Why does rudeness upset us so much ?

You see a guy toss a bag of trash out of his car window.(Mr or Mrs Litterbug) this makes me nuts!

Your lawn is a minefield because somebody walks their dog there and doesn't clean up.I call these people jerks..

This can be done by people you don't know, people who don't know you this makes us angry. It's now our burden to make things right, to clean up after the inconsiderate jerk..

How do we put away the anger and learn to just shake off such things i even see it here on ATS at times with people makeing rude remarks to the ops of threads or to each other..

Typically, the jerk isn't trying to mess with your mind..Maybe they're distracted they have too much to do they made a mistake,I Think the reason we get angry is, we imagine they're trying to interfere with our goal..

When we're angry we lash out; we say things we shouldn't..pay attention to your responses, and suddenly you're less likely to be a jerk yourself.

But understand there are so many people today who have serious issues, and you really don't know what's going on in someone's mind..But you need to understand.. It's their problem and you can't take it on as your burden.

When you let another person increase your blood pressure, basically you're giving them permission to bother you.

Ive learned after being the victim of a jerk i take a deep breath and try not to dwell on it.. I know if replay the past more than twice then im in a very negative situation..

I know when i tend to get angry i lash out and say things i shouldn't.. I think you need to go to a higher ground, a higher viewpoint of the world and life..

When people have been victimized, they take it as a direct slap, and anger is automatic. But by controlling that emotion, a person can steer the situation in another direction.

Ive learned the champion moves on.I dont let people take me to their level.The other thing is when people get angry and stay angry. They not only blame somebody, they can't let it go.And that is so unhealty on so many levels..

I also think people don't change that easily..It's hard to get people to change their behavior,There is a solution for every problem. If we run from our problem, the problem will run towards us. So, if you want to deal with a problem, just stop, take a deep breath..

Think why this problem became a problem for you. May be the problem wasn't actually a problem before and became a problem solely because you made it become one.

If you do believe that a person is behaving awkwardly, communicate with him/her and try to bridge the gap of understanding weather its here on ATS or in your real life ..This is just something to ponder and its worked for me. peace,sugarcookie1

reply to post by sugarcookie1


everybody just needs to chill out.


but its hard to do when the Government is evil.

I've done my share of confronting people leaving their pets poop in my yard. People need to grow some, and learn how to be responsible with their harvest.

reply to post by satron



i just think its weird how they exit their own house, leave their front yard, come to MY YARD, and put POOP on it.


why don't they just poop on their own yard???

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RAAAAAAAAAAGEEE

reply to post by sugarcookie1


I think we have been conditioned to not accept rudeness easily...I mean for instance...my grandmothers mother probably never uttered a rude word in her life...and my grandmother was never rude...my mother was very seldom rude...and all my siblings are not rude by any means (me on the other hand...not so much)...so I think as the generations mutate...rudeness is more common and more acceptable by society in general!

It still upsets me..but not as much as it used to...I am being conditioned with each new generation to accept rudeness as the norm!

Just my two cents!

Oh honey, what you say is SOOOOOO true.... I used to have a really hard time not saying things in anger, then someone I "cursed" died, and it changed my whole perspective on anger.

Anger is a wasted emotion, especially when you realize that you only get angry when you see in others what you hate most about yourself.

I refuse to say anything in anger, I will walk away no matter how much it hurts me at the moment, because once you say something, there is absolutely NO WAY to retract it.

So many people lash out rather than to think things through, and this is a HUGE issue in my opinion. We all are here for the same reasons... to fulfill our destiny in the best way we can. Arguing and fighting is a total waste of the happiness you can achieve.... That's why we have free will.

One of my mottos that helps me walk away, is "Stupid people just shouldn't breed".... say it to myself as I'm telling them to "Have a great day!" Makes me feel a whole lot better! LOL

Originally posted by SoymilkAlaska
reply to post by satron

 

i just think its weird how they exit their own house, leave their front yard, come to MY YARD, and put POOP on it.


why don't they just poop on their own yard???

