The Alpha and Omega [D&R]

I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty. Rev.1.8


It had began so long ago I’d almost forgotten that it had ever been the other way around. It was life - conscious life - that had provided the energy, the momentum which had pushed the all things physical further and further apart. Now my body - the universe - had long since ceased being the dynamic entity that had spawned so many different life forms. The stars no longer shone and everything had grown cold and seemingly still. But it wasn’t. Once that last individuated entity had departed physical existence, the momentum of expansion slowed, and had actually begun to reverse. Gravity finally took over and everything which once had seemed so distant began rushing back to be together all over again.

Indeed the total absence of light seemed somehow to make what I knew to be inevitable all the more real.

I had waited for this moment for a very long time. When the last of my children, my thoughts and dreams, the last of avatar of my own experience had returned to the fold through the realization that there was no one and no-thing else, I truly had become one once again. Now all that was left was to gather together the last of the physical, the frame work which had made individuated life in this universe possible.

I had experienced everything there was to experience, felt every emotion, every sensation. Indeed my grand plan had worked out perfectly (as of course I knew it would). Life in this physical plane had been the most rewarding incarnation I had yet experienced and I exalted in the full realization of being the Creator and Source of All.

But now I was tired, so very tired. And the end was drawing nearer and nearer.

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And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle. His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire. I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore. Rev.1.13-14,18.


I had reincarnated one last time as an ode to the greatest experience I could have ever imagined. I had once again portioned off a small part of my consciousness so I could gain the experience of being present as a conscious individuated entity during the final moments of the universe. Although unlike any of my other incarnations I realized the Truth this time. I am everything that ever was, ever has, and (for the small ‘time’ that was left) ever will be. I Am that I Am. They called me God once, but in truth there was never a ‘they’, for it was always just me. Me and my thoughts…….my dreams……

Time and space - illusory dividers of matter and energy, processes I designed to make the divided portions of my conscious believe that everything was not happening all at once in the exact same place - would create my end, the end of the universe in a way more spectacular than anything any ‘one’ had ever experienced ‘before’.

This sensation was the last I would ever experience. My body was drawing closer together at an ever increasing pace. It was a rush like nothing I had ever felt, and a feeling unrivaled since the day I burst into existence. And yet it was totally different.

Ahead I saw super nova flashes and I knew the moment of finality was drawing nigh. Black holes, planets, gases……..every physical ‘organ’ within this body of mine was coming together in the most glorious way I could imagine, though I knew it could happen no other way. It was quite dark still for the gravitational pull allowed very little light to escape and it was only my proximity to the point of universal convergence that allowed me to make out anything at all.

The little asteroid I perched upon flew forth toward the darkened mass at an incredible pace. I remembered the inhabitants of this rock once called it ‘Earth’, and it was a place of incredible beauty, truly some of my finest work. Some of my greatest experiences had happened here; indeed the inhabitants almost destroyed the place themselves. But the Truth catches up with us all in the end, and it was a truth they realized just in time. The wrongs had been reversed and they had lived their last days in the true glory that physical existence was meant to be, before crossing the boundary into the non-physical realm of enlightenment. And then the little star which once sustained life on Earth finally died, annihilating all that was left. This rock was the last surviving piece of that once glorious planet, and had long been as cold and dead as the rest of the universe had become.

Closer and closer toward the convergence I flew. Now, not just light temporarily escaped the pull of gravity, but sound as well. Low rumbles, echoing the sounds which once sang the glories of creation, now spoke only of destruction and totality. Everything corporeal merged into one hugely dense darkened mass. Light flashed all around me and there was more energy, more excitement within this old body of mine than there had been for a very long time. The dark mass loomed ever larger before me, lightening crackled through the atmosphere of primordial gases. Faster and faster I flew, closer and closer I got to the end. Through the instincts of a distant incarnation in a long dead body I held out my hand and turned my head, as if this would somehow counter this rush towards the inevitable. And then…… nothing…… there was nothing. Every last piece of the physical had now been incorporated. There was only the void and would be for evermore.


After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven. And immediately I was in the spirit: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne. Rev.4.1-2

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Realization dawned. I was conscious, a consciousness. An entity of nothing but pure potential, an awareness of all, but yet there was nothing to be aware of……


In the beginning ........the earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Gen.1.1-2


A question arose, a thought, my first thought. “What am I?” Looking inwards (for where else was there to look), I realized I already knew the answer. I Am that I Am. The Source of all, the beginning. I am the thinker of the thoughts, the dreamer of the dreams. I am everything. But yet……as of yet…….there was nothing. Nothing but my own conscious being. It was beautiful, it was all so still, just the ebb and flow of my musings and meditations. But yet there had to be more. I had not yet begun the dream. I was more awake than ever, more alive than ever. But yet it meant nothing. For there were no things and no thoughts. There was just me and the sea of potentiality upon which my conscience floated.

I looked inwards ever further, so far inwards my conscious became but a single point, a singularity if you will. And within myself I saw the promise of all I could become. The promise of all things manifest stretched before me; I could see the end and it was glorious, even as I was at the start. And it was then I knew I had to fulfill this dream. I had to become my destiny. To know myself, I must forget myself. In order to create I must lose the knowledge of being a creator. To awaken my potential, I must fall asleep and let my dreams become the reality.

For I am the Source of all that has is and will ever be. But in order to understand this I cannot know this. Everything created will have the full potential as the creator; indeed each entity I become will create their own destiny in order to fulfill my own. But they, I, will never fully make this realization until the end. For due to the veil which is time and space it will seem as if the universe will exist outside of them, when in fact it exists within. It is their true body.

To fulfill my destiny I must not know it.

But everything will still be one. Everything will still be me. And connecting everyone, connecting all things will be an attraction, a force, a reminder that we are all one and the same, and a process which will eventually lead them all home. This attraction will be felt by all which exist, and must be honored for all things to progress back from whence they came.

This attraction is called Love. And it will exist long after the stars have ceased to shine, and the universe is cold and lifeless again.


If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1Cor.13.1-3,8-10,13


And so bursting forth from the singularity of my thoughts I will become the full light of my potential - the potential of all things manifest. And even as I begin to lose the knowledge of myself as creator, creation begins to take form. And once again I become lost. Lost in the physical in order to find myself in spirit. A creator lost in his creation, the cycle begins again.


And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw the light knew that it was good. Gen.1.3-4




Though I am not Christian, I am spiritual and have always loved the metaphors contained within the Bible as a beautiful description of the beginning of the known universe.

If I have offended anyone by using biblical versus within my story please forgive me and know it was done only with the greatest respect possible.

All biblical versus taken from www.biblegateway.com...

reply to post by 1littlewolf


I loved it!

Take a walk in my shoes and you will see where I have been.

Cheers
Akushla

reply to post by 1littlewolf


Awesome story!!!!
Kind of along what I beleive too!
S&F!!!

Thanks guys. I'm beginning to realize I do my best work on 5 hours sleep with 3yo and 1yo kids hovering over me randomly pressing buttons. The original story contained a lot of 'lkwertnjertermnv' and 'kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkllllllllllllnbbbbbbbb' parts.

I actually thought of an alternate ending where the universal consciousness is reborn as just a regular human. If I have enough time I may type it up...