Weight loss, weight management and dieting.

I am a 26 year old woman (birthday last week! Whee!), and for the last (almost) four years, I have been trying to lose weight, only to see my weight rapidly increase.

PLEASE please bare with this post. I am at my wits end, and could really do with some advice or help or anything!

I'm going to be candid. Shortly after my son was born, my cycle stopped. It had never been spot on any way, so more than anything I wasn't bothered. I wasn't the best eater. I suffered severely with depression (I never left the house because I didn't want anyone to see me (I was being bullied as an adult and I found it very humiliating).
When my son was about 8 months old, I weighed myself and found I was just shy of 190 lbs. I've always been slim, and was nestled in comfortably at around 135 for pretty much most of my adult life. I'd been homeless which helped contribute to my weight management to a degree since I couldn't afford to eat and I was too scared of spending my money on food in case I needed it for something else.

I was shocked at how much weight I had put on AFTER the birth of my son, and stupidly sought out 'quick fixes', diet pills, even frequented pro-anorexia sites, hoping that I could learn how to discipline myself like those poor people, I tried throwing up after meals, calorie cutting and calorie counting, I exercised almost non-stop. I quit college because I was more concerned about losing weight than I was learning a trade.

By the time I hit about 200lbs, I went to the doctor and said I wanted help with my weight. He said he would refer me to a dietician, and never did. My cycle was still absent, and I went back to see a different doctor, and explained the absence, how cysts and fibroids run in the family, how all the women in my family have had total hysterectomies (the removal of the ovaries and the womb) at around 40 years old.
I had some blood tests and when I rang for the results, they were apparently all normal.
I didn't bother to pursue it again, until a couple of months later where my weight was still creeping up despite the extra lengths I was going to. I reduced myself to a low fat, low calorie, low salt, sugar and carbohydrate diet. This made me miserable as my life had been reduced to bland colourless and flavourless food.
I went back to the doctor and asked about having more tests done. The doctor told me that he could refer me to a consultant at the hospital, but there wasn't one to refer me to. I walked out empty handed.
I went back again, and I saw another doctor and asked again. This doctor told me that there was a specialist I could be referred to, but they wouldn't because they didn't think there was anything wrong with me, and that he thought I was eating too much and doing too little. Angry, and humiliated, I walked out again.
Finally I thought I would ask once more, and saw yet another doctor. I got sent for more blood results, and again I was told they were normal, and that I would receive no help about my weight issues.

Finally, I made a complaint to the local patient advise liaison regarding my issues. They contacted the surgery practise manager on my behalf, who then informed me that at the surgery itself there was a doctor who specialised in womens bits and that she would set me up and appointment to see her ASAP due to the fact that my cycle had been absent for more than two years by this point.

When the doctor rang me to arrange an appointment, she scolded me and asked why I hadn't been to see her in the first place about it. Had I known there was an experienced doctor there, I certainly wouldn't have wasted my time with the other doctors!
After doing yet more tests, she discovers I have low levels of cortisol, and finally refers me to the hospital, which is a rush job since absent periods can lead to osteoporosis and other bone disorders.

The endocrinology consultant I saw finds that these tests I had in the past had in fact shown elevated levels of certain hormones and sends me off to do them all again. And I also needed an abdominal scan to see whether my ovaries are healthy or whether they have cysts or not.

The scan DID show cysts, but the blood results have all come back normal.

Back in December, I joined a gym, I go three to five times a week focussing on high intensity cardio exercise, with a mixture of core and muscle conditioning. My diet is pretty good, I home cook all my own food from scratch from fresh ingredients.
My doctor recommended I do not eat carbs after 5pm, but has offered no other help to me.
When I saw the specialist last, I had lost a kilo over the last 6 months.

So what now? That is my problem in a nutshell. No-one seems to know what to say to me, or how to help me.
I've taken to just having to help myself, though the results are (from what I can tell) either very slow going or non-existant.

I am absolutely gutted as this has ruined me as a person. I hate going out with friends now since no-one really speaks to me, I sit ignored, or I'm the 'bag lady' while the rest of my friends are lavished with attention by everyone else. I just don't know what else to do.
So many times I have felt like giving up with the whole thing, but then I realise that despite having no outward physical benefits, my arthritis has practically disappeared, I have more stamina, I get less headaches, I can walk without feeling like my legs are seizing up, I no longer am afflicted with shin splints.
But I could really do without the risk of diabetes or heart disease.

Why does the NHS complain that people with diabetes and heart disease costs them something like a billion pounds a year, but they won't help someone (and I'm not talking gastric banding or surgery) to prevent developing these diseases?
Surely it would be more cost effective to help those who ask for it, prevent the diseases from developing, then they won't be dependant on costly diabetes and heart medication for the rest of their lives? I don't understand it.

