I come baring gifts....

I would like to begin by stating that I prefer sharp cheddar and Ritz crackers with my whine. With that said, hello and hi! I am a former member and current lurker. You may remember me as MsAmen or TheMsAmen however it’s most likely that you don’t remember me and I’m ok with this. I’m re-introducing myself to expose my insanity in hopes that I may be able to um...bare-ass myself out of a ridiculous depression.


My Current Endless Mental Rant ( feel free to skip ahead to the gifts section unless you desire to strum the world's smallest violin) ....


My apartment needs painting and electronic cabling is the focal point of my decor.

I’m 28 single and celibate (The celibacy is a real issue)

I work two jobs just as most do in my demographic.

I smoke cigarettes. (Evidently smoking is offensive to most men. Who wants to kiss an ashtray, any takers?)

Did I mention I’m single ( I think this rant has much more to do with that than I would care to admit )

My mother lives 1860 miles away and needs money I don’t have.

I don’t have a bed and haven’t had one for nearly two years.

I sleep on my pleather couch which has a semi permanent butt print

I am near ten thousand dollars in debt and have never had a credit card or attended college.

My car has frame damage and a headlight has officially died.

I live in Florida under the jurisdiction of Rick Scott (a man formerly known as the devil). I could write a book on why Florida should change the state flag to one which celebrates its status as the country's flaccid penis.

I could lose fifteen pounds and declare myself as sexy however I can’t seem to stop eating pizza or use the exercise cd's I purchased off of an infomercial.

I purchassed an exercise program off an infomercial (irregular sleep is the path to over annalyzing everything)

I have no medical insurance

I’ve changed my ATS account three times due to forgetting my password and hackers hacking my email.

I have friends whom love me but wish I would get over myself or just get out of the house (I suffer panic attacks putting on a dress)

I need to get over myself

I’m a procrastinator

I’m imperfect


Gifts.....
I am providing you with links to some of my favorite documentaries as a token of gratitude for enduring this self gratifying introduction.

Streets of Plenty

An adventure of homelessness…. I love this guy’s enthusiasm and honesty. I can’t say it relates to my post but it’s still a great doc.

Human Resources

I work in the field of behavior modification. I gotta say this doc is disturbing. As a side note use the sockshare or putlocker link to watch this. Let me watch this is……… well just explore the site and enjoy.

Tribal Wives

An adventure of personal discovery…. I would cut off my pinky toe to have this experience

The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive

Me in a nut shell

Waking life

Philosophy meets a hallucinogenic trip. I warn you not to watch this if you’ve had a few too many.

That's got to be the best intro i've read!

Hello and welcome to Ats (again) from the UK.

reply to post by Sobeit

Excellent re-intro. I felt compelled to reply. Welcome (back) to ATS. Despite your self-proclaimed "issues", you have one of the most important things you could ever hope for which will at least partly help you...a sense of humour! Kissing an ashtray? *Pulls out a packet of tobacco as he can't afford ciggies*
I'm 40, single and celibate. Does that make you feel any better? Good!
You sound really lucky though. 2 jobs? Some of us don't even have one, don't be greedy now.
I had to smile at many of your points but for fear of revealing too many embarrassing details about my own life I will just say "thanks for sharing". Permanent butt print on the couch sounds like a good way of recognising your couch though.
Imperfect? Aren't we all dear? You brightened up my Sunday afternoon a little anyway. Thanks again.

I'm with stupid.
We're all screwed up.

Question though - you work in behaviour modification, have you considered applying it to yourself, if you're that unhappy?

I'd love to hear more about what you do.
Welcome back, anyway... you'll fit right in here

reply to post by Sobeit

I watched all your linked vids except the Stephen Fry one about bi-polar disorder as I've seen that one before. I've had a most cerebral Sunday. Thanks!

reply to post by Sobeit


Hi friend.

Since you shared; I'll share some as well.
I live in my own house which is completely paid off with my girlfriend and child. I live in Canada. I've never graduated high school... I dropped out twice. I only need to do one course which would be paid for but I choose not too. I work for myself part time. I have no debt. I have two credit cards. I own a Mustang and a Stratus, both work fine and look great. Our only other source of income is E.I. and the government helps with Child allocation. I just took a really nice vacation, went to a wine fest, stayed in a hotel suite for a week, sipped fine wine by the hot tub and ate really expensive food. I'm watching TV on a 55" LED 3d TV.

...and I don't smoke.

That being said, perhaps you might want to move to Canada and quit smoking.

Welcome (back) to ATS!

You need some serious lovin...

The smoking thing.....I'm not telling you to get kissed.

There are people in much worse shape.

Here's the plan....Go by alcohol and smokes.

Because if you follow the plan I'm suggesting...

When you're done....That smoke will taste mighty good.

Oh....Welcome...

Best intro ever!

Fantastic intro.

Welcome back. Look forward to reading more of your posts.

