Suffering from some sort of mental illness.

reply to post by TheCommentator


We are talking about something way more than simple depression of mood. This sounds like at least a chemical imbalance. And no...they do not just "hide" the symptoms. What you have suggested can certainly help...but as part of an overall process for treatment. I have only heard a small portion of this story and am not convinced even this is just a mood disorder like a major depressive episode. But I will not diagnose a patient over the internet.

Sometimes it really does take medicines to "fix," or at least treat the problem. This sounds serious..not to scare the OP...but I think he realizes he has a major issue here. If something is missing..especially something as important as neurotransmitter chemicals, and I mean naturally occurring chemicals in the body....then the proper treatment is to replace them. Or help ensure the ones there bind with what they are supposed to bind with.

And that's the best way i can explain this without getting very technical. Treating depression with anti-anxiety medicines is making the problem. SSRI's or SNRI's arent a mask. They are the treatment.

Originally posted by ZombiePatriot
Thank you all for your comments. I am on citaloprem and have been for a week and a half, so they aint really working just yet. Theres times when im really happy, but others where I just lose all control and become suicidal sometimes, to the point of writing a note and going for a walk with a blade from a Stanley knife. Im terrified that one day it will all just get too much for me. I have been back to my GP, and I have another appointment with the mental health team on March 6th.

First of all, don't listen to the unqualified idiots telling you to not take medication. Listen to your Mental Health Doctor, they have spent at least 9 years studying the subject at the highest level, what they say is a lot more in your interests than what anybody on here says. Secondly I have just started Citalopram 3 weeks ago and it really works for me, I had very similar symptoms to you where I lash out uncontrollably at my close family and have a constant low mood with lots of mood swings and a complete lack of interest in anything apart from drinking or other things that remove yourself temporartily. I thought I had Bi-Polar but after a lot of sessions with the Mental Health Specialists I have come to realise that I do not have it by my lack of ecstatic highs.

I too like you have not felt like the NHS Mental Health teams have been actually treating the problem, more like controlling it and monitoring me just to see if I am likely to harm myself or others, thats all they ever seem interested in. My advice is persivere with them and make it clear to them upon your visits that you do not feel like you are being treated and that without the meds the condition is not actually getting better. Eventually they will refer you to a real Psycologist (you might think you have seen one already but its likely you have only seen psyciatric nurses or General Practicioner Mental Health Specialists). After 9 months I have just been refered to one of these and have my first session at the end of the month.

I am guessing you have external pressures making things worse like money? housing? or Family? and your condition is inflamed by this. My personal demon is money. Let me just say that I know what you are going through, in my case I thought my life was finished and my condition means that I cannot see the posatives or the light at the end of the tunnel. I thought about it all and after taking meds for a long time (previously on Sertraline and Olanzapine) I started to change my mindset and started to believe that my situation isn't the end of the world. I have started an IVA to get my money in order and have shared my problems with close friends and family. That is another huge problem with these conditions, you do not wish to tell people either out of embarrasment or shame at showing personal weakness. Forget that #, speak to people you really trust and share your problems, you will be suprised at how they will help you and actually how much relief it gives you just telling people about it.

As to your dark thoughts, I found the way to stop me hurting myself was to focus on somebody I love more than anything in the world (my 2 daughters) every time I have those thoughts I think of them and most importantly think of how I will ruin their lives if I selfishly take my own life.

Just remember, you are not the only person to have ever gone through this and people come out the other side unscathed. If you want to talk to me privatly about your experience please send me a U2U, I assure you I am going through something very similar to you, maybe just at a different stage. It helps to talk to people who understand your feelings.

Sounds like bipolar.
If you are treated for depression and it's actually bipolar it can make you worse. Been there.
Bipolar people need medication like diabetics need insulin. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

That argument is ridiculous
would you tell a person with high blood pressure not to take their medicine?
It's suicide.

reply to post by webpirate


Once you start taking these medications it can become a lifetime commitment.
I think a few months of lifestyle change is worth missing out on meds because there will probably never be a way out of them.
A lifestyle change and these drugs are not compatible either.

Originally posted by TheCommentator
reply to post by webpirate

 

Once you start taking these medications it can become a lifetime commitment.
I think a few months of lifestyle change is worth missing out on meds because there will probably never be a way out of them.
A lifestyle change and these drugs are not compatible either.

Im not trying to argue with you because I believe that changes in your lifestyle can help a MILDLY depressed person, but what the OP has alluded to does not sound mild in the slightest. Going out for a walk with a stanley knife isnt what I would class as being easily remedied with lifestyle change.

Meds, therapy and a change in a persons lifestyle can help and telling them to skip the meds is dangerous when they have been prescribed them.

If I had skipped the meds I would have left behind a teenage daughter and a partner. Just something for you to think about.

reply to post by Ficargul


Indeed. This is way more than something lifestyle changes alone can fix. And yes...they would probably be needed for the rest of his life. But they are needed now too. It isn't cause he would start them that he would have to keep taking them.

If your thyroid fails you have to take thyroid supplements the rest of your life. It's no different here. A walk in the part without a Stanley knife could indeed help. But that isn't the cure. I understand what that guy was saying to a point...but this is way beyond the I don't feel good about things stage.

Again...OP...give the meds some time, and give the psych team a chance. Then...if that doesn't seem to be working, tell them. They can try something else. It sounds like maybe he wasn't bi-polar if I read an earlier post correctly. There can be a time when you feel so down for so long, then start to feel better for a time...it can be misinterpreted as bi-polar but you really aren't. The mania is actual "normal" feelings of well being but is so different than what you're used to it seems almost mannish.

I hope the OP appears tonight, I am feeling rather concerned for them, I hope they are ok.

I think it sounds a bit like bipolar too, (but it's all subjective isn't it). We're all a bit mentally ill, anyone who isn't these days, well there's something wrong with them. And you're a Scot too. We're ALL mad.
You're just focused on it and that'll make you feel worse.

Are you male or female? The reason I ask is while anyone being in a temper is bad for a family, I think a man in a temper can be much more frightening, for obvious reasons. Try not to frighten anybody or do anything daft.

If you smoke dope- STOP because that makes mood swings worse.
Same if you drink.
Check your diet and see if you're getting enough vitamins and minerals. Lack of something might be contributing. It's winter too, I've been feeling a bit crap myself and trying to catch some rays when the sun's out.
Sugar imbalance can cause mood swings too.

Till it's sorted, and it will be, find something that makes you laugh every day. I find Spike Milligan cheers me up, and he was mad as a brush. Or there's French and Saunders. Good luck and keep yer chin up.

reply to post by TheCommentator


Friend, if you were around me for 6 hours when I'm not on my meds, you'd be begging me to take them. Trust me. My bi-polar is contagious its so bad! I know you mean well, and maybe it worked for you and if it did, I wholeheartedly commend you on your effort to kick the pill bottle. For some of us though, its like a nuclear meltdown between the ears if a dose is skipped, much less stopped. I even tried weaning myself off slowly only to see the old nervous tics and swirling racing thoughts slipping back. I honestly fear what I might be capable of if pulled completely from my medication for more than 36 hours. The crushing headache, the nausea, the 100 mile an hour rollercoaster ride of emotions... its enough to make one cry for a bullet, trust me.