ETA: I've been loathe to post this for about a year now, obviously you've only got my word that I am trying as hard as I am, but this is a large forum, and I figure someone out there must have some ideas.

Also, it's kinda funny, yes I am a bigger woman now, but when people ask me what I enjoy doing, and I answer with "The gym" they either mistake me for thinking I said "Gin" or just looking at me in a way as if they don't believe me.


I should probably add that I have also tried fasting. The thread over on the On Topic side is what kicked off this thread. I have a four year old son, and fasting makes me very headachey, irritable, shaky and nauseous. I know that these is a reaction to the toxins being cleansed from the body, but I find that I'd much rather not take my grumps out on him.

Gaining weight is easy.
Losing it is hard.

You face an uphill battle.
And getting to your goal weight is going to take time.
You will probably be at this for the next year. Yes I said year.

You just have to keep at it.
Eat right. Portion control and exercise.
There's plenty of places online that can help you manage your eating.

Don't despair if you see that you aren't losing weight.
From my experience women lose inches from their waist more than they do weight.
So don't use the scale more than once a week.

Just keep at it.
Start a blog to keep track of your weight loss.

Good luck

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


You say you eat healthy, home cooking mostly. I don't believe you mentioned what types of foods or what combinations, like how much protein vs. carbs etc. I was just wondering that and if you have tried the calorie counting thing... I assume you probably have since it sounds like you have been pretty thorough. I would just like to hear more detail on your diet, don't know if I can offer anything or not, but I will if I can.

Oh, and I guess you've had your thyroid checked??

reply to post by grey580


One year, two years, I'm not looking for the 'quick fix' anymore, I've been going through the motions of losing weight for the last two or three years already and stepped it up further with joining the gym in December. I carry most of my weight around my middle, and have seen no reduction in inches in the last 6 months, though I have seen no increase either.

Portion control and exercise are two very old friends of mine lol, hence the visits to the doctor. These are usually enough for anyone to lose weight.

Thanks for your good wishes though, I'm not sure that there is anything I could be doing now that I'm not already.

reply to post by wtbengineer


Well for a start, I don't eat eggs ie scrambled, fried etc, or fish of any variety. And I don't eat red meat very often at all. I eat chicken however (usually oven cooked) and various multitudes of vegetables, pulses. When I make a meal, it's usually a quarter of the plate being the 'main' dish, whatever that might be, and the rest is made up of either salad, or steamed vegetables.
My main snacks are fruit. Bananas, apples, cherries, strawberries, blueberries, oranges. Usually after a class at the gym, I come home to a small bowl of a mixed fruit salad with a large spoon of greek yoghurt over the top. I'm a little bit lactose intolerant and I find I don't get cramps from greek as I do anything else.
I'm also a fan of meat alternatives, like soy or Quorn, TVP or tofu.
I do take vitamin supplements from time to time, but I'm also sensitive to them, they tend to make me quite sick.

Yeah I've had my thyroid checked, I've had pretty much every test they could think of. The last one they're sending me to before they finally palm me off to someone else (again) is a 24 hour urine collection test. Not even sure what they're expecting to find, the notes don't say so I think this is really a last ditch attempt to find out what the heck is up.

I understand where you're coming from. I was one of those skinny-minnies most of my life, but after I got a complete hysterectomy, I became a different person metabolically.

Exercise is great, but it is not always useful for weight loss in and of itself. I tried the high carb, low fat diet, combined with massive amounts of exercise (weights and 5 mile fast walks), and the most I lost was 18 pounds.

Low fat, high carb diets always left me starving. I measured my food, counted every calorie, and all my body did was adjust to it and refuse to drop the weight like I wanted.

I have much better luck with a low to no carb, as much fat and protein as I want diet. These diets are anorectic (meaning, after a while, your hunger pangs go away and you're not feeling starved all the time). At first it's hard, because I love bread, noodles, etc....all carbs, actually. But after a while, you notice that your body has to burn it's own fat first, and the scale will show the pounds coming off, so you will stick with it, because if you cheat on this diet, your weight will come back with a vengeance.

I think the idea that eating animal fat is bad for a person is a load of bull. Basically, I eat a version of the "paleo diet". I eat meats, dairy (just not milk, too many carbs in it), eggs, nuts, and vegetables. Once in a while, I allow myself a day where I eat whatever I want, and then get right back on my diet. I really don't feel deprived, and the weight is coming off. I also noticed that the stomach bloat is gone, which I attribute to eating grains.

When your metabolism is "stuck", this is the diet to be on. Most diets fail because people feel too hungry so they cheat on it. With this diet, you will lose the munchies within a few days, so it is easy to stay on it.

lowcarbdiets.about.com...

