Parents and Future Parents, How Does Research Effect Your Decisions?

I ask this question as a parent myself, I started researching when my oldest boys were much older, and now they have have moved, and I have my youngest 2 girls. I home-school and live in a rural area, coming from NYC this was a big change, but it has been fulfilling and I wouldn't change it for the world.

When we are around other children and parents they dont seem to be anti-social in anyway, but when some of the children begin discussing things like Nickelodeon, or Disney, or the newest most expensive toys, thats when you begin to notice a difference.

They are not concerned what others think, as I have already told them that they are special, not in the way that they are above, just different thoughts on different things. I love their independence, and their free thinking. They dont seem to be worried about not "fitting in", and I am proud of them.

I wondered about others here on ATS that are parents, and how they deal with research and how much they tell their kids, or if they noticed that their kids have changed due to their research. Sometimes we can delve into some serious things, with crime, and world wide issues that involve children, and sometimes we cant help but to take our research personally.

The most that I have shared that I thought was just as necessary as the "drug talk" is that of group think, personal responsibility, and self worth. I made sure I made it clear that feeling good about yourself, sharing, loving, and giving, make a person.

Not looks, clothing, money and wasting. I know that they will be outside the "norm" on many levels and I think that as long as I guide them, and make sure that I take the time to teach and listen then we as parents can actually raise different children in a time when kids are out of control.

BTW, I have to add that by me telling them that being nice, is also a window for some to take advantage, and that this is sometimes even more important, so listen more then you speak and give more than you take.

Please share your thoughts, Peace, NRE.

am probably not the typical parent ... all my children are adopted ( sterile thanks to agent orange and uncle scam ) 4 were war orphans .. they're grown now with families of their own .. and 2 that adopted and raising now survived the earthquake in fukushima ...

maybe due to them having seen more of the darkside of humanity .. and having survived disasters Ive always been blunt and honest with them ... suppose could call it homeschooling as educated them before they went off to uni ... lol they gave the lecturers nightmares with what they knew already ...

as parents its our duty to raise and teach our children properly in all things ... failing to is failing both ourselves and our children ...

from sound of it your doing a great job raising them you should be proud of them ...

NOT AT ALL...thankfully my parents didn't rely on research so they taught me common sense...I pass that onto my kids and so they won't need strangers to advise them on the most personal and private matter we have besides our no no´s....how to raise your kid...

I will do so without any liars and pill pushers telling me how much of a bad parent I am for raising a happy, social, well adjusted kid in great health with a fast and analytical mind.

It is not good genes either, we care and it shows.

F your couch and your research.....lol

I´m Rick James´ parents.....

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


Research, for me, has nothing at all to do with parenting. Research and statistics and social theorizing are all about generalization. Research is all variable - you can find research results to support almost any belief system. Also, it is very clear that some research studies are fueled by money and not actual science. That said, my family is unique; we aren't generalized. Thus, any research I find is only vaguely applicable at best.

If you are talking about research into conspiracies and secret agendas, etc, then those have nothing at all to do with my family. All of that stuff is speculation, so I don't see a reason to bring it up as "fact" or let it influence my life.

I do, however, have discussions with my children about current events, and things that scare them about the world because I am interested in how they perceive the world. They have very astute and relevant observations; I learn a lot from them.

I've had conversations with them about drugs and smoking and alcohol and tattoos and music and politics and television and child abuse and other topics that parents should be concerned about. My children are relatively young, though, so at this point it is more of an open dialogue than anything. And, I think that is the most important part, because when they are older, they will know that they can talk about difficult topics with me.

I parent by listening and considering how best to reach each child. All of my children are different types of people, so I parent them based on their personalities:

My eldest son (7) is an empath and very sensitive, yet extremely aware and knowledgeable about humanity. He understands that the world is not nice and not going to be nice, but he also understands that he can be nice to the world and other people without being used or abused. He is the kind of person that would give someone the shirt off his back, but not hesitate to defend others against being hurt. He is a natural leader, although he must first conquer his emotion to step up to leadership. I work with him to recognize and address fears so that he is not limited by it. He doesn't talk about "normal" stuff with other kids, even though he goes to public school. He is most interested in being a dendrologist and meteorologist, so this is his main focus in life. He gets the other kids playing "escape from the tornado" pretty quickly.

My daughter (5) is a tough little girl. She's the kind of kid that wants to teach everyone else how to do things right. She will take other kids under her wing, so to speak, so they don't get into trouble. She is very helpful and very observant and has an amazing memory, as well as an active imagination. However, she is also very stubborn and strong-willed. She is relatively fearless. She is a leader, but she also likes to fit in. For her, I focus on remember to be true to herself and remembering to think about her actions instead of just reacting or copying others.

My younger son (1) is just a jolly little kid, always happy, and always exploring. I think he may also be an empath, yet he is also strong-willed and fearless. I think he will be the peacemaker of the family.

So, research is irrelevant. My kids are my kids, and that's it.

Interesting topic, NoRegretsEver!