Hypocrisy - Mainly a much needed vent.

I'm writing this quite positive that nobody will find it interesting enough to comment on or find any real purpose in it. At least everyone that has lived a little bit of life.

I was raised a preachers kid, imagine a mix of pentecostal and charismatic if you know anything about those two. Basically strict to the point that I couldn't listen to secular music, talk to girls on the phone, go to dances, watch "bad" movies, play with certain toys bc they were demonic, etc.... I lived and believed in that life until I was around the age of 17. At that point after going through multiple church splits and being in the church literally at least 3 to sometimes 5 days a week I lost it. When you are a part of a church family and really believe in what the messages preached every Sunday say, it's not easy to have opened up to people you trusted so much only to have them stab you in the back. I found out the hard way that people are people no matter what setting they are in or what church they attend. Everybody is out for themselves in the end and nobody can just live a happy life apart from constant drama. Whether the drama be who is not living "correctly" or who had an unhappy home life it was all the same.

I left for years and pursued a career in music. Still working on that but I make music that's featured on a tv show every week and have also made tracks for commercials and promo videos etc. I also played in a few bands and still do to this day. Never gotten the chance to actually get paperwork drawn up and signed, but have been shopped, and been a part of this industry and business for about ten years. Through all of this I went through the usual stories associated with that lifestyle. Parties, booze, drugs, girls. That all changed about a year ago when I met a girl that convinced me to come back to the church.

I put my bands on hold and instead just focused on my background music as well as another job I have managing a call center. We stayed together for a while and ended up having many problems. She already attended the church where my parents still pastor so obviously we went there. Now that I am a bit older I could see the same types of people and problems literally from what seemed like miles away. But I ignored it and kept going anyway. Just as I had predicted the same types of gossip and problems came up regarding the relationship that I was in. Apparently having problems as a couple was just too much of a distraction for the rest of the church. What had actually happened was even though we were into it, we only talked about it to a couple of our really "close" friends at the church and I talked to my parents about some of it as they could tell when I was visibly upset, hell I loved the girl with all my heart. When I realized this I spoke up and said exactly that. Something along the lines of....

"ya know this is funny, because the only people we've talked to are sitting in this room. So if it has gotten farther than between us that means that you guys are the ones telling people right?"

My dad is a very good man. He's held that church together and held our family together through many things. But my mother and I have clashed repeatedly over the years and that's what this was about. My mom never liked the girl I was with and continued to stay close to my ex gf before her while we were together. Even inviting her to church. In this situation my dad knew that mom had gotten him in over his head and it was her demanding action that had caused this meeting in the first place.

Now for the next part I do want to make it perfectly clear that although I am not without any fault in the situation, my recent ex gf has a horrible tendancy to go crazy when she's angry and make a huge deal out of nothing. She also did not respect me and put me through some really #ty situations just because she is a very selfish and spoiled person. So this next incident was not entirely my moms fault. What happened (and this is literally all that was said) was my mother asked her for my key back one day at church. My ex freaks out and leaved bawling. Yes that was out of line by my mom, but I also had my ex at my place tearing things off the wall and going crazy the night before. I don't hit women, I don't really yell at women, I just wait it out and hope it's over soon. Not a pushover by any means but I handled it and had already gotten my key back.

For the next day all I got was texts from my ex about how horrible I was for "picking my mom over her" which makes no sense bc I did no such thing. but at the same time was crazy because had I been close to my mom as I'm sure many other men are, I would have told her to get #ed for lack of a better term. My mom at least gave birth to me and for damn sure doesn't throw me under the bus when convenient. I tried to let it settle, but it just wouldn't.

HERE'S where my point finally comes into play (if you are still reading)

My mom came to my house about a week later to tell me how awful my ex was and how much drama she was causing and was lying about her to people at church. After going on and on and on I finally had to interrupt. She was saying she thought my ex was demon possessed (literally) and told me that I needed to make her happy and just get back with an ex gf I had about two years ago that she still likes.

I know the bible better than most people expect, I've heard all the sermons and scriptures you can imaging. So I started firing back...

I asked.

me: "so if you think my ex is demon posessed that means you think she is going to hell right?"

Mom: "yes absolutely she is"

Me: "Then as a Christian doesn't that mean that you should try to save her?"

