Black Light

I'm 43, a few years ago I was researching all kind of connections between religions, quantum mechanics, occult works and even the tarot. It was tons and tons of work. At the end I had 1 page left. I got up from behind my desk to get a cup of coffee, and suddely everything changed.
My room and the objects were still the same, but their meaning was gone. everything looked new and different.
Next I started to lose my own self, my ego. Only the core remained, the outer shell of how we see ourselfs just fell of as an old jacked.
I felt more scared then ever before, I couldn't get back to my normal sence of thinking, but
I senced a clarity of thought like I never had before, I could 'feel' what infinity was, very scaring. That clarity and the terror together I call 'Black light' because there are no real words to discribe it.

Afther that just sat on the floor for an hour or so, everytime the feeling started to come back, I was in panic and it felt like I was drowning.
I started drinking afther that, 3 months later I admitted myself in the hospital, they told me later that the amount of alcohol in my blood was deadly. I'm telling this so you'll know how afraid i was of seeing that 'black light'

They did all kinds of tests, they ruled out pshychose or epilepsie, they made scans of my head, put electrodes on my head and examined my blood..I was there for 3 months. But they couldn't explain what I was feeling. (This was in the best hospital in Belgium, UZ.Gent)

So, afther these tests, I knew I wasn't going nuts and my body was in perfect health. When I got home I destroyed the research and avoided reading anything that was paranormal, an intrest I had from the age of 12. Over the next 2 years the 'black light' started to come less and less, now its gone.

It changed me because I now am far less interested in material things. I used to be frustrated because I couldn't afford the things I wanted. that's all gone.
Slowly I'm getting interested again in my old hobby, so I was wondering if someone has felt the same, or knows anything about this
The only thing i've read that comes close was a warning in a book about Zen, saying it was unwise to try to achieve enlightment without help or training, because one could fall into Bardo (or something like that)
Somekind of false or half-enlightment I guess. It's supposed to be a pretty scary experience.

Well that's my story, other then a lucid dream or two I haven't seen or experienced very strange things in my life.
I'm pretty sceptic in nature but i'm also a seeker an have done experiments with voices on tape, camera's ect.. Never found anything,

Thanks for reading this.

So the hospital ran all these tests....why? Why did they keep you for 3 months?

Lots of expense for what:? Im not saying it never happened, just seems odd that a hospital would keep you in, and run all these tests for no medical reason.

Originally posted by loves a conspiricy
So the hospital ran all these tests....why? Why did they keep you for 3 months?

Lots of expense for what:? Im not saying it never happened, just seems odd that a hospital would keep you in, and run all these tests for no medical reason.

maybe...
Telepath Goes to Hospital for Help, But Gets Victimized Instead

Subject: Microchipping people in their heads as a form of mind control. Have you heard of it?
From: James
Date: Thu, September 1, 2011
To: Ken Adachi

Hello Ken Adachi,

My name is James (xxxx). I'm a very powerful telepath or at least I was until I had mental breakdown and went into a hospital because of a year of psionic battles and torment from Middle Eastern psychics which wore me down mentally.

Well anyway, I ended up in the hospital in a waiting room for the psych ward. The doctors injected me in each hip with a syringe. I thought I would just go to sleep and wake up in the waiting room, but when I did, my left calf muscle had a puncture hole almost to the bone in the center of it. My right bicep was punctured as well. Something hurt at the base of my skull as well. I felt a hole back on the right side of it.

I have heard one time at a place called Fierce, this woman that owned it. Her brother lost it and they chipped his head. I have not gone to the dr to get it x-rayed yet, but still have the scars. The one on my bicep won't heal. I think because I'm bipolar, no one will listen to me. I think I'll get them x-rayed. Have you ever heard of this being done before?

James
****
Hello James,

It's a big mistake to go into a hospital for anything, and psychiatric hospitals are the worst of all. You have special abilities and the Control Boys don't want you to have those abilities, so they're going to track you wherever you go and do a number on you whenever you give them the opportunity--such as checking into a hospital. Even people who are ordinary in every way --in many instances--are microchipped in hospitals without their knowledge or consent. For a number of years now, some hospitals have been microchipping newborns without the parent's knowledge or consent. Any sort of vaccination received in a hospital today can include nano technology microchips as part of the vaccine. Most people who were dumb enough to fall for the 2009 Swine Fly 'pandemic' ruse and got themselves vaccinated in 2009 or 2010, also got themselves microchipped with the nano technology mixed in with the vaccine.

There MAY be a few private hospitals or religious organization hospitals who aren't under the thumb of the NWO intel agencies, but the vast majority of hospitals have staff and equipment in place to mind control and program you, implant you, drug you up and do whatever they want including erase your memories or create memories, or kill you off in some disguised manner.

Jim Keith, 48, a gutsy NWO investigator and writer, would be alive today if he didn't make the fatal mistake of going into a hospital in September 1999 for a minor knee operation from which he -unfortunately- failed to survive. The hospital cover story was that Jim got a blood clot that traveled to his lungs in the immediate wake of his minor operation, and that it killed him. However, the Coroner's Report listed the cause of his death as "blunt force trauma"

educate-yourself.org...

sounds like op may have been "cured" of psychic ability #cough# mental issues and has
lost his abilities #cough# delusions

probably got all his vaccines as a bonus

reply to post by Morrel


Hi Morrell.

I wish I had time at the moment to really get in to this with you but I see that you are in good company so far on this thread.

Just wanted to let you know that I seemed to have gotten myself into a similar predicament at 32. Yours sounds just like mine and I was exposing myself (read; researching and developing manically) the same materials that you mention. Close enough, anyhow.

Just wanted to let you know that I am still here, I survived, and it will only get better. There are others like you; just wanted to let you know so you did not feel weird or anything.

We should start a club or something: "Hi, my name is Frater210, and I accidentally dismantled my personality with the Western Occult Tradition".

"Hi, Frater210".




P.S. I re read your OP a couple of times and wanted to share this: for me it was the Sun, Morrell. I was like a vampire for quite a long time. I felt like the Sun's light had become punishing to me. I could not be out at certain times when the Sun was at certain angles of the afternoon. That part only lasted for about 3 weeks then it became a duller pain. I remember it all very distinctly and since you mention it I am so glad that time has passed. I know you will find it too. It feels so good to no longer be the accursed of Aeolus and Sol.

reply to post by Morrel




2nd

reply to post by Morrel


Where the hell did you go, man? You OK??

Lots of people dumping their threads this weekend. Sheesh.

Be well, Night Ranger.

reply to post by loves a conspiricy


I was there for 3 months because I wanted, they didn't 'keep' me.
I did go home in the week-ends afther the first month.
The health care system is rather good here in Belgium, it didn't cost me a lot, about 400 dollars a month including food and free coffee all day. Most of the money was for the tests.
I stayed that long because I wanted to know what it was, and I really didn't function very well anymore. I'd walk down the hall when that feeling came back and had to sit down and I had trouble breathing. But the hardest thing was explaining what I felt,
It's like trying to tell a caveman how a computer works, Or the shock that he would get if you showed him the earth from outer space. I imagine It would be hard for him to get back to his daily routine afther that.

I never had hallucinations or used drugs. I like to know what things are and where they come from, thats why I was doing that research. I did the same with lot's of other subjects like aviation, music, languages, legends, bows, archeology....I'm not 'into' any of the religions and other stuff I was reading about at the time.

The reason for starting this topic is just to see if there are people who know something about this, because I still think about it every day and this seems like a good place to ask about it.

Thanks for the responses.