Mother killed 22-year-old autistic son, then herself

Wow, that's really sad.

Watching my sister go through it, in some ways I can see her point. People can only take so much before they break.

Just saw the thread.

Sadly, I feel my sister may be going down the same path. Last night, I think she finally just woke up to the realization that something is mentally wrong with her child, it was the first time, I ever heard her admit to that. Usually she will make excuses up for her child. Right now, she literally believes her child hates her guts. Because her child looks to me. Her child tries to call me mom. Any time she talks to her mom, it's in a ruthless demanding tone at home, but at the hospital, totally sweet.

And she is letting everyone know that I am kicking her to the curb and her child to the curb in 30 days if she can't find placement for her by then. And it really breaks my heart to even threaten her with that. It really is hard to even say that to her.

Even the Doctor told her she needs to be seen, because she is almost at her breaking point.

I really hope she keeps fighting and stays on track and doesn't sway off. She needs to keep pushing and fighting with the hospital, the case workers, and court to get this child placed in an environment where she can have friends that can communicate with her who have similar problems as her.

It is definitely hard and it is draining some days.

Heart Breaking story. Thanks.

My condolences to the family.

Originally posted by Infi8nity
Absolutely discussing. She could have just taken her self, I guess she was thinking about him walking in on her dead body? Makes it even more selfish, kill your son because you do not want to be the one that causes him pain. She should have prepared, she had 22 years to come with a plan.

I say the same thing too with my sister. She should of been prepared and the child should of been placed long ago in a residential home.

But, the fact of the matter is that they are too blind to see that and admit to it.

No one wants to give up their child [Those that truly care for kids] and no one wants to believe that something may be wrong with their child. It is hard for them to see that until it becomes too much for them. By then, it's too late, and the damage has already been done.

Very sad, as I have a couple relatives with autistic children, interestingly in one of the cases the child is severely autistic and was never vaccinated as she was anti-vaccine. The other one is also severely autistic and he was fully vaccinated. Both were "normal" until around 12-24 months of age when a lot of the symptoms start to show as more advanced development occurs.

I have spent years researching the controversy on and off and it always boils down to there being a lack of evidence of vaccines being linked to Autism, even when they are peer reviewed, re-examined, and extensively studied.

Autism is on the rise, even in countries with falling vaccination rates or in the case of Japan, where they eliminated the vaccine completely for a huge period of time. I feel that autism may be directly triggered mainly via genetic triggers. What causes the triggers? Processed foods? Formula vs Breastmilk? Increased environment pollution? dense saturation of radiowaves in our environment? television exposure at a young age and interaction with neural development? Or even home vs daycare exposure and the Hygiene hypothesis? Heck, I have even heard some state that Autism is linked to indigo or star children and that those autistics are just being raised to a higher dimensional awareness to ascend and it causes them difficulty in interfacing with our reality...

There are literally thousands of things far more likely to be the trigger for autism than vaccines. The fact that vaccines have saved millions upon millions of lives every year, perhaps has also increased the pool of children and the possible cases of autism as well? Considering childhood death has decreased 75%-90% world-wide due to vaccines.

The Autism vs Vaccination link is more conspiracy based than anything, but this is ATS and I would expect no less. And if there is a true link then TPTB have done an excellent job of suppressing such information, and all doctors and scientists have been strong-armed to fall in line.

www.skepdic.com...

en.wikipedia.org...

reply to post by theubermensch


If you ever become crippled or mentally ill, may you live to eat your words.

Funny you mention Sparta....Did you realize that, along with its high ideals of strength and simplicity, the male Spartan military fostered homosexual love as a cornerstone of keeping its military strong and "bonded"? There was no age of consent, and most little boys, by the time they reached age 12, had already had old men as lovers. Homosexual relations were actually written into the Spartan constitution as a necessity for keeping the state strong. Apparently men were more likely to fight harder for somebody they had sex with.

Women were treated like slaves, kept locked up, had no real value other than as broodmares, and it was a male-dominated society which believed that only the love between two men had any value. Men were expected to take a bride in order to have children, so a 30 year old man would take a 15 year old wife, but not even see her until the wedding day, because it didn't matter, she was just a breeder with a dowry.

With all our "bleeding heart" flaws nowadays, I would pick this time and place over ancient Sparta any day of the week. I would prefer not to sit in judgment over which life has value.

2 things not mentioned in the article. The mom had a breakdown about 6 weeks ago, and the autistic son was afraid of the moms neighbors dogs, that and taking the man home out of his normal routine must have been tramatic for him. Sad all the way around for sure.


about autism and vaccines. I read a recent article where drs looked at families that had at least 1 autistic child, when the family had another child, they ran tests very early, like whenthe babies were 4 months old, before any vaccinations are started and they had signs of autism.

the ear infection story, that is very interesting, had not heard it before. There has to be some kind of genetic connection
somewhere for sure.

