Survivalism as insanity.

reply to post by sleepdealer


It is true. Because it is the only way me, and people like me in my vicinity will ever have the chance to live a full life. I worry not. I just wish the system to end.
If it won't I will write. If that makes me able to live, then fine, if not I'll die hungry.
If it weren't for her(and somehow I didn't see the pointlessness of my existence which would possibly result in a mental breakdown and suicide) then I'd kickstart a revolution. Incite people to see the truth, and steer them towards a fight for freedom. Then I wouldn't consider my life as a priority, rather I would do anything to overthrow the system. Thing is, I am awfully good at this kind of thing. I make very good speeches if I can find the right kind of group. I don't believe in war, or any kind of bloody conflicts, but then I probably would be too clouded in my judgement to see through my anger towards the top of the pyramid.

Since she's here, my priority is to defend her from any harm, and because of her, I gave up my dreams of my self created rebellion against the man. Plus I also realized that this kind of open war would be steered towards meeting their own ends. My defiance would also fuel their machine. I gave up on that some time ago.

Yes, the world is a beautiful place, with many wonders, and all that. I truly love it. Still, setting aside my negative views, I still see the system as corrupt to the extent of unbearableness. Something I devour harder and harder every single day.

Probably, if I wasn't here, but in an other country with possibilities to live in the grid as a man(not a rat, living from a day to another) I wouldn't see things this way. Still, sooner or later, my denial towards the system would surface, and then again, I would be unable to bear the immorality of it all, but it would have come later.
But the maximum is only some years. Perhaps my satiation would occupy me from seeing the world for what it is, but I think it would come sooner or later.

What angers me most, is despite my mental capabilities, and the quality of my works in literature, in this caste system, I am not much better than a mere lowlife, who, because of his financial status, can never achieve anything real. This system, is deliberately designed to keep people in their original status.
If I even wanted to publish a book, I would have to raise money, I would have to work for at least four years without spending anything of it. This is a local problem, I believe, but the immorality of the system is global.

reply to post by Narcissous


It may be true, but sometimes our convictions become directly proportional to our despair or desire to escape. Writing-- there's great potential there, you could change the way the entire world views civilization. As for getting there, are you completely against pursuing higher education? I would not blame you if you were, but it is a good way of gaining access to things which seem to be set aside for the privileged.

Originally posted by Narcissous
reply to post by loveguy

 

Great quote.
What compare this to, is science. Science originally was the other way(the non religious) which strived to understand the world through empiric understanding. Nowadays it is a most rigid system, alike to christianity. Money keeps it going, and they refuse to accept anything that contradicts their base theories for it would be very counterproductive to admit that 'everything we thought was wrong!' I was all for science until I have seen it with my own eyes. The way of burying contradicting evidence for the sake of the machine. Just like the Catholic Church.
I support scientific understanding, but as much as in anything else, the so called 'mainstream' science is now my enemy.
Just like wikipedia. I worshipped that. Until I have realized that they(unlike their claim) don't seek the truth, but rather the accepted consensus of what most people think is true.
The infamous moment the man turned his face away from the last-thought bastion of free thinking.
They too will do anything to serve those on the throne, and unfortunately, this was a very dark day for me.
Those were the days 'when I finally saw: Everything I thought was wrong.'
At least I admitted and immediately(after gathering my pieces) started looking for the absolute truth.
Speaking of terrifying...

Yep,
Professional researchers (our source for information) are granted permission to research things. These grants come in the form of money.

If the research one is doing or wanting to conduct is not permissible, then they don't get the grant and have to go against the grain.

I don't think you should bounce. Those ingrates are going to need you.
Just take up a side hobby and share that with your loved ones while maintaining intel and keep that for the ears who hear.

reply to post by Narcissous


If you think that things are going to be any easier dealing with a boss , a job and providing yourself shelter , food and medical , it's not . There are problems every where you go . There is an old saying ; No matter where you go there you are . And so are those same problems that haunts you , YOU.

reply to post by SimonPeter


I disagree. Sometimes you're simply surrounded by idiots and the sanest thing you can do is move away from them. Infinite patience and perfect calm no matter your circumstances are of course desirable but if your circumstances are affecting your development/sanity, the wisest thing to do is move on.

reply to post by sleepdealer


Changing things with writing is a great dream, however when you know that less than three percent of people read, well it kind of seems like a stump. especially when your only way of publishing is paying the whole price of publishment to the company along with your book. I have no three millions to pay to do this. even more disgusting is the fact that my whole array of items, I could sell don't amount this much. I could not publish a book with selling my everything.

