Why are nonconformists more open/sociable than conformists?

Why is it that people who are nonconformists and freethinkers (like all of us here), tend to be more open, comfortable and sociable with strangers, whereas mainstream conformists and materialistic people tend to be more cliquish and not as open with strangers?

Have any of you noticed this pattern? Is there a reason for this?

It also seems that highly materialistic people are more cliquish and less open with strangers than non-materialistic people are. Ever notice that too? Why is that?

As far as I know, the most friendly and open people in the world that are the easiest to chat up and the least stuck up, are the following:

- Nonconformist/freethinker types
- People in poor or third world countries
- Elderly or middle age folks
- Hippies or people who call themselves "freespirits", the type that go to Rainbow Gatherings (though they tend to be flaky)
- Perpetual traveler types or nomads
- Great writers and philosophers
- Spiritually-oriented non-materialistic types
- New Age types and Paranormal/UFO enthusiasts
- Artistic people (though not all, for there are many artistic snobs too)

Why is that?

But mainstream conformists in first world countries (USA, Canada, Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, etc.) who do not fit the categories above, and are square, live to work, materialistic and only care about their career, marriage, house and errands, (such as all my cousins) are not that open with strangers. Nor do they seem capable of holding intelligent down to earth discussions and exchanges. It's like they are zombies run by instincts or something. Really weird. Ever notice that?

They aren't even on a down to earth wavelength where you can have an intelligent civil conversation with them - not even an articulate conversation like the talk shows you see on TV. And their social skills suck ass totally. It's like they are in a different zone or frequency. It's hard to explain what I mean. Have any of you noticed what I'm talking about? It's like trying to talk to a zombie. Really weird.

Why are most or many mainstream people like this? It's really freaky and creepy. They seem so inhuman. Why do I feel this way? Am I insane or are they?

So why are nonconformists usually more friendly and sociable with strangers than conformists? And why are materialistic people more cliquish and less open with strangers than non-materialistic people? Is there a logical explanation? Anyone want to take a crack at it?

Also, have you noticed that if you say something simple like "Merry Christmas" or "Happy New Year" to a mainstream conformist, they will say the same back, but as soon as you say anything outside the box or get them to think about something, they just ignore you as if you are weird? WTF? Why is thinking so abnormal in the mainstream conformist world? It's like the Twilight Zone, where I feel like I am the last sane person alive on the planet! LOL

Any of you ever feel that way?

I have no idea. Noticed that as early as highschool...all the quiet people that got bullied by the group were actually the most down to earth, interesting and cool people...once they opened up. Guess it's the way the cookie crumbles : P Status. All about status.

That's a good question.
I'd suspect that it's because non-conformists aren't as judgmental. They are open people. They are okay with people being different, because they are different, so they accept different people, even the conformists.

You really have a great question and you have noticed a very great and sound truth.
The answer if pretty redundant though,

"...like all of us here"

That's a bit of a stretch right there. This is a conservative leaning website. Conservatives conserve the status quo, reject progress and are motivated by ignorance and fear.

This is a conformist leaning site.

You suggest a premise then ask why is it so!

It isn't. People are people.

Free thinkers come in the full spectrum of social types and in fact many are withdrawn in society.

Many very sociable people are the most closed minded people on earth.

P

It's called fear. These people like to told what to do, who to relate with, measure how their lives should be. They fit neatly into the boxes which were designed for them. Oddly, due to their fear, they are told boogie men are out to get them and believe it, blindly support wars, and think nothing is wrong with Wall Street. Fear+conformists=a closed mind.
Just my take on it.
As for me, I'm a nonconformist...just like everyone else.

Because non-conformists and freethinkers, are much more likely actually be awake and and actually interested in more than just what they are told they have to think and do and be.

Whether merely non-conformist or actively contrarian, most folks seem to share more freely because they just don't care what other people think about them or their ideas so there's no "down side" to being open about them. Also, those like minded people have a tendency to congregate - something that the conformist isn't very comfortable with, groups of people openly expressing their views especially when those views may not be "main stream".

Robert Altemeyer has a body of sociological work that pretty much explains the nuts and bolts of all the political, social, religious, etc. ideologies interact within an authoritarian framework in schools and other socialization programs. The great thing about his work is that it addresses root causes rather than specific manifestations like political ideology, religious dogma, cultural bias, etc.

ganjoa

Its because non conformists don't need to memorize what others are saying. they just say what they think.

