i have a friend that is being held against her Will from leaving by her husband

reply to post by Gauss


Deep thanks Gauss~!

I'm in one state and she's in another, I don't think I mentioned that before(my bad) but I'll definitely give her some tips and you confirmed exactly what I was thinking about staying within the limits. I'll definitely keep you posted.

Originally posted by Night Star
There are women's shelters everywhere. She should call one and soon!!!!!!

thx Night Star,

yes.. think I'm going to call one near her and see what they say, never thought of it doing myself but, I'll research it out and talk to them and maybe they can call her and clam her fears enough to leave or maybe they can pick her up and hold her..

LOL seriously...

Is she really that stupid?

Obviously there is a threat involved...
If moving far, FAR away is not an option than going to the police is...
Now I know the Police, are more interested in dishing out fines for Jay walking than doing REAL police work, however, they do have the ability to point you to the direction of a court ordered restraining order, WHICH, if breached, causes the individual that breached, to go to prison...

I am so sick of STUPID WOMAN, that constantly take abuse and just whining to others instead of actually doing something about it !!

If you're not going to take action, DON'T SULK !!

reply to post by Komodo


This is a no-brainer. If she is really in that kind of environment, it is her duty to take her child out of that situation. That simple.

Call the cops, he isn't going to kill anyone, his big bad wolf ego will shrivel in the presence of LEOs.

Originally posted by ScatterBrain
reply to post by Komodo

 

This is a no-brainer. If she is really in that kind of environment, it is her duty to take her child out of that situation. That simple.

oh yea.. with the husband/father of the child standing over them both and the child that say'n he doesn't want to leave..

but, yea.. thx from well thought out earnest counsel

reply to post by Komodo


Is there a "her son" and a "step son?" That part wasn't real clear to me.

I know you love your friend, but if her own son wants to stay, and if she is already on meds, and if the husband has taken the meds from her, then maybe she is the problem? The meds would make her easier to get along with, so it doesn't make any sense that the husband would take the meds, unless he believed the meds were making her crazier?

If the story really is the way you say it is, then she has to leave, and you have to help her, and if other friends need to get involved, then so be it. He is much more likely to kill her if she stays there than if she leaves. If she leaves, and if she stays in contact with her friends and family, then he would have to be crazy to kill her. She also needs to be on record with the police in case he does try to kill her, or succeeds at killing her, and you need to be on record as well, in case you are also a victim, or a defender that has to justify your actions.

Get organized. Make other arrangements for her. Get your ducks, and her ducks in a row, and then call the police and let them know what is going on. The police will likely even send over an officer to be on standby if you give them a couple hours advance notice.

Get it done, don't lolly gag and pussy foot around. Either it is dangerous or it is not. Decide now. If it really is dangerous, then act now. If it is an exaggerated risk, then tell your friend to quit being dramatic. If the risk is real, there is no question as to what to do next. Pretending it is complicated, or insurmountable is stupid. The risk is in the home, the longer she says there, the bigger the risk. If it is real, act now.

May I suggest a small digital tape recorder.

Any evidence could help her.

The cops can only act if a crime is committed.

Threats are a crime....Wish I could offer more.

Very sound advice is all over this thread.

reply to post by getreadyalready


thx GRAR..!!

I'll respond when I have more time ..

Originally posted by whyamIhere
May I suggest a small digital tape recorder.

Any evidence could help her.

The cops can only act if a crime is committed.

Threats are a crime....Wish I could offer more.

Very sound advice is all over this thread.

yes.. agreed~!

thx for that.. someone else suggested the same thing.. not sure if he goes thru her purse or not.. but he does go thru her phone.. ;(

Originally posted by Komodo

Originally posted by ScatterBrain
reply to post by Komodo

 

This is a no-brainer. If she is really in that kind of environment, it is her duty to take her child out of that situation. That simple.

oh yea.. with the husband/father of the child standing over them both and the child that say'n he doesn't want to leave..

but, yea.. thx from well thought out earnest counsel

I think anyone who knew me would call me the experts of experts in this field buddy.

Your original post claimed, "the husband threatened to cut her brake lines before, when they first got together".
Darling... you also said her son will hate her if she calls 911. Good mom's don't hear that kind of crap from their children. Children who have good mom's know that mom's don't play with danger when it comes to their families and have learned the even if they don't understand the judgement call, mom is usually right when making them and comply. Apparently not so with this mom. Good mom's would never have put their child in such a volatile situation so casually. Actually, if it were so dangerous...mom wouldn't have told the son, she would have just waited for the right moment to make her exit and did or said whatever was needed for the most efficient escape for the safety of her and her child. You say she is on medication, from what I heard so far, she sounds like a drug addict with a ton of excuses to avoid responsibility. Sorry baby, you are playing with a manipulator and you are probably going to get burned for it, like everyone else in her life. Hey, on the good side... you will learn something

Women may not be stronger in a confrontation, but women are vindictive, when they aim to be:

. The last night of their marriage was even more garish. "I came home drunk," Willie remembers, "and while I was passed out, she sewed me up in a sheet. Must've taken her two hours. Then she got a broomstick and started beating the hell out of me. I woke up in this straitjacket, getting pounded like a short-order steak,' he continues. "By the time I got loose, she'd lit out in the car with the kids, her clothes and my clothes. There was no way I could follow her naked, and that was kind of the end of it."

Willie Nelson

Wife tires hubby out with sex, kills, cuts and feeds him to dogs

I am NOT advocating that she do anything, but if I was in the same situation, he'd better not pass out on me. He'd be walking with a permanent limp after I was through with him, at the least, and Lord help him if one of the men in my family got a hold of him. (Yeah, I say it like this all the time, and my poor gentle hubby looks so uncomfortable.)

reply to post by getreadyalready


I don't know what it is like in the States, but in the UK, unless the victim is willing to stand up in court, or make a statement of some kind against the accused, then there is nothing that the Police can do. It all comes down to he said, she said. And, in most cases, the victim will stand by the accused, sadly. In such cases, here in the UK, the main motivator, is a threat to have the children taken away if they are at any risk of either emotional or physical harm as a result of domestic abuse, directly or indirectly. If the couple are being disruptive, they may be able to charge them with that, but in terms of assault, or threats, it is up to the victim to say enough is enough, the Police have little power, and as often as not, much time is wasted in drawing together a case, only to have the victim refuse to testify.

The only person that can end this situation is the woman, and if she has a child, I agree with scattebrain, that should be her first priority. As someone said to me, do you really want your child to grow up thinking it is okay to hit women, because that, right now, is what you are teaching him...she needs to put her priorities in order, if she is not willing to do that, then sod calling the Police, it is the child that is important here, adults be buggered, call Social Services and get those children out of that toxic environment.