Plus I am the kind of man who educates himself. I read at least three books parallel at all times(good thing is variety). I know at least as much about plant biology and gardening as my friend who went to this kind of a high school. This is because I read the same exact books he did, but for fun, rather than for work.
Plus, to me it seems that teachers who face a student with more skill of the given subject than the teacher him/herself, their authority complex kind of kicks in(given the fact that a man around here, becomes a teacher when he/she fails on the given way of life=biology teachers are mostly failed biology scholars and scientists.)
I read all my day. It is my enjoyment to amass knowledge, information from everything. When I do it for fun, it is a good thing. When they force me, I kind of go down. Plus monotonity is something I can't stand with a sane mind.
To this day, I have been in school for twelve years, and it was too much for me. I am not only tired. I have psychosomatic stomachache from the thought of school. I can't sleep either when I'm in school(I work only properly if I'm awake at night and sleep at day)
I did, then I have tried, then I even forced myself. It took a serious toll on my health.
I don't need a degree to run a hydrophonics garden. It is my passion. And when they force my passion, it becomes a burden.
I never gave much credit for this indigo child kind of thing, but I seem to tolerate things harder than most. Especially this prussian way of education. It is way too old and rigorous for me. Especially when a devout christian(my latest literature teacher. worth noting I am an atheist) who has never ever in his life wrote anything, tries to tell me how to write. I can bear other faiths, but false authority is my bane.
My latest assignment was to read a book and write an essay on it, and I basically wrote that this book is like a ball. well rounded, but kind of becomes boring after ten minutes. Then I went on describing various aspects I found irritating, the lack of any artistic value.
I though he will honour my honesty or at least, my good sight and judgement. Instead, he started cursing me.
I don't say that was it, but rather, the last drop in the cup already filled with people like him all through more than a decade.

reply to post by loveguy


There are not much ears to hear me though. One, to be exact. Perhaps it is because I feel fine alone, with a few books. Perhaps because my views go against basically everybody's, and the method for freeing up their minds to it is a very long and hard thing to do.
I am basically fighting a very uphill battle against the indoctrination of television and mainstream everything.
In network, people listened to Howard Beale. I just imagined(even if not that much) people will listen to me too.
Perhaps I would have more audience in a country with more free thinkers. Here, if I speak up, I will soon face pitchforks and burning torches. People hate to give up their previous way of thinking, and seem to be very aggressive in defending it.
Plus our government is the kind which does not have trouble with ruining the lives of those who oppose.
I have a lot of stories how the cousin of someone who spoke up, lost his permit to teach in an university.
I believe it is called guilt by association. They love it.

The general public is in a trance. They just come home from work, don't even talk to their kids, plop themselves down in front of the idiot box and let the corporations set the agenda in their lives. Why do people even watch the news? All the MSM ever talks about are the things that separate us, race religion income sexuality ideology social status everything to constantly keep us fighting amongst one another.

reply to post by Narcissous


honestly, don't. It is a choice. You can be there for them if they choose to wake up. You need to accept the fact that hard choices will have to be made if you are to survive( if anything happens)

They are adults and have had all the same opportunities to see the world as it is that you have. They chose to play their hand as is. That is their choice. Respect it.

I wouldn't take any crap from them though. You are a grown ass man. Your mum should respect you the same way she would a perfect stranger. If they want a relationship with you it must be on mutually respected terms. None of that "you are strange" crap.

