How do I deal with this?

Okay so Last year I was depressed because of my disease and I also got bullied. Read the thread here: www.abovetopsecret.com...

I'm always stressed and I can't relax. For example: Right before school I'm always nervous, stressed out and I feel sick. I also find it hard to trust people. I'm always afraid some people from my school are gonna laugh with me/bully me. I'm nervous everytime I have to do something on my own. I don't know why but I hate going through crowded places, it makes me feel uncomfortable and nervous, I can't help it. When I was depressed I kept thinking about suicide all the time. Now that I overcame my depression, I'm quite happy but I 'm still considering it sometimes though. Maybe it's the stress? I don't know. How do you guys deal with stress and what should I do? ):

Well since you are still in school that tells me that you are young.
Feeling this way is normal for a lot of youth.
There isn't a magic trick or pill that will instantly help you, but I can tell you
these feelings will pass as you get older and mature.
Until then, try training your brain to feel at eeeezzzzzz.
Example ; Find a playlist of songs that make you feel good.
Listen to those songs especially when you are in a good mood.
When you are feeling down or stressed put on your headphones and listen to the playlist.
Eventually, it will be like an instant mood boost on the go.

reply to post by Crashyy


You are speaking of anxiety. I have to deal with that too. Not going to tell you what I did to "fix" it. addictions suck too.

practice makes perfect though, so talking about this will help. Maybe you need to make some new friends?

reply to post by Crashyy


Well u can start by cracking a smile....you'd be surprised how this can affect Ur mood ...it helps me

Get comfortable with "yourself", then the rest easily falls into place.

There's a saying I like to retell myself...
"Do the best you can with what you have to work with."

Everyone is or has gone through similar feelings and emotions too, at different times in their lives, so you are not alone and different from everyone else. Take comfort in your security that you are not alone.

It only matters because you let it.
The moment you stop trying so hard, everything happens naturally.
Tell yourself, it doesn't matter what happens, it does not mean anything.
If you are feeling stressed because you are having trouble *Feeling* accepted by others, or you *Feel*, you need their acceptance, STOP IT!!!.
Put your head into a new space, one where acceptance doesn't mean anything, living in this space is much easier, it also means that you are not trying to force anything, you will become more natural.

I had a particular friend years ago, he needed so badly to feel he was constantly "OK" with those around him, the amount of effort he put into doing that used to make him ill, he also did some pretty stupid attention seeking stuff, that he never regarded as being anything else than "Normal".
His sense of Normal, was not normal, it was anything but normal, he grew out of it eventually but he had a miserable ten years.
And for what?. to feel accepted??.
Stupid thing is, he was accepted, it was how he made himself feel that was the problem.

You have to make an internal mental space that is yours, one in which nothing matters, the more time you can spend in this state, the better your life will be.
Spend more time on your own, learn to enjoy being on your own, you will find that those people who are comfortable within themselves, and with their own company, have no difficulties with other people.
People gravitate towards those that seem self assured, you only really have self assurance when you can live in a state of ultimate acceptance of yourself.
If you have a particularly bad day, or, need someone to talk to, PM me, sometimes it is easier to talk to a complete stranger.

reply to post by The X


Thank you, it means alot. When I feel like taking to someone. I'll pm you

reply to post by Crashyy


Focus on doing well in School!! This will be so important in the Future!! Life will change for the better after High School! Youre most important lesson in life is learning how to SURVIVE!! Build a Great Life!! You must create a Foundation!! You can make youre life into whatever you want!! You can become whatever you want! Its a Beautiful World with lots of wonderful people in it! Dont let a few people in High School destroy you!! There is Life after High School..

Think positive!! Try and stay away from negative people. You sound like a really intelligent person!! Try and enjoy something everyday! I had problems in school and so did my children, but life goes on. Please take care of yourself and dont do anything to harm yourself!! Life will get better, just give it a chance-Please!

Take the time and go outside and lay under the Stars!! There is so much out there!! Everyone has a purpose in life!! What do you want to become?? Make it happen!! You are young enough now to become whatever you want to become! Life is worth Living no matter what all of us have to go through sometimes!!

As far as the sickness..what about inner ear problems?? I would also get blood work done to see if there are any problems with lead paint issues..I mean you may have something in youre environment that is making you sick..mold..lead..etc..have you been bitten by any ticks??

Regarding learning Construction..I think there is nothing greater than someone that can build a Home!! Great trade to learn!!

I wish you Happiness and Success!! Amy in NC.

You sound like an introvert. Do you prefer to be alone or with others?

There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. I'm one, and I detest going out in big crowds or to social events, even if I know the folks involved. I find that my anxiety level will keep rising until I get some alone time.

Here's what's helped me over the years. Meditating every morning for at least fifteen minutes.

Stay away from sugar and caffeine, as they can heighten anxiety.

There are lots of quick yoga stretches you can do while at your desk or walking to your next class. These are small things, like rubbing the outer edge of your ears. Do that two or three times, it helps. And many of these little yoga tricks are quite unnoticeable, so folks won't be watching you wondering what you are doing.

Exercise daily, preferably in the sun. If you live in a cloudy climate, get one of those lightbulbs that mimics sunlight. They really help with depression and anxiety.