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RAAAAAAAAAAGEEE

They do it to mine because my yard is ground level, while the houses around me on elevated with stone walls blocking them. I'm easy access. But yeah, it is strange, for you looking at them doing it. It's not so strange for them. Why would anyone want dookie-doo in their yard.

Originally posted by SoymilkAlaska
reply to post by sugarcookie1

 

everybody just needs to chill out.


but its hard to do when the Government is evil.

SoymilkAlaska
I understand what your saying and i agree our government is evil ..But getting angry isn't going to solve anything ..In the end your the one thats going to get hurt i think your right we all need to chill out.. peace,sugarcookie1

Originally posted by satron
I've done my share of confronting people leaving their pets poop in my yard. People need to grow some, and learn how to be responsible with their harvest.

satron
I know ive gone through it myself..People just don't care its not in there yard so its ok if you talk to them about it it goes in one ear and out the other they just go to someone else yard ..peace,sugarcookie1

I was trying to return something at Home Depot not to long ago, and a lady came in, looking like a professional somebody, and here I am looking like a working class yahoo and she cuts right in front of me. There was only me and the person being waited on before she came in the picture. She had two buckets of paint, and she sits them on the counter next to the guy being refunded. Then he leaves, and the cashier says, "Next." as she was confused as who to look to because it should have been me, but this lady is looking like she is just going to do anything she wants today. So I just walk up to cashier nonchalantly before the lady can push her cans of paint over to the cashier.

And she says, "Oh, I didn't know you weren't with the other guy" The look on her face said otherwise.

I wasn't in the mood to be exactly polite and I said kind of coyly "Well I never thought you were trying to cut in line or anything, I just thought those buckets of paint were too heavy for YOU to hold on too" (you old hag) LOL

She laughed sarcastically about it, and tried covering herself up by asking if my plastic insulation kit (what I was returning) worked well, because she never had used one before. I told her, "I don't know, I never had to use it, that's why I'm returning it."

It shut her up, and she had a look like, "Well I'm sure YOU have had to use those many times before."

SUCK IT

Cashier even flashed me her secret seal of approval.

Originally posted by jerryznv
reply to post by sugarcookie1

 

I think we have been conditioned to not accept rudeness easily...I mean for instance...my grandmothers mother probably never uttered a rude word in her life...and my grandmother was never rude...my mother was very seldom rude...and all my siblings are not rude by any means (me on the other hand...not so much)...so I think as the generations mutate...rudeness is more common and more acceptable by society in general!

It still upsets me..but not as much as it used to...I am being conditioned with each new generation to accept rudeness as the norm!

Just my two cents!

I will never except that we are conditioned with each new generation to accept rudeness as the norm it just shouldn't be going on there is other ways around this growing problem...
peace,sugarcookie1

reply to post by sugarcookie1


Great advice. Nothing to add beyond a flag and a star, or...................

Can't we all just get along

Originally posted by sugarcookie1

Originally posted by jerryznv
reply to post by sugarcookie1

 

I think we have been conditioned to not accept rudeness easily...I mean for instance...my grandmothers mother probably never uttered a rude word in her life...and my grandmother was never rude...my mother was very seldom rude...and all my siblings are not rude by any means (me on the other hand...not so much)...so I think as the generations mutate...rudeness is more common and more acceptable by society in general!

It still upsets me..but not as much as it used to...I am being conditioned with each new generation to accept rudeness as the norm!

Just my two cents!

I will never except that we are conditioned with each new generation to accept rudeness as the norm it just shouldn't be going on there is other ways around this growing problem...
peace,sugarcookie1

I think you missed my point...I am just saying as the generations evolve...rudeness changes...for instance...a hundred years ago women were considered rude if they spoke in church...today...not at all considered rude!

People said yes mam and no sir all the time a hundred years ago...not so much today!

Please and thank you was used at some point in almost every conversation a hundred years ago...not so much today!

We are just becoming a more rude society with every generation it seems!

peoples egos, shes or hes not nice to me ooohhhh me me me me its all about me type of thing and people dont like being taken out of there comfort zones.

Originally posted by freespirit1
Oh honey, what you say is SOOOOOO true.... I used to have a really hard time not saying things in anger, then someone I "cursed" died, and it changed my whole perspective on anger.

