter boxes do. Seems to me you just don't like animals. Personally, I never trust people who don't like animals. Not that you need or desire trust from me, I'm just saying.

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
I'm so sick of waking up every day to this crap...

Nothing will get better. Or, if it does, it will crash and burn, making things three times worse than before. That's the natural course of the universe.

Things can and do change. I was once so low I tried to kill myself, I had no idea that the life ahead of me could turn out to be wonderful! I felt like you do I thought nothing could change and that I was meant to suffer.

The truth is things don't change until you change. You can't keep walking the same line and expect anything to change.

if you choose to end your life you may have missed out on the best part like I would have!


First thing is to do things different then usual, any change is good, even walking to work or school a different way. Don't wallow in self pity but move! Do anything at all and things start to happen, but you must make the the first move not wait for someone to fix it for you or lay around and suffer.

Originally posted by poloblack

Originally posted by DaTroof
The lady across the hall from me has cats, and it makes the entire hallway reek when she opens her door.

Cats stink, litter boxes stink, and dogs stink too. Show a little more effort to get fresh air through the place, and expect to do a lot of renovating to get rid of cat urine.

Actually, cats are pretty clean animals, and don't stink, but the litter boxes do. Seems to me you just don't like animals. Personally, I never trust people who don't like animals. Not that you need or desire trust from me, I'm just saying.

Dogs and cats are OK, I just don't like sharing a living space with them. Other people's animals? Love em, except when I bring home a shirt full of fur.

Cats don't stink. Their litterboxes do. The litterboxes aren't being kept clean and being changed regularly. That is the only reason there is a stink.

If you have a stud, neuter it. If there is any spraying behavior, discipline with a spray bottle of water in the face. Clean the area with a cleaner designed for the removal of cat urine available at pet stores and sometimes vets.

People who visit the homes of good cat owners never smell the cat because the litterbox is properly cleaned and changed.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


Welcome to the club. I'm not that out spoken about it, I rather keep it to myself to tell you the truth. The situation in which I'm in doesn't really permit me to do so. Out of self-perservation I guess. I do empathize with some people. But I try to stay away because society angers me so much most of the time. If I didn't have kids I'd probably live out in the woods somewere.

Originally posted by DaTroof

Originally posted by poloblack

Originally posted by DaTroof
The lady across the hall from me has cats, and it makes the entire hallway reek when she opens her door.

Cats stink, litter boxes stink, and dogs stink too. Show a little more effort to get fresh air through the place, and expect to do a lot of renovating to get rid of cat urine.

Actually, cats are pretty clean animals, and don't stink, but the litter boxes do. Seems to me you just don't like animals. Personally, I never trust people who don't like animals. Not that you need or desire trust from me, I'm just saying.

Dogs and cats are OK, I just don't like sharing a living space with them. Other people's animals? Love em, except when I bring home a shirt full of fur.

I can respect that, Troof.

reply to post by Char-Lee


I think you understand how I'm feeling, except one thing.

I would never kill myself.

If I ever snap, I will kill other people.

You're right about changing things though.

I want to live in an RV. I feel like all this crap in my apt, the tvs, my ipod, the ten different game systems, internet, netflix, all this senseless crap...

I feel like I don't need it.

I was once homeless with my mother, and I had nothing but a walkman and a couple double A batteries, and when I got out of school, I had nowhere in particular to go. I was free to explore the city, make friends with people on the street, go to the library and browse at books and play on the web for a couple minutes... I wasn't tied down to an apartment, a lease, bills, red tape...

I was much happier.

And an RV in an on-the-move home. I feel like I'd be happier if I had less.

I think having all these things, with all the problems piled on top of it, is ruining me.

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

I think you understand how I'm feeling, except one thing.

I would never kill myself.

If I ever snap, I will kill other people.

You're right about changing things though.

I want to live in an RV. I feel like all this crap in my apt, the tvs, my ipod, the ten different game systems, internet, netflix, all this senseless crap...

I feel like I don't need it.

I was once homeless with my mother, and I had nothing but a walkman and a couple double A batteries, and when I got out of school, I had nowhere in particular to go. I was free to explore the city, make friends with people on the street, go to the library and browse at books and play on the web for a couple minutes... I wasn't tied down to an apartment, a lease, bills, red tape...

I was much happier.

And an RV in an on-the-move home. I feel like I'd be happier if I had less.

I think having all these things, with all the problems piled on top of it, is ruining me.

think you could sell your tv,, game systems,, maybe excess clothing,, and other items,,, if you truly run out of money for food? and at the same time would be motivation to continue live a more materialessness, clutter free lifestyle?

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

I think you understand how I'm feeling, except one thing.

I would never kill myself.

If I ever snap, I will kill other people.

You're right about changing things though.

I want to live in an RV. I feel like all this crap in my apt, the tvs, my ipod, the ten different game systems, internet, netflix, all this senseless crap...

I feel like I don't need it.

I was once homeless with my mother, and I had nothing but a walkman and a couple double A batteries, and when I got out of school, I had nowhere in particular to go. I was free to explore the city, make friends with people on the street, go to the library and browse at books and play on the web for a couple minutes... I wasn't tied down to an apartment, a lease, bills, red tape...

I was much happier.

And an RV in an on-the-move home. I feel like I'd be happier if I had less.

I think having all these things, with all the problems piled on top of it, is ruining me.

I have a sister who seems to feel very much like you. She did get a cheep one of those small homes with the motor in front and moves around a lot. She hates having a regular life 9-5 job and all that. She is very beautiful even now at 40ish and actually I think men give her a lot of what she has, but she seems happy now so to each their own, just gotta make changes even if it is just one thing. Strange thing in life you start doing something different and things just start to happen!
hard to get started we are all such habit formers but even the little changes seems to push the universe to send you change!

In mother Russia, you don't hate everything.

Everything hates you.

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
I'm so sick of waking up every day to this crap... Nothing will get better.

Those things are NOT going to limit you from being great in eternity!

Xx, why are you HERE? To choose LOVE...

Like when you saved your best friends life, that is the type of thing that will really matter in eternity!

"You are not of this world. You are going to die in about 50 years, for real, maybe sooner at best. Life is a vapor. You are going to die, sooner then you think. You are going to face the uncreated One, in your barrenness, in your raw self, you are going to face the uncreated One.

But what you do in this age with your heart response in love is the only thing, the only thing, the only thing that matters. In the truest sense of the word. Why are you here? To choose love.

There is an invitation that the Lord wants to give you in this hour. To set your heart on a pilgrimage, not of this world. Set your heart on a pilgrimage to be great in eternity. You are going to be there in just a moment, you are going to be there in just a moment. And what you have done in love and service is what is going to stand in that day."

Eternity - YouTube ////// Eternity Speaking /////// MP3