Parenting 101: how to instill respect for others.

Warning! The video in this post contains explicit language and violence!

I just saw this on CNN and looked it up. I admire and respect this man!

We see the many issues created by a lack of such action every day. We see adults demanding entitlements instead of doing for themselves. We see protesters making wild demands. We see class warfare, lack of productivity, unappreciative recipients of opportunity, disrespect... and I believe in my heart it comes down to a lack of this. Until we begin disciplining our children, until we begin demanding they act with some decorum, until we begin demanding respect from them instead of cowtowing to their every whim... the unrest we see in the world around us will continue.

My hero:


(I am sorry this video is so long - over 8 minutes - but it really takes this long to effectively say what this man needed to say. It's time well spent IMO)

TheRedneck

So you are saying once teens learn "respect" they will vote against welfare? They don't need to learn respect for authority but respect for EVERYONE.

Hello TheRedNeck. It would seem a lot of people agree with you. The video has gone viral. I posted it on my FB wall, along with about a million other people.

Here is the youtube view count as of checking a couple of hours ago....11,948,980

Des

I just posted the Cnet article about this incident on my daughter's fb page today. She doesn't do this sort of thing at all, but she's a teenager and does have some degree of this misplaced feeling of entitlement. It was more to that end that she needed to be aware of this. She just got a big, nice laptop for her birthday last December.

She hates it when anyone but her friends post anything on her fb page. :/

This child is in desperate need of some discipline and guidance on respect...and this dude is an epic fail on both accounts.

He shot an expensive piece of equipment to kingdom come and put the video on Youtube in retaliation for her disrespect; these are the kinds of actions I would expect from a teenage drama queen, not a middle-aged man.

He handled the situation by taking it to her level, that of a child's, and I guarantee you all that he has done is made her think that he is totally psycho and cemented even more in her mind her justifications for being disrespectful in the first place.

reply to post by Daughter2

So you are saying once teens learn "respect" they will vote against welfare?

I'm saying once they learn respect (don't remember mentioning for authority only), they will not consider others their servants, they will learn to do what they can with what they have instead of demanding that others do for them, they will learn that they are not the center of the Universe, and they might just learn that there are consequences for actions.

You can try and twist this back around to me wanting to end welfare, but it's still going to be a twist. I actually support a welfare program that helps people more than this one we have does. Instead of just tossing enough money to scrape by in poverty at someone, I would like to see them supplied with everything they need... as long as they are trying to dig their way out of the hole they find themselves in. As it stands now, welfare is a trap: you get on welfare because you have a bad run of luck, and then every time you try to get ahead, welfare cuts you back. You are trapped in poverty for the rest of your life with no way to escape.

Somewhere along the way we decided this was a good thing for people...

TheRedneck

He has also taught her: if you don't like something (or someone?), get a gun and shoot it. I guess he is also teaching her that smoking is ok. What a neanderthal. Simply having a private conversation with her and confiscating her laptop would have been the mature thing to do.

I might have made her post a retraction before confiscating her laptop, but he was being very "high school-ish".

reply to post by AnIntellectualRedneck

He had already tried confiscating her computer...she simply waited it out and then went back to her shenanigans. He had just upgraded her laptop for her, and she responded by using that laptop to berate and disrespect him. She did not buy the laptop herself; he had bought it for her in the first place.

He took back what was his, and by shooting the thing made it perfectly clear that her actions did not just cause her to have to wait things out again... thy caused her to lose her laptop. There's not a clearer way to emphasize to someone that their computer has been destroyed than plugging it with .45s.

Another lesson: appreciate what you have... and that includes being thankful that someone thought enough of her to give her a laptop in the first place. Thankful people do not cuss out the people they are thankful to in public.

TheRedneck

My 19 year old daughter and I just watched the video. I was surprised at it, but she was completely understanding of the father and his frustration. She used to be very similar at 15 years old, so she could totally relate to how bratty that child was being, and how ungrateful.

