Diary From A Zetan

Translated using The Intergalactic Zetan/English Dictionary
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085632 (Zetan Time)

Crap! Disinfo duty. Again! It's not like it was my fault that kid managed to take that blurry photo of our ship last night - so why should I be punished? And what the hell was he doing there anyway? Stupid kids. He was probably out in the woods smoking that stuff they call weed or something... If I get my hands on that brat, I'll freakin use an X-large rod on him.

I don't know what my boss has against me anyway. I mean the dude's been on my case ever since I joined The Earth Group. This totally unfair disinfo duty is just another example of it. Must be some inferiority complex or some crap like that. Probably because he's not a pure Zetan.

Man, I'm such a loser! I can't believe I thought it was a good idea to join TEG in the first place. I mean sure, great benefits, free traveling, decent pay (at least that's what they tell you). But that's actually pretty much B.S. when it comes down to it. Monitoring these humanoid creatures gets boring - fast. They look the same way, do the same things and most of them really can't seriously be considered intelligent life-forms. I mean come on.

And why the hell do we need to do this disinfo-stuff anyways? You only have to read a couple of the posts on those conspiracy-boards to realize they're doing a pretty good job of making up total nonsense all by themselves. Like on that one place called Above Top Secret. Those guys freakin crack me up! The stuff I write there doesn't even get close to the crazy-ass stuff they make up.

Oh well. Gotta catch some Z's. Long day tomorrow.

Woc out.

095632 Zetan Time

Today was a good day. The guys at engineering found a the problem with the cloaker on our surveillance ship, so I'm finally off the hook. Not a minute too soon either. Disinfo duty is the worst! Anyways...

At the moment, I'm setting up some equipment to prepare for the abduction trip this evening. Lately, we've had problems with a couple of the human specimens waking up in the middle of the examination, so I'm going to have to make sure that doesn't happen again. Believe me, you don't want one of those things freaking out in a ship. Though we've been quite lucky handling the freak-outs before, it could get ugly. Personally, I think the problem lies in our old stun-rods, though my boss just won't hear any of that. As soon as I mention it, he starts preaching about how they have always used those rods and never had problems with them before. I think he's getting old.

Btw, I can't wait for our new suits to arrive because I'm getting real tired of the ones we have now. They're just too tight around the neck, plus they cause some serious itching in the crotch. I mean, everybody knows this. They look dorky too...

Tonight, we're supposed to pick up twelve targets. I just wish they'd pick targets that lived closer to each other. Now, we're going to have to fly around three different time zones. I don't get the point of that. Well, at least I'm out of disinfo duty.

Woc out.