Anger is a wasted emotion, especially when you realize that you only get angry when you see in others what you hate most about yourself.

I refuse to say anything in anger, I will walk away no matter how much it hurts me at the moment, because once you say something, there is absolutely NO WAY to retract it.

So many people lash out rather than to think things through, and this is a HUGE issue in my opinion. We all are here for the same reasons... to fulfill our destiny in the best way we can. Arguing and fighting is a total waste of the happiness you can achieve.... That's why we have free will.

freespirit1
I agree anger is a wasted emotion ..I know ive said things in anger and after its said there is no way to take back what you said then i get angry with myself..Now i back off think about it take a breath then decide what to say if anything..peace,sugarcookie1


One of my mottos that helps me walk away, is "Stupid people just shouldn't breed".... say it to myself as I'm telling them to "Have a great day!" Makes me feel a whole lot better! LOL

Originally posted by satron
I was trying to return something at Home Depot not to long ago, and a lady came in, looking like a professional somebody, and here I am looking like a working class yahoo and she cuts right in front of me. There was only me and the person being waited on before she came in the picture. She had two buckets of paint, and she sits them on the counter next to the guy being refunded. Then he leaves, and the cashier says, "Next." as she was confused as who to look to because it should have been me, but this lady is looking like she is just going to do anything she wants today. So I just walk up to cashier nonchalantly before the lady can push her cans of paint over to the cashier.

And she says, "Oh, I didn't know you weren't with the other guy" The look on her face said otherwise.

I wasn't in the mood to be exactly polite and I said kind of coyly "Well I never thought you were trying to cut in line or anything, I just thought those buckets of paint were too heavy for YOU to hold on too" (you old hag) LOL

She laughed sarcastically about it, and tried covering herself up by asking if my plastic insulation kit (what I was returning) worked well, because she never had used one before. I told her, "I don't know, I never had to use it, that's why I'm returning it."

It shut her up, and she had a look like, "Well I'm sure YOU have had to use those many times before."

SUCK IT

Cashier even flashed me her secret seal of approval.

satron
That was a great story And see you used what happened to your benefit ..You kept your cool and got back at her in a good way..good for you! peace,sugarcookie1

reply to post by sugarcookie1


I just want to understand, so can you explain from your mind what is rudness?

reply to post by InTheLight

so can you explain from your mind what is rudness?

Where else would someone explain rudeness from...other than their mind?

Oh sorry...you wanted "rudness"...totally different made up word...carry on!

ETA: Are you trying to get your post count up InTheLight...because I am seeing your one liners everywhere? Oh that is probably rude of me not to include a link...HERE...!!!

reply to post by jerryznv


Not at all. Please explain the rules of rudeness.

Originally posted by jerryznv

Originally posted by sugarcookie1

Originally posted by jerryznv
reply to post by sugarcookie1

 

I think we have been conditioned to not accept rudeness easily...I mean for instance...my grandmothers mother probably never uttered a rude word in her life...and my grandmother was never rude...my mother was very seldom rude...and all my siblings are not rude by any means (me on the other hand...not so much)...so I think as the generations mutate...rudeness is more common and more acceptable by society in general!

It still upsets me..but not as much as it used to...I am being conditioned with each new generation to accept rudeness as the norm!

Just my two cents!

I will never except that we are conditioned with each new generation to accept rudeness as the norm it just shouldn't be going on there is other ways around this growing problem...
peace,sugarcookie1

I think you missed my point...I am just saying as the generations evolve...rudeness changes...for instance...a hundred years ago women were considered rude if they spoke in church...today...not at all considered rude!

People said yes mam and no sir all the time a hundred years ago...not so much today!

Please and thank you was used at some point in almost every conversation a hundred years ago...not so much today!

We are just becoming a more rude society with every generation it seems!

Your right i did miss your point..sorry about that.. I was brought up on the please and thank you code along with yes mam and no sir my dad was military and anything less wasn't tolerated..
And i agree we are becoming a rude society with every generation maybe its because of all our freedom of speech or we just don't care anymore..peace,sugarcookie1