Have you ever been able to not stop thinking about someone?

reply to post by MbretM

I have experienced this a couple of times. I can only speculate about why it happens. While I tend to see it from a biological or evolutionary perspective, others might argue that it is spiritual or possibly even a form of madness. It's up for you to decide, really. One relevant quote from Spider-Man 2 comes to mind though (yet again):

Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside, it could make you sick.

Based on my life experiences, I would suggest that you make your feelings known to the lady. I have only done this twice before, but both times everything went better than expected and I gained some relief. Each time it felt like I had released something that had been festering within forever. Do what you think is best with this advice, and I hope that whatever course of action you take benefits you.

reply to post by biggmoneyme


You made me chuckle...by the way this is the sweetest thread...To the young man that posted originally...Its mother natures way to make darn certain that our species continues...

I Got To Get This Out

So... This is hard to explain, and confusing too... Also, before I begin, I want to say, that this may come off a little crazy, I understand that, but... Here goes....

At this time in my life, I was attending a community college in my area with a scholarship from the college choir, and using grant money to attend. I was in my first serious relationship with a girl, I'll name her Kate, for this post. Me and Kate were doing pretty good at the time, I had bought her, and myself promise rings, anyway. In my choir class, I had noticed this amazingly beautiful girl, that would sit in the back, I'll call her, Cyan. For weeks, I would observe her from the corner of my eye, and admire her, but being in a serious relationship, and being the faithful person I am, I never talked to her, or anything like that. From analyzing her, I could tell she didn't sleep well, or not much at all. She had O.C.D., not bad, but enough you could tell. I could also tell she had anxiety, pretty bad, and she was the shy type, but I could tell there was an amazing person under that beautiful skin. I had lost interest in Kate, and wanted to be with Cyan instead, because just knowing I was about to go to choir each day, and get to see Cyan, I got butterflies in my stomach. It wasn't just that I was attracted to her, it had to be something more. I've felt attraction before, but never like this. It was like, an intense energy, resonating from her, that I felt, just by being in the same room with her. Anyway, since me, and Kate had promise rings, I didn't want to break up with her, and break that promise, instead, I began hoping she would be the one to break up with me. I waited it out, and sure enough, that day came. Oh how foolish was I. Even though I had been wanting this to happen, Kate break up with me, I had no clue of the pain I was about to experience. At this point, I had dropped from college due to family stress, and other reasons, and was working at a sub shop in my town. The pain was so intense for the first two months or so, that I constantly considered suicide, but realized I would never actually do it, because that's just the type of person I am, and know I would never go through with it, but my brain was always visualizing it, with anything I saw, all through out the day. I was plagued with the worst physical pain I had ever experienced, and was plagued with constant suicidal thoughts. Three months past, and I decided to find Cyan on Facebook. I did, and from there, would talk with her for the next two and a half years or so. Cyan grew to be my best friend. I could tell her anything, and she was so much like me, in ways of how we thought, it was amazing. She would always make excuses why she couldn't hang out with me, but would always tell me she wanted to. I fell in love with Cyan, but.. she was always in an on, and off relationship with her high school sweet-heart. At times, we would stop talking (texting) for a while, but would always find ourselves back at it, texting that is. At one point, I moved in with a friend, and it was just me and him living in a trailer. Me and Cyan weren't talking at the time, and my vehicle had just been totaled, so I was out of a vehicle, luckily, I was only about three miles from work, so I would just walk to work everyday. I was off this day, and decided to walk to the gas station, when I got there, and was inside, I heard a voice from the counter, and as i turned to look, I saw the backside of Cyan, and knew immediately that it was her from the deep, and strong gut feeling that was dwelling inside of me. I watched her walk out to her car, and when she turned, I was amazed to see, that it was her. I went up, and talked to her, and she gave me a ride back to my place, I invited her to come over that night, or the night after, I don't remember, not knowing she was back with her high school sweet-heart at the time. She spent the night with me when she came back. I really didn't have anything, but a mattress on the floor in my room, so of course we had sex, about three times that night. The first time I ever made love. It felt like our spirits were swirling in the sky, and we had many moments when we just gazed into each others eyes. The next morning, we were waken by her cell phone. It was the guy calling. He was yelling from the other side, demanding to know where she was, etc. Leaving in a hurry, she left her necklace. When she came back to get it on a separate day, I got her again xP, and I have the necklace to this day. That was the last time I saw Cyan, but I still think about her any time I end up watching some love movie, and random things remind me of her. Though I only hung out with her twice outside of college, I still have a huge empty void in my heart still waiting for her to fill. She is with that guy, and he blocked me from Facebook, and imposes as her when I text, so i can't talk to her. I just wonder. Will I ever feel that again????????