Oddly enough, she was more supportive of this father's actions than I was. I think the father went a bit far by shooting the laptop, but it technically is his stuff, he paid for it, and there is nothing that says that his daughter has to have her own computer, particularly if she is going to use it to badmouth the very people who bought it for her.

I think most teenagers have a misplaced sense of entitlement and demand all kinds of technological gadgets that cost a great deal, yet if you ask them to rinse their own dishes or make their own bed, they come all unglued and have a hissy fit, screaming "not fair" and "you suck".

I remember when we bought my daughter a car for her 16th birthday, and the night before she was to get her driver's license, she snuck out and got into a great deal of trouble. We didn't let her get her license until she was 17, one whole year later, and she had to look at that car and not be able to use it for that whole year. No, I didn't shoot it full of .45 hollow-point bullets, but I did make a point of using it a lot. :-)

While I feel the daughter was wrong in her post, I feel the Dad (Father? or Step Dad?) handled it poorly as well.

He was ANGRY ... VERY ANGRY ... and that's a no-win situation.

He was destructive and vindictive (or is vengeful the right word?).

He was wasteful.

He also sent a silent "threat" implying 'the next round of bullets are for you kid'.

A better solution to the laptop would have been him taking it somewhere and DONATING it to a needy family.

I wouldn't be surprised if Child Protective Services knocked on his door.

Children learn many ways - one is by imitation. It's no wonder the child turned 'bad'. She's a chip off the old block.

children learn a good deal by imitation. Imitation of their parents, friends, teachers, what they see and hear. It takes a whole village (society)to raise a child.

reply to post by Trexter Ziam


yueh i feel the same. his daughter made him mad so he made a video of him crying about it. Not much unlike what the girl originally did in the first place. He's saying, on day you'll earn the right to be able to vent off steam. Until then you have to keep it all bundled up.

Children need discipline to learn respect. While part of me applauded the father's actions, I would not condone what he did. He used a gun, in anger, and then posted his tantrum online.

If his daughter has dealt with this her whole life, maybe her feelings have merit. She handled the situation poorly, but she's a teenager. By definition, teenagers are constantly making mistakes, testing authority, etc.

However, the father is an adult and should be better able to deal with his anger. What he did isn't going to make her more respectful but more resentful.

reply to post by TheRedneck


you guys give kids a bad name.


there are always really strict parents, and that's why some kids never learn respect for their parents, because their parents are control freaks that love to punish unfairly and unusually just like the government.

there is no doubt an obvious connection.

kids don't like being controlled by people who are so proud and think they know better.

live and let live.

the kids rebel and of course people like you instantly point the finger and try to make them look like bad kids.

the reason kids end up that way with bitter resentment is because you and your respectful ways are so hard headed and illogical.


sorry but that's that truth. you probably the same type of person that has kids and demands they give you grandchildren, but then you flip when they admit they are gay or something.

go find something better to do please, people like you are the cause of so many ruined childhoods.

and i resent YOU for not understanding. take that finger your pointing at poor kids that feel lost and can't trust anybody, you know where you can put it.

peace.

Bravo, i think that it's about time that parents started teaching their kids respect. Every time I go out i see children disrespecting those around them. Had I behaved this way when I was a child there would have been dire consequences. My father always taught me not to be stupid and disrespectful behavior was considered to be stupid in his view.

Now that I am older I see the wisdom in his teaching and to this day I try to treat others with respect at least until they prove to me that they don't deserve it.

I see children back talking their parents, screaming at them in stores because they can't get their parents to bend to their every whim. A sad state of affairs. Kids have no manners these days and I place the blame where it belongs, on the parents.

A parents job is to be a guide to making their kids responsible adults, not to be their best friend. Their supposed to be the ones who make them see the error of their ways when they misbehave. Their supposed to make boundaries and keep the kids within them. Teach them to see why certain behaviors are not acceptable in in certain situations.