Please note that people will crow about "high cholesterol" with this diet. Cholesterol has NEVER been directly correlated with heart disease. newsroom.ucla.edu...

Note that in the above link, 75% of people in the hospital for heart attacks have NORMAL cholesterol. Our bodies need cholesterol in order to make vitamin D, which helps our immune system. It also makes neurotransmitters to help our brains function better. I believe the public brainwashing about cholesterol has more to do with eugenics than with true health.

Do the research, and learn why more people than ever are obese nowadays. It isn't that we are fast food pigs, it is that we have been duped into believing false nutritional advice.

Good luck!

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


Wow, I can't think of anything to explain why you wouldn't be dropping the pounds like crazy. I certainly hope someone figures this out for you soon!

reply to post by wtbengineer


Me too! I know it sounds like it would be so easy to just say I was doing the best I am, and really sitting on my butt, while I pig out and play video games, but honestly, this is becoming a pressing issue for me.
Currently my family is going to get no larger. I would have liked another child by the time I was 27, and somehow I don't think I'm going to be having any more full stop.

Some personal questions:

1. Are you dark haired and have a dark comlexion? I don't mean African-American, but more along the lines of olive skin.

2. Do you have extra body hair in unfeminine places, such as your chin? These hairs will be dark.

3. You mentioned it had been two years since your cycle. Previous to giving birth, was your cycle regular or irregular?
.
4. You mentioned ovarian cysts, which are very painful. Have you often experienced this type of pain?

The reason I'm asking all these questions is because you sound a lot like me. I, too, struggle daily with my weight and it has NOTHING to do with diet or exercise. I do one hour of cardio 3 times a week with strength resistance training included. The other days I walk with my family For meals I fix only fresh veggies and fruit with lean meats (mainly chicken and fish). The portions are controlled and currently the caloric intake is around 1200.

Anyway, it turns out I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, and the symptoms are the questions I mentioned above. Basically, in POS (or polycystic ovarian disease, POD) the body produces more testosterone than typically found in a female. This excess of testosterone causes all sorts of problems, including the unwanted hair and weight gain. It also makes losing weight a near impossibility.

Some doctors are now treating POS by prescribing glucophage. This medication is normally used to treat non-insulin dependent diabetes. I've used the glucophage and it does help with the weight loss.

If these symptoms sound familiar, you may have POS. If so, talk to your doctor about glucophage or other treatments. POS is not curable; but it is treatable.

You are not alone, my friend. Just know your worth is not measured by your physical perfections.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Thanks, I've been medically poked and prodded and bled and scanned for PCOS for the last year or so now.
My blood work has all come back normal. The endocrinologist says they usually diagnose PCOS with a hormone profile, testosterone levels, insulin resistance, LH etc, and this is the main thing they look for, because cysts on the ovaries aren't always caused by hormonal imbalances.
I'm being referred to a gynaecologist now and we'll see whether they can figure anything else out on that side.

The endo refused to give me glucophage/metformin because I don't have diabetes, and would have given it to me had I had PCOS but because by their definition I DON'T, they won't help me.

Despite having every physical symptom of PCOS, I don't have it because my hormones are apparently not imbalanced.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


My obgyn diagnosed me without the blood work, just based on the symptoms. Glucophage did wonders for me.
I hope you find your answers. If ever you want to talk....just message me. Sometimes venting to a stranger is very helpful.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


Don't give up the exercising whatever you do. If you had not been engaging in an exercising routine chances are you could very well be 20-30 lbs, heavier than you are now. Just as important a good exercise regimen has many more benefits to your overall health than weight loss.

Losing weight is very hard. You are still very young so do not give up hope. Shoot for just 1 lb. a month. The tortoise wins this race. I am slowly losing mine but I have a long way to go. I used to be in great shape until I hit the magical age of 40 then I just started adding pounds...over 40 in less than 2 years to be exact.

reply to post by Classified Info


I will never give the exercise up, I love it too much. However, with the amount that I do, even the doctors seem confused as to why I haven't lost any weight. I can lose about 8lbs successfully, and then it all goes back on again, very frustrating.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


It is very frustrating. I have been on a cutting diet for a month now, and the scale says I have lost about 6 lbs. I've also been working out very hard and am sure I have put on significant muscle overall, and I run 2.5-3 miles a day, every day. I'm 53 and in pretty good shape, but there is this little bit around the middle that seems to refuse to go... Oh, I forgot to mention that I take in only about 1400 calories a day with almost no carbs, lots of veggies, fish, etc.

I weigh right around 190 right now and am 5'10" tall and muscular and I don't mean to sound whiny or anything, I know my situation is not like many who are having trouble getting to a weight that would make them more healthy. I just want to point out how difficult it can be to lose even a few pounds and even with extreme measures and no cheating on the diet.