PETF Lawsuit Against Starbucks Claiming Constitutional Rights For Oranges

SAN DIEGO (AP) — A federal court is being asked to grant constitutional rights to five oranges and a tanferine who sit in a fruit bowl — an unprecedented and perhaps quixotic legal action that is nonetheless likely to stoke an ongoing, intense debate at America's law schools over expansion of animal rights.

The chances of the suit succeeding are slim, according to legal experts not involved in the case; any judge who hews to the original intent of the authors of the amendment is unlikely to find that they wanted to protect citrus fruit. But PETF relishes engaging in the court of public opinion, as evidenced by its provocative anti-fur and pro-vegan campaigns.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Fruit is accusing the Starbucks of keeping five tasty Oranges and a shriveled Tangerine in conditions that violate the 13th Amendment ban on slavery. Starbucks depicted the suit as baseless. PETF Spokewoman Cynthia Gobglow demanded, "Why shouldn't oranges have civil rights? We've already given them to blacks."

Originally posted by sceptredisle
SAN DIEGO (AP) — A federal court is being asked to grant constitutional rights to five oranges and a tanferine who sit in a fruit bowl — an unprecedented and perhaps quixotic legal action that is nonetheless likely to stoke an ongoing, intense debate at America's law schools over expansion of animal rights.

The chances of the suit succeeding are slim, according to legal experts not involved in the case; any judge who hews to the original intent of the authors of the amendment is unlikely to find that they wanted to protect citrus fruit. But PETF relishes engaging in the court of public opinion, as evidenced by its provocative anti-fur and pro-vegan campaigns.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Fruit is accusing the Starbucks of keeping five tasty Oranges and a shriveled Tangerine in conditions that violate the 13th Amendment ban on slavery. Starbucks depicted the suit as baseless. Spokewoman Cynthia Gobglow demanded, "Why shouldn't oranges have civil rights? We've already given them to blacks."

So, there is nothing else to concentrate efforts around besides this?

Ive seen it all.....is the fed behind this to create a distraction lol?

reply to post by sceptredisle


Dunno what this is, but you made it all up...

reply to post by sceptredisle


Well for starters an Orange is not a living organism, it ceases to be a living organism when its cut from the tree,the tree is alive but it is not.Its like cutting your toenails and asking that the clippings should be given constitutional rights.

As there is no source I am taking this as a satire on the Peta stance in regards to Sea world. While I understand the frustration, your analogy without proper frame may confuse a number of individuals.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Fruit??? I thought that was a gay activist group!!!

Seriously though, while I agree that this article is probably satire, what if it isn't? Where does it stop? PETC (clothing), PETFF (fossil fuels), PETCC (cartoon characters)? What about PETAL (all life)...that's something that we can ALL get behind...
peace...

reply to post by amongus


pun intended?

As there is no source, I'm going to say that this is either something that you made up or some article from the Onion.

reply to post by LobeDethFaurt


It stops when people stop giving credence to PETA; Or when PETB (botany) becomes as popular as PETA and humanity starts starving.

Sorry, this is a ridiculous analogy. Oranges cannot feel anything, they are not sentient, contrary to whales. Animal rights do not cover fruit, too.

While I consider some things PETA does to be a bit over the top, they have my support, at least they are trying to do the right thing.

I believe he's making fun of the fact that PETA, filed a lawsuit claiming that SeaWorld was violating the 13th amendment rights that their whales supposedly have against 'slavery'.

I don't remember anywhere in the constitution where it mentions Cetecean rights. Maybe I slept through that part of history class in high school...

reply to post by auraelium


The seeds within the orange are little baby trees that are murdered whenever an orange is violated! I am for the rights of unplanted orange trees, the fact that our society would treat baby trees in such a way is absolutely despicable! I'm going to organize a protest, make signs, the whole 9 yards and storm my local starbucks and demand better treatment for all fruits. And get a pumpkin spice latte while I'm there.

that's gotta be from the Onion

jeez

Well if corporations can have constitutional protection then oranges should be able to as well.