If you have a hobby, great. If not, look for one. You might enjoy pottery, painting, hiking, or other hobbies that you can do by yourself.

If possible, get a pet cat or dog. They really help with stress.

If it gets worse, talk to your doctor. There are several anti-anxiety meds that might help. Just know some can be addicting, so you have to be disciplined enough to only take it when necessary. There are meds that arent addictive: buspar is a very mild example.

Are you getting enough sleep? That's important, too.

OP, I've been where you are. I'm now 37 years old and I still deal with it. It doesn't go away, but you do learn how to handle things. If you need to talk or want to ask questions, feel free to message me. Just so you know, I once committed myself to a hospital for two weeks bc I was suicidal. That was when I was 24. So I do understand.

Hugs to you. And please contact me if you need to talk.
smylee

reply to post by Apollo7


Thanks soo much!! But I can't become what I want to be. I wanna solve crimes/work for the fbi. Because that would be a dreaming coming through, but I'm 100% sure that'll never happen. Then I'd have to move to America first. :c

I agree with the previous posts. I was bullied a lot at school and dropped out because of it. Its been over 10 years now and all the bullies grew up to be screw ups. I didnt. It makes me smile. I saw one a while back and he tried to bully me lol. I dont care what anyone thinks about me at all, i am everything i want to be.

I also wouldnt post about it here. Hell i had someone here tell me to kill myself the other day wtf? I havent been suicidal in 3 years.

Originally posted by Crashyy
reply to post by Apollo7

 

Thanks soo much!! But I can't become what I want to be. I wanna solve crimes/work for the fbi. Because that would be a dreaming coming through, but I'm 100% sure that'll never happen. Then I'd have to move to America first. :c

Thats one of my dreams too but they spend a lot of time committing crimes too. didnt you hear about the cleveland terrorists a while back? Our government is evil....

Maybe things will change

Originally posted by Crashyy
reply to post by Apollo7

 

Thanks soo much!! But I can't become what I want to be. I wanna solve crimes/work for the fbi. Because that would be a dreaming coming through, but I'm 100% sure that'll never happen. Then I'd have to move to America first. :c

Defeatist attitude.

If you want it, then go get it. It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is. You might make it; you might find something better; or you might fail. But you don't want to be in your 80s wondering "what if..."

I take it from your comment you aren't American. Surely your country has something similar to the FBI? Or there's Interpol....

reply to post by smyleegrl


Wow, I eat and drink loads of stuff that contains sugar, I didn't know they heighten anxiety. And yes, I'd rather be alone then being with others. And I currently don't have a hobby, but I love to edit videos. My computer is getting fixed this week so I can get back to editing :]. And I sleep for about 6 hours every night and I'm 18 I don't know if that's enough sleep? I also have 5 dogs but actually I never play with them. Thank you btw!

reply to post by smyleegrl


The cops in my country really suck. If I would try to solve murders here, I will probably end up controlling the traffic like most cops here.

reply to post by Crashyy


You can work for the FBI- if that is what you want!! Go to their website and check it out!! They have intern programs!! Keep youre grades up in school, and you can become anything you want!! The FBI loves someone that is young and interested in a career with them!! Do well in school..keep a great credit history- this is very important! I bet you are great with computers! E-mail the FBI and ask them what steps you need to take to get in!!

I applied to work for US Customs and Border Patrol in my second year of college. I went through 3 years of background checks, written exams, oral boards, physicals, fitness test, eye exams, credit history issues etc..I had people around me tell me that I would never make it!! I went after what I wanted to do and I got accepted!! I wanted to stop human trafficking and protect our borders. I also wanted to create a group of federal people that do nothing but look for missing persons. Back in Sept-2006 I was accepted to go and work for US Customs and Border Patrol in Piegan, Montana. I was attacked en-route getting there. I was found walking around in shock and had to return to NC. I have been working in the Nursing Field every since. I still continue to work towards my Dream even though it may not happen. I have one more shot at my old job..I will still have to get a age waiver..because I am now 44 and over the age limit..but there are ways around this..I test one last time this month..its now or never!

Dont ever let anyone tell you what you can or cannot become!! You have to go after what you want in life!!

Dont let youre medical issue stop you either..the doctors may be wrong..Take care of yourself!! Be Good to You!! and above all Go After What You Want in Life and dont let anyone hold you back!!

Originally posted by Crashyy
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

Wow, I eat and drink loads of stuff that contains sugar, I didn't know they heighten anxiety. And yes, I'd rather be alone then being with others. And I currently don't have a hobby, but I love to edit videos. My computer is getting fixed this week so I can get back to editing :]. And I sleep for about 6 hours every night and I'm 18 I don't know if that's enough sleep? I also have 5 dogs but actually I never play with them. Thank you btw!

Sleep is an individual thing; some need lots and others need little. Although teens generally sleep longer than 6 hours a night. Do you feel rested when you wake? If so, then you are getting enough sleep.

Glad you enjoy video editing. Have you considered pursuing that as a career?

Any chance you could attend college in the US? That could be a foot in the door for you. Especially if you are multilingual. If you're interested in trying this route I'd be happy to help you do some research. I'm a school teacher on summer break, so I've got some spare time. Just ask!