Dreams from my (dying) father.

I'd like to share with you all a little about my Dad who is finally succumbing to stage 4 lung cancer after fighting for nearly a year. While the tumors in his lungs have quit growing the cancer meanwhile spread through his lymph system and is now in his brain. He may not even last another week.
He can no longer walk, stand, sit up or even feed himself which I know must be very difficult for a man who for 82 years has prided himself on never asking for anything. Just 2 months ago after the super derecho event blew through our town and took out power he showed up at my door with a generator, 2 coolers full of ice and a portable air conditioner. As sick as he was he drove for 3 hours, went to several stores and came to help even though no one had asked.

For a very ordinary and unassuming man he really is quite extraordinary. He always had a genuine smile for anyone he met, never complained (not even during this last year!) and I don't think he called in to work sick even once. He was a product of the depression and learned at an early age how to hunt if he wanted to have dinner that night. He was the kind of man who could fix damn near anything and if he didn't know he learned how.

There was never a dog that he couldn't make friends with and he was even better with people. He wasn't the type to wait for someone to ask for help if they needed it, he always volunteered before they could even say a word. For years he helped an injured vet who lived down the street, a man who suffered severe frostbite injuries during the Battle of the Bulge in WW2. His extremities were so swollen that he could not use his hands and needed assistance just to get out of bed each day but even in the middle of the night my Dad would go if called.

He provided for my Mother, Brother and myself and we never wanted for anything material. We were never rich but he always managed to take us on vacation every year. It was from him I received my love of nature and he would often take us camping, hunting and fishing. When we left we always had more garbage that he had picked up along the way. I remember asking him why he was picking up trash that others had left and he told me that "we should leave a place better than we found it".

That was and is my Father, a man who leaves the world a better place for his being in it. He taught me to take pride in any work I did, to do it right, to be honest with others, to be helpful and to be humble. I cannot express how fortunate I feel to have had him for a father.

Maybe you never met my Dad or maybe you were one of those countless people he stopped to help on the highway who were broke down or out of gas.

His spirit will remain as long as his sons, 4 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren and countless friends remember him. No one deserves a good rest more than my father. He was a Navy vet, a volunteer hunting safety instructor and lifelong NRA member.

Godspeed to you Dad,
With love and respect,
Your son.

To good fathers, there are so few of them now days.

Your dad sounds like a good and honorable man, my condolences.

What a nice tribute to your father, and I'm sorry that he does not have much more time on this earth.

The world needs more people like him, and I must say you are a testament to how good of a father he was.

I have always admired your character through your posts I have read ,and now I can see what helped develop that character over the years.

heres to your dad... the world will be losing a great man, but his contributions to humanity will be felt for a long time.

reply to post by Asktheanimals


My tears are streaming with this moving tribute to your father. How wonderful for you to have a Dad like him, and how wonderful for him, to have a son like you.

reply to post by Asktheanimals


A Wonderful Tribute !

I am sure he is as proud of you as you are of him.

My thoughts and prayers to your Dad, to you and to your family in these final moments.

Thank you everyone for your very kind comments.
You are my ATS family and I thank you for sharing this time with me now.
My Dad has lung cancer yet never smoked. Life is full of ironies.
He enjoyed a lifetime of being very healthy and was even kayaking before he got sick.
He isn't in any pain apparently and doesn't ask for any pain meds so he isn't suffering, something we are all grateful to see.
I'm just hoping that he will slip away quietly in his sleep.

I'm more worried for my mother now as I'm sure she won't want to stay in a house all alone with nothing but memories for company. Fortunately, we have a room for her with us so she will be comfortable and even closer to her grand and great-grandchildren.

I encourage you all to count your blessings and keep your family close.
Times like this remind us of how important they truly are.

Thank you.

ATA,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Your dad sounds like a wonderful man and a great father.
I'd say as proud as your are to call him Dad, he is surely proud that you are his Son.

I wish your family strength for the coming weeks.
And send loving thoughts.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us!!!

I must confess that for me it was almost painful to start reading this for as you know I had no father. Yet as I read on, I understood that this is exactly the father I would have chosen for myself.

Frankly I turned out as well as I have because of the love and care of my Granny whom you have heard me speak of. I just wonder what I could have been like with the love of a man like this....

You absolutely MUST continue to remember the good times and all that he has taught you and I will pray also that he passes in his sleep quietly.

You are a lucky man and a special man yourself in personally seeing and understanding how lucky you are

Semper

Very eloquently expressed. Brought tears to my eyes that one.