Have any of you noticed that nonconformists like talking about deep topics whereas conformists prefer trivial superficial subjects?

It's like they are on different wavelengths, so that when you put them together, even if they are polite to each other, there is like this psychological wedge between them.

The result is that they both feel like there's no chemistry between them, and usually don't make arrangements to meet again unless they have to.

Any of you notice this? Any of you experience this?

Could this be why many ordinary people seem to dislike me for no reason?

Any of you ever feel that way?

reply to post by WWu777



Now do you really need an answer? If a conformist hiccups, their brain resets. Conformists are too busy protecting the bubble they live in... ever worried that someone may come a long with a sharp object and destroy the imaginary utopia in their mind. They are the walking paranoids...they can see a wave coming from across the street and beads of sweat will form on their brow if they are unable to make a discreet escape
We have millions of them, each with their own bubble and many have protected their bubble within a group bubble.... double bubbles

reply to post by OldSchoolMom


I apologize for making fun of the issue, it isn't really funny at all if you consider the process we put children through in this day and age. We brag that we have technology to create a more intelligent society but we use that technology to process children like cattle, control and guide their existence. We have a system that teaches conformity is obedience and good. So, us non conformists are really seen as degenerates with a lack of self-control by some.
I know we don't see ourselves that way but, conformists probably see us this way, and might even fear nonconformists because after all we are rebels in their eyes, and most likely to make waves in society. Again, my apologies to conformists in regards to my previous post.

Additional questions:

- I find that many mainstream people are turned off by me or my vibe for some reason, even if I don't do anything wrong. Is it because when a nonconformist and a conformist get together, there is this psychological wedge between them because they are on different frequencies? Nonconformists aren't afraid of what others think of them, and like to talk about deep topics and think about them, and are less materialistic and less judgmental. But on the other hand, conformists prefer superficial/shallow topics, are more materialistic and judgmental, and care what others think of them. The two are not going to naturally jive. So when together they will feel like there is no chemistry. Know what I mean?

- Could it also be that a nonconformist acts as a mirror to a conformist, making the conformist see himself/herself for what he/she really is, a programmed slave, which makes makes him/her uncomfortable? Does a conformist view a nonconformist as a psychological threat? After all, how can a conformist perceive and understand a nonconformist, or categorize them in a conformist world? They can't, because the nonconformist represents something that doesn't exist to a conformist and isn't possible. So the conformist will either be dumbfounded or threatened in some way.

- If you become a nonconformist and are liberated from caring about what others think of you, and are nonjudgmental, nonmaterialistic, deep, etc. are you condemned to a life of loneliness? Even if you find like minded others, I would imagine that much or most of your life is still going to be spent in loneliness, unless you live in a community of like minded people or live with a similar partner. But if you travel or move around a lot, and meet other travelers, you have a high chance of meeting other nonconformists of course, since perpetual traveler types do tend to be nonconformist types.

- Have you ever heard of anyone becoming a nonconformist (in mind and spirit, not just in label) and then ended up returning to being a conformist again? Is that possible? Can an awakened person fall asleep again and forget their awakened state?

a reply to: WWu777

Wow. I completely find myself in what you wrote and felt like this my whole life. It feels good to have words put into it.

First question : The reason why it's not working is that nonconformist are on a different frequency. We see the bigger picture and live a lot more in the present moment. Conformist see the world with a different filter.
The reason they can't vibe together is that conformist are looking for external source as a way to build their identity whereas nonconformist reach it from inside.

Second question : Conformist people need other people to be conformist as well. See how conformist people try to justify their choice by trying to convince to do the same as well ? Nonconformist are a threat to their sense of reality. It challenges them in a way they see the world hence making them uncomfortable. However they tend to look it from far away. Conformist need to put people into boxes and categories.

Third question : I am a nomad myself and i can attest that the vast majority of solo traveler (long term only) tend to be the nonconformist type. There will be always this "gap" with conformist people. The best partner will usually be a nonconformist as well. Chance to meet them are lower than in the general population as they are more scarce.
Your best bet is to find a solo travel in a poorer continent (Asia, Africa, South America...).

Fourth question : I never heard of any nonconformist going back. Neither the opposite actually. Conformist people are sometime amazed by the lifestyle of a nonconformist but will always be looking it from far away. It's like there is a glass ceiling which is unbreakable if it makes sense.


By the way, i am thinking about another question. However nonconformist people tend to make a living. What kind of "work" do they do ?
I tend to think that most are self employed (as my self).
What do you ?