Mom: "that's not my problem bla bla bla etc etc etc...."

The rest of what was said by her I pretty much tuned out and just asked her to leave. I once again tried to believe in this stuff. Not because of the actions of anyone else, but because I thought I might have felt something. But then you see the people that are supposed to be the example for not only people in the church, but in your life give you the most stupid advice and throw out these crazy accusations. Just because you don't smoke a J and drink a few glasses of whiskey a night doesn't make you better than anybody else just because you pay tithes and attend church on a Sunday. Believe me folks, I've been there and seen just about everything organized religion has to offer. And I'm not trying to bash "GOD" or whatever "GOD" is. If there's a God up there watching me right now I really don't think he favors backstabbing hypocritical that have their noses stuck so far their own ass they can't smell their own bs over people that live through life every day and try to do the best that they can. Don't tell me that Grandma Jones was any better or more holy than me because she did all the things that looked right. Inside we are all human. Who said Baptists were right? Who said Catholics were right? Who said Hindu's were right? Who said etc etc etc were right?

After being one of their "born and raised" followers, I'm starting to see more and more that I'd like to keep my relationship with God between him and I. I'm really sick of all the boundaries and the limits that make no sense. People do what they want. And didn't God send his son so we wouldn't all have to be perfect anymore? (according to christians).

reply to post by stonedogdiary


At least someone gets what we're all trying to say.

Double standards are for people who secretly find something they really despise about themselves...and then project it onto society. That could be the reason for their religious viewpoint as well, some sort of neurotic medication to make them feel better about who they are.

That's how it was with Stephen King's Carrie, anyway. Stephen King always provides the most brutally accurate insight into the darker half of human nature. Something Christians desperately try to isolate from themselves, using Satan as a scapegoat.

Thanks for the thread, OP. I'm glad people are starting to see the light. Or rather, are starting to open their minds a little more. An open mind is all that's needed for true education. And a sensitive leg, of course.

Hiya, Stone. Yep, I sure did read all of your post. Sorry I wrecked your hopes and responded.

Seriously though, you sound as if you have your head on pretty straight and it's that reason I think you've found yourself at this point in your life. You've seen first hand the crazy thinking, the half truths, and the hypocrisy found in a lot of overly-religious folks (no offense, but I'd call your parents as such. Mainly your mother) and religion in general. I could go on and on about such things, But I don't need to; you already know.

To put it simply: You are where you need to be. You don't need their rules or their beliefs and never did. I feel you see this now and have felt as much for some time it seems. Go with it. You feel the way you do for a reason, my friend. So be yourself, use your own judgement, and find your own path. God does not reside in the church alone, nor does he/she/it speak only in the pages of books.. I suspect you know what I mean.

Congrats on taking a major step forward,

Inquisitive1

reply to post by stonedogdiary


Hypocrisy and duplicity are not confined to the Christian. We are all fallen. I can relate to your concerns about being a in a hypocritical Christian atmosphere. A healthy thing to remember is this: It's never about what we have done, it's about what's been done for us. We are all out of context with truth. You realize truth deeply and have the notion that, somehow, the Christian should be different. You are correct in this, as Christians are challenged to be sanctified from the world (Set apart).

Solomon lamented on this topic at the end of his life in Ecclesiastes. He was the father of wisdom and knowledge and a master of his kingdom. Was he a good husband? 700 wives? Was he a good father? How many children did miss raising with 700 wives? The truth is, after all his words of wisdom that were true, he could not follow them. He was a failed husband and a failed father. His son cursed him in front of another king. His kingdom promptly fell apart after he left the building.

The reason for this is simple: To be in context with truth, we must be in an environment where truth reigns. Truth is not in error, only the context man lives in is out of context with truth. If I tell you Solomon said to listen to the wisdom of your mother and the correction of your father, is this good wisdom? Yes, but only if your mother and father are in context with truth. If they are drug dealers, then you are better to find another source of wisdom. Context is important.

As bad as this world is, the church is a reflection of what all of us need. We need what Christ did for us on the cross. He suffered a negative death. Our sin is also negative. What do you get when two negatives are multiplied?

The link in my signature contains many subjects and articles you might find interesting.