If my Dad were dying today I would only have two words for him, good riddens. Who knows, maybe that will change.

It's very emotional for me to hear from someone that clearly respects and loves their Dad as one should. Sounds like he has earned every bit of it. A real man, and a real gentleman.

You'll meet again, drawn by the magnetic pull of your love.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Cancer is is a cruel bastard to say the least.

It's funny how our parents still think of us as their babies even when we are grown. Him showing up with the generator, ice, etc. only proves that a parent's job is for life and those that treasure it are the ones who who leave lasting marks on our lives. They teach us how to better parents, they go without many, many times so they can know our needs will be met and a lot of times they go without just so we can have our wants met as well.

These are the parents that make us feel inadequate as parents ourselves because we can not even begin to fathom being able to do half the job they did while raising us. They guide us even when they are not present. They are our strength when we think we have no more left to give. They are what keeps us striving to be better people so that we can see the pride in their eyes when they look at us.

Your father sounds like a great man that did great things for you and your family. I have a lump in my throat for you as I type this because I know how painful this can be. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. But know that he will never truly leave you. He is in you. He molded you to be the best you could be because he knew he would not always be there. His strength will help see you through this and if you ever need to talk, shoot me a pm. I wish I could offer more than that, but I can not. Stay strong and may you find some solace soon.

Sounds like I like your pops. Im a better person for reading this post. Thanx

Oh honey. it breaks my heart to see you and your family have to suffer though this. I wish you all the strength and courage that you need at this difficult time. You have your ATS family here by your side and you are not alone. HUGS!!!!

He sounds like an amazing man.

I miss my dad every day. He died at 53 from cancer.

You mentioned dreams in the title.....

reply to post by Asktheanimals


Thank you for this. Your description of your dad read exactly like my father in law. He passed 4 years ago from a heart attack. He was a truely good person. I had heard of people like him but never met any until him or since him.

Very sorry to hear that another one of the few is ailing. We will all be deminished.

reply to post by Asktheanimals


My heart goes out to anyone battling this horrible disease. I'm a stage 4 cancer survivor myself. Its hard to watch a loved one going through this. You and your dad will be in my prayers.

I hope youre walking in this great mans foot steps.... wish he was my dad lol

Originally posted by selfharmonise
He sounds like an amazing man.

I miss my dad every day. He died at 53 from cancer.

You mentioned dreams in the title.....

I'm very sorry to hear that you lost your dad so young.

I mentioned dreams because my Dad is at least as important as Barack Obama's so I borrowed from his book title a bit.

It occurred to me that everything that is wrong with the world today my father is the antithesis of; were there more people of his character we wouldn't be having so many problems. His life gives me pause to reflect on the kind of person I'd like to be and I was hoping others would feel the same after reading about him.

All i will read is the post name. I honestly will not read your post because it breaks my heart to even fathom what you are going through. My father, at 55, was diagnosed with colon cancer then they removed their diagnosis, finding out he was clean of cancer. I balled my eyes out during the 24 hours in between diagnosis's's's.

I lit a stick of my favorite incense and prayed for your father first, mine second.

I don't know what your post is about but i wish you luck during your hard times, and hope/pray that your father feels no pain. Also i want to tell you that your father is the most important person in your life right now, and make sure you get as much time to spend and communicate with him as possible.

Peace and Blessings to you and your family.

Edited to add this video. It is very relevant and brings positive thoughts but heavy "emotion" in your struggle. Good luck.


Vick'

Originally posted by Asktheanimals

Originally posted by selfharmonise
He sounds like an amazing man.

I miss my dad every day. He died at 53 from cancer.

You mentioned dreams in the title.....

I'm very sorry to hear that you lost your dad so young.

I mentioned dreams because my Dad is at least as important as Barack Obama's so I borrowed from his book title a bit.

It occurred to me that everything that is wrong with the world today my father is the antithesis of; were there more people of his character we wouldn't be having so many problems. His life gives me pause to reflect on the kind of person I'd like to be and I was hoping others would feel the same after reading about him.

The result that you desired is the same with me.

I do know somebody like your dad; my step dad.

And your mention could not come at a better time. I am at a point in my life where I am re-evaluating and changing my behavior on many levels. This is perfect.

reply to post by Asktheanimals


My Father passed away from lung cancer; in reading your thread; my heart and soul was deeply touched; my Father was a similar type of man.

What you said about your Father is beautiful and filled with so much love; I think he raised a son just like him.