Originally posted by Infi8nity
Absolutely discussing. She could have just taken her self, I guess she was thinking about him walking in on her dead body? Makes it even more selfish, kill your son because you do not want to be the one that causes him pain. She should have prepared, she had 22 years to come with a plan.

Are you serious? Are your comprehension skills impaired in some way, or did you simply mis-read the original article and every single post up until yours? This had nothing to do with her not wanting him to find her body, wherever you came up with that, nor did she do it because she didn't want to be the one to cause him pain..wherever you came up with that one too.

She did it mainly because she was at her wits end so to speak. People are not completely rational when they are stressed to that degree. And the majority of people only THINK they know stress. Ha, what this woman, and others like her, have to go through on a DAILY basis, with NO break, ever, is just too much for anyone.

As I said, that is the main factor. The second main factor was probably that she knew for a fact, having seen what the state offers for autistic individuals, that no one was going to take care of her son after she was gone. She was already in her 50's I believe, and with her stressful lifestyle, she very well may not have had much time left. She may have known that.

Therefore she took the only option that solved NOT her problem, but her son's problem. It may not seem like it, but those who say that individuals with these severe conditions, who have zero hope for improvement or a normal life, are better off alive than dead are probably wrong. It sounds cruel, but it is pure hell for the child and parents. It's even worse for single parents.

Even though I do not think suicide is morally correct, I completely understand, and choose NOT to judge this woman, and neither should you, because you have NO idea what it was like to be in her situation. I also do not think it is right, but I would support a program that actually ended the lives of those with severe, hopeless conditions at a certain time...perhaps upon birth, I don't know. Like I said, it isn't the "right" thing to do morally I suspect, but it is selfish of US to say that someone MUST live despite their condition, simply because of our predisposition toward thinking death is an "evil".

To paraphrase Socrates, how can one make the decision to run from death when it is not known if death is a good or an evil? One thing is certain however...The suffering of these two individuals has ceased. Some may say that she is in hell for her act, but I cannot accept that, because NO truly loving God would punish this woman for her actions, which were a direct result of her situation, coupled with cloudy thinking brought on by that situation.

Tragic story but true. I can only imagine the lonliness and fatigue this woman felt. She must have been tired deep down to her very soul. It's true, when you have a child with a mental disability who cannot function on their own you do wonder and worry about who will take care of them when you die. I feel only sadness for her as she had no one who could help her in her plight.

Here is a follow-up to this story on the blog "Squidalicious: The Adventures of Leo and His Potty-Mouthed Mom":

We MUST Do Better: Autism, Tragedy, and Transition to Adulthood TweetI don't know if you saw yesterday's horrible, tragic news about the Sunnnyvale mother who killed her 22 year old autistic son and then herself. It's awful. It should never have happened. But there was a lot more than autism and caregiver isolation going on there. They were a family that needed more support than they were getting. I'm sure the details will come out in the media eventually.

What you need to know now -- whether you're part of the autism communities or not -- is that this happened in part because the family did not have enough options when their son transitioned out of school -- Leo's school, as it happens, where every last member of the community is devastated and reeling. Where the son was a cherished student for many years. The son was welcome to transition to Leo's school's adult program, but, as reported in the news, his mother didn't feel it was the right option for him. However she was also not able to find other options. And that, from reports, was likely a catalyst in an already unstable situation. We need to find better options for young adults with autism and developmental disabilities as they transition out of school and into .... where? We need structure, options, policy ... and to ensure that all our kids have options when their yellow school buses stop showing up.

Ironically, yesterday was a banner day on the internet for discussing school to adulthood transition options. I recommend reading the following articles (three from yesterday, one from a couple of weeks ago) and then let's talk about what the hell we can DO to support all our kids in the transition to their own version of successful adulthood:

Charlotte Moore at Thinking Person's Guide to Autism: Sam, at Nineteen: On Transitions and Autistic School-Leavers: thinkingautismguide.blogspot.com/2012/03/sam-at-nineteen-on-transitions-and.html

Laura Shumaker at SF Gate: Community Building 101 for Adults with Disabilities: FRED Conference provides actionable information blog.sfgate.com/lshumaker/2012/03/07/community-building-101-for-adults-with-disabilities-fred-conference-provides-actionable-information

Jenee Woodward at HuffPo: Parenting Adults With Autism: www.huffingtonpost.com/jenee-woodard/parenting-adults-with-autism_b_1310891.html

Kate Winslet's Golden Hat Foundtion, at Thinking Person's Guide to Autism: thinkingautismguide.blogspot.com/2012/02/kate-winslets-autism-awareness-project.html

www.squidalicious.com...

Also, if you have autism in your family or have Asperger's (as I do), please check out the following website:

thautcast.com...