Oh! And I have just fallen in love with you.

I'll tend the Grammar Nazi path with your title. Are you bearing gifts, or baring your gifts. It appears you are female, so the whole baring thing has me confused.

You are one of the most interesting individuals I have ever come across (maybe I don't come across that often).

I am intrigued

...／l、 ...................................................................................................
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
　l、 ~ヽ
　じしf_, )ノ

reply to post by Sobeit


Someone's got to say it...

Pics or it didn't happen...



Great intro - and welcome or re-greets or um....something.

Look forward to seeing you 'round the boards.

Nice intro
I gotta find time to watch the last one you linked.

reply to post by Sobeit


Welcome!
You'll fit right in between all us, crazies.

And, yeah, has to be the best introduction on ATS (and anywhere else) as far as I can tell.
Cheers!

I wanted to take the time to thank you all for such a warm welcome! I hope to impart my gratitude by replying to a few points posted in your replies and leaving an extra goodie ( gluten free ). Nibble the deliciousness of knowledge.
The Teachings of Jiddu Krishnamurti

Originally posted by Awen24

Question though - you work in behaviour modification, have you considered applying it to yourself, if you're that unhappy?
I'd love to hear more about what you do.

Originally posted by Riffrafter

Someone's got to say it...
Pics or it didn't happen...

I felt it was best to reply to both posts simultaneously

I work with the developmentally delayed and disabled as a behavior analysis assistant. Each individual is unique. On a day to day basis, I could be spit on, slapped, kicked or hugged. My job entails that I directly observe each person’s environment, social interaction, self stimulation and response to stimuli. Conclusions in regards to adaptive behavior are derived either naturally or via contrived trials. I record and relay my observations to the overseeing analyst whom devises a behavioral modification plan in the event that a maladaptive behavior is observed. I then implement that plan responsively with negative or positive reinforcement. Hoarders are particularly interesting,

( No, this is not my scuffed and poorly decorated apartment )



Pictured above is me, mid-way through a third day of environmental manipulation. Bagging and hauling trash sounds so much classier when you throw around big words. And though my eyes scream fire up another doobie in this fantastic photograph, I assure you it’s merely an optic reaction to roach bombs.

Question: You work in behavior modification, have you considered applying it to yourself, if you're that unhappy?

Answer: I was diagnosed as Manic Depressive (or Bi-Polar) at the age of 11. Over a four year period I was effectively transformed from a child to a pharmaceutical guinea pig. This experience (alongside my current and past observation of others) has tainted my view, in regards to obtaining a healthy mental state through the administration of medication. I became convinced that for me and perhaps for others the “happy pill” was not a path to improvement but an endless pool.

Behavioral Science provides reasoning which can be applied. Self application of reason requires we confront ourselves objectively and accept our inherent flaws. My work allows me to see myself, as I am. The good, the bad and the ugly within are reflected in the lives of the individuals I assist. We laugh, we cry, we grow together.

I’m not unhappy. Sometimes my world feels flat. I’m self educated, holding a hard knock degree which isn’t printed on pretty paper. I’m under paid ( too many are ) and live in a society which seems to value what you are or are not, rather than who you are or what could become.

Originally posted by Lidless

That being said, perhaps you might want to move to Canada and quit smoking.

My lungs are in full agreement with you. Canada, hmmm…My nipples are sensitive and prefer to be toasty warm in the sunshine but I suppose I shouldn’t make important decisions with my tits.

Originally posted by whyamIhere

You need some serious lovin...

Yes.

Originally posted by Druid42

Are you bearing gifts, or baring your gifts. It appears you are female, so the whole baring thing has me confused.

I have a vagina which is currently not capable of bearing links but maybe one day….. Till then I will have to settle for baring my soul to you fine folks on ATS.

Originally posted by nolabel

I have just fallen in love with you.

My lungs are in full agreement with you. Canada, hmmm…My nipples are sensitive and prefer to be toasty warm in the sunshine but I suppose I shouldn’t make important decisions with my tits.

best line ever !!!!

welcome (back) from the UK, as a side note, until recently i was in a similar position, but changed my life around after meeting the right person online
so chin up, things could be worse

hahah some funny stuff in this threat, but welcome to ats!

reply to post by Sobeit

I’m not unhappy. Sometimes my world feels flat. I’m self educated, holding a hard knock degree which isn’t printed on pretty paper. I’m under paid ( too many are ) and live in a society which seems to value what you are or are not, rather than who you are or what could become.

Originally posted by Lidless That being said, perhaps you might want to move to Canada and quit smoking.

My lungs are in full agreement with you. Canada, hmmm…My nipples are sensitive and prefer to be toasty warm in the sunshine but I suppose I shouldn’t make important decisions with my tits.

LMAO! I can't tell you what you aren't, but I can tell you that you are a helluva good writer.

God, I love it when I come across another "mind". Makes me all tingly....