You Control Your Emotions, Not Others

Originally posted by Sahabi
reply to post by Balkan

 

Have you seen people that get overly angry and outraged for the most mundane of reasons nearly everyday?
Have you seen people get emo and depressed about everything nearly all the time?

Again, emotions aren't as simple as you're making them out to be. There can be complex reasons a person may never figure out about themselves as to why they allow others to control their emotions or why they react in anger.

and ultimately, being able to choose how to feel.

You don't have as much control over how you feel as you think. As a social animal, not only will people regularly dictate how we feel at times, but our health/physical body has a huge effect on our emotional state.

We allow others to control our emotional state for many reasons. But by doing so, we are forfeitting our free will and our self-empowerment.

'Free will' is an illusion. In reality, your emotional state is genetically preterminded at conception and is then conditioned and molded by other people (usually your parents) in your infancy/childhood. Some people grow up so out of balance emotionally that a seemingly insignificant social interaction will send them into panic attacks or other emotional outbursts. They will likely never have an semblance of control.

Anger is not a 'negative'. Feeling anger over a loved one that passed isn't negative. Feeling anger over an injustice isn't negative.

Anger is a natural emotion. It is instinctual; a fear-based reaction. Surpressing anger isn't healthy. I know you didn't state this, but I felt it was worth repeating.

Seeking social status is also one of our core instincts as a human animal. In the process we are controlling others emotions and giving up control of our emotions in a complex process, all the time, in order to maintain our social standing. When you want that raise at work, you kiss your boss' heiny. When someone attacks your child, you naturally react in anger. When you walk out of your place in the day, most of us where cloths. We do these things because our emotional health and social worth is dependant for the most part on what others think of us.

Anyone that tells you they truly don't care what others' think is usually lying or just ignorant about themselves.

As i See it you should acknowledge negativity but don't let it ruin your Day. Acknowledge it, Learn from it, Than Boom, Go back into your happy state of mind. I had the worst fall season last year. But since i December i turned a new leaf and now i rarely get upset, cause i laugh at people trying to bring me down. Just understand the situation and make the best of it, and if its something terribly bad, Just Live your life. my 2 Cents

I completely agree with the OP but have yet to find a socially acceptable implementation of this in western society (or maybe anywhere else in the world). People use their emotions to communicate, it's woven in speech and everything we do, it's part of culture. Don't show (the expected) emotions or only 1 (being kind) and people will suspect you of many things and most of them will be negative because, they don't control their emotion which is normal behaviour, you do something else so you're different, part of a minority to be avoided.

Yup, OP is totally right.

There is a lot that we cant control, but what really matters is how we feel,. and that, my friends, we CAN control.
Pain can be imposed, suffering is optional.