Deeper Lesson, at both "Reaction" and "Fear"

There is a wise saying. "A warrior acts, a fool reacts".


When I think about the word reaction, and what it means to be a fool. My mind wanders towards the past, when I reacted to certain situations that had I ignored instead, I would have averted many headaches. When you think deeper, nearly every moment we get in trouble and step into depression, was actually because we reacted to them.

There is another saying, and please excuse my language on the following: "To simply not give a # what other people think." A few years ago, I adopted this phrase, and I seemed invincible. Everything slid past me as if it was water, and I simply laughed at anything that happened, yes even the most horrifying of tragedies. I had lost my sense of moral, as I became a troll. Everything seemed perfect, I even had a small fan-base back when I used to moderate groups at a website called vampirefreaks.

But there was a problem, I had closed my heart in the process, I may have not felt pain, but my heart went numb. It was then, that I realized, that I have been hiding all along, and that I had been living a lie, however: I wanted to combine what I learned through that experience, and attempt to open my heart. To my surprise many turned their backs on me because I all of a sudden went "soft". While it was difficult, I still kept going

Why did this prove difficult for me? Because I feared love. To me back then, the definition meant to grant someone else power over you. It is because when you surrender your heart to that person, that is when you are most vulnerable, and it implants you with an inescapable fear. This was and has always been my weakness, My fear to love, or to say "I love you" especially to that special someone.

This past year I met who I thought was my twin flame, that is a long story in itself. Goes back to when I was 17 years old and dreamed of this girl with green eyes. What was odd about this girl, was that when ever we talked, we would experience synchronizes to the max. At times we would think or say the same things to each other at exactly the same time. Our intuition would skyrocket off the roof, as we both researched similar things. This happened mostly when ever we would get along.(There were much much much more weird things, but I am not here to talk about that.) Now keep in mind, I was still semi agnostic, I was also in search for god which has been my lifelong ambition, due to another fear I had. Which was the fear of death. This was the fear I wanted to conquer, and even pondered at the thought of immortality. But Immortality itself gave me extreme fear as one day, I began to think about what it would be like to not die, and end up floating in space after the planet blew up and drift endlessly into the darkness of space, all alone unable to die.

It was then when I realized that death and immortality was one and the same, as they both represent infinity. But this girl gave me comfort in way I could never imagine, but I also feared her. And it was my own fear that caused be to have a battle within me as I felt a profound love inside me that I had never felt ever in my life, and I admit I wanted to run away from it. Sometimes I did, and tried to hide by giving some excuses, but I always came back and said "Here I am",

She herself would feel my fear, and she was unto me in quite a few things. My own fear would cause her to react and push me aside, this would cause me to react and feel pain after.(Which was the worse pain I had ever experienced btw) At times she would disappear and ignore me for weeks. But I also realized that, she too feared the love I felt for her. And I got implanted by even more fear, fear that she would abandon me. Before she erased me from her life indefinitely, she had given the friendship another chance. This time I vowed to get rid of the fear I had implanted in her, and tried to pull off a scheme and take back the words I once told her "I love you".

Why? because she began to fear my feelings, and I really wanted to keep her in my life just for friendship.She had made me a believer once more in the divine, and had taken away from me a deep fear. Even though she wasn't my twin, we were still connected through a possible past life. But Once again I had reacted to her fear, which blew things out of proportion. Everything went into chaos. as misunderstandings occurred that lead into more misunderstanding that implanted great fear in both of us. I lost her friendship, she never knowing the truth nor my intents. All because I reacted to her actions which was the result of my own fear.

I speak these words, not to rant, but rather hope to hand over a lesson, that caused me a great deal of pain and headaches to be able to learn. I cannot regret the past either, because if it wasn't through that, I would have never learned the lesson.

When you think about our reaction to fear, Reaction and fear, both go hand to hand. That eventually evolves into ego which gets us into a never ending loop, unable to get out unless we become aware of it..

The following graph is but one of many examples. Fear--> Reaction---> consequence--->Result.



When you ponder at it further, it all comes down to the following phrase:

"stop reacting out of fear and start acting out of love, ."

-Risen

reply to post by RisenAngel77


"It is because when you surrender your heart to that person, that is when you are most vulnerable, and it implants you with an inescapable fear."

In my opinion you should never have to surrender your love or surrender to love. Love given unconditionally has no expectations on it. You are giving in the most purest sense.

"I was also in search for god which has been my lifelong ambition, due to another fear I had. Which was the fear of death."

I struggled with death for a time until I realized that the end of this existence, this life however you want to put it is going to come to an end no matter how much I worried. I dream every night. Sometimes I have good dreams and sometimes I have bad ones but I rarely dread or fear going to sleep. I accept my mortality in this life and in doing so I have learned to make the best of the time I have here. My fear was replaced by a deep appreciation for what I have.

"She had made me a believer once more in the divine, and had taken away from me a deep fear."

She May have given you her perspective and then you formed a new belief in the divine. Again she shared with you her experience and you took from that what you needed to overcome your fear. So together in open honest sharing of knowledge you were able to conquer your fear.

"stop reacting out of fear and start acting out of love, ."

This is so true! Sending out a good vibe!

It does sound like quite a hard lesson you had there, thank you for sharing it. Fear is a very powerful and primitive emotion, it may not feel good but it has kept us alive at times. It can also be quite a stupid reaction as potential risks and threats surface, saturating the body in adrenalin and making it hard to think and reason a better way out. Exposing yourself to fearful situations with a desire to tame it can help. It does take practice especially when it can hit quite strong. It is important to listen to what the fear is telling you in trying to reason with it.

reply to post by RisenAngel77


Enjoyed that thanks Angel.

I too shut down my heart chakra for a few years without really knowing it. The love I was expressing had become a purely intellectual affair - not the real thing.

Regarding the other topics you raised, I think the trick is to let go and trust in the process, don't fight the flow. Get in touch with your intuition and honour it 100% no matter where it directs you. The ego and the socially conditioned mind are obstacles to true Joy and Bliss - and allowing spirit to express itself in this Earth realm.

* LOVE and LIGHT *

Glad you guys liked the post. Was thinking heavily the other day and came to this realization.

I wish more people came to the same conclusion as I have.

There is also this video I watched the other day which gave a clue on how to counter the effects.

I like your thread

I used to think that I over analysed every thing, was even told by my partner/husband quite a few times that indeed I do.
But I couldn't help it. I have been doing it since....I can't actually remember, very very young.
I felt out of place my entire life and had no idea why.
I didn't feel right reacting to things I didn't understand in the first instance (knee jerk).
I would not react and then be consumed with the (sometimes) most puerile of situations (simply because I didn't react), and it would hound my sleep and affect my person until I had figured out,' the why'...?
But they had affected me, so I had to 'digest' it, sometimes this could take a couple of nights (this was the alone time)
It was almost a compulsion to make sense of the 'thing'.

Sometimes it sucked to be different, other times I didn't envy others at all.

It feels like things have become simpler...somehow less complicated, but more also.

Then I find ats and find also, that I am not the only one. It is impossible to be unique and impossible not to be....

funny 'ole freakin' world we live in....

sorry if this didn't fit what so ever with your thread,

It's nice to know others do the same thing...still