European Commission has just announced an agreement.

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and key boards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with " f ". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing " th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, v e vil al be speking Jerman like zey vunted in ze forst plas.


If zis mad you smil , pleas pas on to oza pepl

So basically, we're dumbing down our great language.

I think theres a conspiracy in here somehwere

Seriously, it sounds like advanced Txt talk. Absolutely ridiculous.

reply to post by n00bUK


have you read it? its a joke it sounds like a german accent when read

Originally posted by haven123
reply to post by n00bUK

 

have you read it? its a joke it sounds like a german accent when read

edit on 3-10-2012 by haven123 because: (no reason given)

I read it all. I just thought you we're trying to give a good example..lol

I was just googling now to try find it, but could'nt find anything..I now know why.

Thank god.

**puts the sign and pitchfork back in the cudboard**

reply to post by n00bUK


Those are indeed life saving changes that will save the people of EU.

I applaud the EU bureaucrats for having this meeting and using their great minds (not to mention cheap hourly rates) to conclude such important matters....when everything seems to be failing...this shows the EU is not doomed. /end "foaming at the mouth" sarcasm

this maby should have went in jokes fourum to give people a heads up seem it being taken seroisly lol

Originally posted by haven123
this maby should have went in jokes fourum to give people a heads up seem it being taken seroisly lol

yeah, and imagine all the readers that didn't replay. they are having a kind of slightly changed worldview today.

reply to post by haven123


Lol, zat loks mor lik Jerman/Frens Engliz zen Engliz.

Better not do this, i've had a hard enough time learning normal English..