Love me or leave me. I will not change for you. That should be your message. You shouldn't worry about waking anyone up. I have learned that the best thing you can do is awaken yourself and offer to those that WANT to be awakened. Other than that, we all sleep in the bed we make.

it will be hard should things go sour, but if you want to survive, you have to consider leaving them. Hard I know. Short of a child you are a parent to, I would consider leaving even family if they chose to die. I will not lay down and die.
It is a personal choice, unless they choose, you are wasting your time. Most will not make it, IMO.

reply to post by Konduit


Right-right!
I am a man of curiousity. I took a lot of my time to try to understand this so called 'trance'. How it works, how it comes to be, and how it can be lifted.
Psyhchiologically I know this and that, but I would need expensive medical devices(and people who care to learn to read them, afterall, I am just one who writes(who dares to call him/herself a writer?))
What I managed to put together is that this trance, maybe just defense of the ego. They refuse to understand that everything they know is wrong, because what they know, they've heard all their lives. Realizing that this world is but a shroud, is a rather painful thing to experience. Instead, they defend it how they can.

BUT what is a little bit extraordinary, is the way they defend it. I tried to lift it up on quite a few people(I really don't give a damn about what they think 'bout me.) not all of it in one second, just slowly building it up. Each and every one of them used the very same sentences, they started behaving just the very same. After a while, they became kind of aggressive, like they are losing the last pieces of their mind. The first few times, it was kind of scary. Started shouting, throwing stuff, cursing, and accusing.

Talk about Zombies! These people are not just vain, but hypnotized in the verbal meaning of the word. What I am curious about is, how the hell is this possible? I wasn't put in a trance if I remember. I didn't watch tv at all, since I was a very little child(very long before I started opening my eyes.) For me, this whole procedure(awakening, as I like to call it) wasn't that hard. I spent all my life reading and learning, and I always felt that something is very wrong with this world. After all, we have the technology and the know-how to create the Earthly paradise. Anyway.

What is evident of hypnotism, is that the patient must be willing to set him/herself under this procedure. Thus it can only be the tally. They sit in front of it every day, willfully.

Funny thing, it is the very same reaction when you try to strain their nerves too much with the truth and they become aggressive, when you try to take away the tube from them. They become aggressive, they start to shake, go round in circles, claim that it is important to watch this or that...etc. I have seen drug addicts(quite a few of them.) It is the exact same thing.

I just can't understand how people don't see it on themselves. Anyway. Sorry for long reply, I just find this thing fascinating.

reply to post by BIHOTZ


You are right.
There are people who matter more in my eyes, and are willing to come too, if things start correcting themselves(I still believe SHTF will be the opportunity for the worthy to build a life, without this slavery # I, personally, am so fed up with).

Afterall, almost two decades of abusement is not something that needs to be paid back by risking your life for a bunch of MSM-people, who care not to listen to reason. I just wanted to give them a hand. They refused, and now I can leave them without hard feelings. It is not my safety I worry about, but the people who choose to take the way I do, they are much better and kinder people, worthy of escaping this, and living a life out of this mess.
I manage at all times. In fact, living in the woods in tents, and eating what you can find and pierce with your crossbow, growing your own food, is kind of the way I like life. Where no one tells me what I must and must not do. Not at all the cultivating or the hunting part, but when the ruling power forbids me of doing something I wish to, without hurting anyone, or standing in the way of other things, I kind of become fed up.

Anyway. Just a few days ago, my mother kind of tried to say something hurtful, and I said: It depends on me whether you will know of my grandchildren or not, and since I am your only kid, I am your only chance of ever having them. Which is not true, of course she will not know of them. She is an unstable psychopath unable to differ his ex husband and own child. I know what the influence is like of this kind of person, and thanks, no. I am not the kind of person to suffer my children with the same fate I did.

I have no children yet(fortunately). That would indeed make things a little bit hard.

As for the time wasting part, I know, no matter your reasons, evidences and knowledge, you can't convince a person to act against their nature(which is imposed upon them by the masters).

My mother even said that in case of the world falls apart, it is best to go down with it, because without the system, life is meaningless. I don't remember the exact words, but it was kind of shocking to hear this from a human. This isn't human, this is cattle.
The second worst thing was: 'If they wish to kill us, they will do anyway, best to wait them where you are'
How can somebody have an attitude of this? This is madness! Even if I know I will die, I wish to make it difficult for them. I will hold on to whatever life I got with my teeth and claws, because any other way is a disgrace for humanity.
I will die, kicking and screaming and cursing, just the way I was born('cept for the cursing part)