I'm afraid that the majority of todays parents don't do a very good job. The behavior of their kids merely punctuates their failure to produce a functioning adult.

Like father like daughter.

Good job dad, you just taught your daughter that when she get's pissed off at someone, grab a gun and shoot something, maybe someone.

Way to go earning respect .

(If you guys didn't pick up on that, SARCASM)

I hope child protective services show up at this persons door, he deserves it, he showed no more maturity than a teenager has, though I have certainly seen teenagers with more intelligence and maturity than this parent has.

No wonder she is rebelling, I got the feeling he is a highly controlling parent who demands everything be done his way or no way. That's the definition of TROUBLE BREWING.

OP respect? LOL no, he just created fear and angst, hate and the urge to get away, no respect what so ever from him so he will not get it from her. Respect is EARNED not demanded and not created in fear.

Shame on parents or soon to be parents who think this is appropriate behavior.

Oh and if you are a parent who does things like this with your child, I also hope child protective services show up at YOUR door as well.

Show more intelligence and maturity than this if you want to earn respect from your children.

Harm None
Peace

reply to post by amazed



THANK YOU.


your not stupid, you actually didn't side with the dad.

if 2012 is the end of the world, maybe we could be a survival team together.


when EVER someone DEMANDS my respect, i will NEVER ******** give it to them.


we must mutually earn each others respect.

Originally posted by Daughter2
So you are saying once teens learn "respect" they will vote against welfare? They don't need to learn respect for authority but respect for EVERYONE.

respect is earned.

people that demand respect are unrespectable.

reply to post by Trexter Ziam

He was ANGRY ... VERY ANGRY ... and that's a no-win situation.

News flash: parents are human. Humans get angry, especially when they are taken advantage of and treated with disrespect. It's not good to be angry, of course, but it is something this girl should have expected. Slap someone else and you are probably going to get slapped back.

He was destructive and vindictive (or is vengeful the right word?).

Yes, he destroyed a laptop computer that had been the weapon of choice his daughter had used on him.

He was wasteful.

Yes, he wasted a laptop and a clip full of cartridges.

He also sent a silent "threat" implying 'the next round of bullets are for you kid'.

I saw no threat of such. What I saw was an implied show of force to emphasize that his daughter is not an adult yet and thus is still under his house rules. He never threatened her with physical harm in any way.

As I have said before, and as he said in the introduction, he had already tried grounding her from the laptop and cell phone for similar situations; it did not work. If one attempts a solution to a problem, and the solution tried does not correct said problem, then one is faced with two choices: allow the problem to persist or try a different solution. I understand some do not see the problem that exists here, but it does still exist. If allowed to continue this disrespectful behavior, this girl will never hold down a decent job, never amount to anything, probably wind up on welfare or worse, living in a drug-infested web of hopelessness. That is typically the end result of such behavior if left unchecked.

Now, what kind of father would you see him to be if he allowed that to happen?

Instead, he tried a new tactic: instead of handling this in private as he had tried before, he went public just as she had gone public with her behavior. By doing so, he embarrassed her tremendously. Instead of simply taking the computer away, he destroyed it violently, emphasizing the fact that her actions had hurt her family. By reading the cause of this action publicly and explaining his actions prior to taking the actions, he has not demonstrated vindictive or vengeful behavior, but rather acts taken in desperation to try and stop her from doing things that will ultimately destroy her life.

This man indicated he wanted to shoot his daughter next? I took it as he demonstrated that he thought more of his daughter than anything, and was willing to sacrifice whatever he had to to teach her to be a productive, happy adult.

It's called 'tough love', and it worked well for centuries. Of course, the alternative is as you described; it has worked badly for a few decades.

TheRedneck

reply to post by Trexter Ziam


the daughter wasn't wrong in her post.

she described that way she honestly felt.

and she felt angry. oppressed. a slave.


she felt as if she was wronged.

and what does the father do? wrong her again.

im going to laugh SO hard when that girl doesn't pay him back a single CENT.