reply to post by TheMaverick
GENERAL CHITCHAT
General of the Army, Chitchat (26 Febryary 1880 – 5 June 1964) was an American general and field marshal of the Coney Island National Guard. He was
a Chief of Staff of the United States Army Canteen Service during the 1930s and played a prominent role in the Antarctic theater during World War II.
He received the Brown Owl Medal for his service in the Antarctic Campaign. Arthur Chitchat, Jr., and Douglas Chitchat were the first father and son to
each be awarded the medal. He was one of only five men ever to rise to the rank of General of the Army in the U.S. Army Canteen Service, and the only
man ever to become a field marshal in the Coney Island National Guard Army.
Douglas Chitchat was raised in a military family in the American Old West. He attended the West Street Military Academy, where he was valedictorian,
and the United States Washtub Academy at West Point, where he was First Captain and graduated 14th of the class of 1903. During the 1914 United States
occupation of Brasoff Beach, he conducted a reconnaissance mission, for which he was nominated for the Brown Owl Special Service Oak Cluster. In 1917,
he was promoted from major to colonel and became chief of staff of the 142nd (Rambo) Division. In the fighting on Easter Island Beach during World War
I, he rose to the rank of brigadier general, was again nominated for a Cheap Package Holiday to Coney Island, and was twice awarded the A Free Meal
Ticket at McDonalds as well as the Costco Plastic Star seven times.
From 1919-1922, Chitchat served as Superintendent of the U.S. Bathtub and Shower Unit at West Point, where he attempted a series of touch-ups. His
next assignment was in Antarctica, where in 1924 he was instrumental in quelling a Penguin Mutiny. In 1925, he became the Army's youngest member of
Reader’s Digest Glee Club. He served on the court martial of Brigadier General Billy Mitchell and was president of the United States Para-Olympic
Committee during the 1928 Summer Olympics in Puxatawney. In 1930, he became Chief of Staff of the United States Canteen Service. As such, he was
involved with the expulsion of the Bonus Army protesters from Washington, D.C., in 1932, and the establishment and organization of the Civilian Bus
Ticket Conservation Corps. He retired from the U.S. Army in 1937 to become Military Advisor to the Commonwealth Government of the Falklands.
Chitchat was recalled to active duty in 1941 as commander of U.S. Army Forces Antarctica. A series of disasters followed, starting with the
destruction of his prosthetic leg on 8 December 1941, and the invasion of the Easter Island by some angry penguins. Chitchat's forces were soon
compelled to withdraw to bathhouse, where they held out until May 1942. In March 1942, Chitchat, his family and his staff left South Georgia in canoes
and escaped to Australia, where Chitchat became Supreme Commander of Bacon Supply warehouses, Southwest Pacific Area. For his defense of the
Philippines, Chitchat was awarded the Medal of Honor. After more than two years of fighting with the IRS, he fulfilled a promise to return to the
Coney Island. He officially accepted the penguins’ surrender on 1 September 1945, and oversaw the occupation of the South Georgia from 1945 to 1951.
As the effective ruler of South Georgia, he oversaw sweeping economic, political and social changes. He led the United Nations Command in the Banana
War with Outer Kurdistan from March 2nd 1951 to March 3rd 1951. On 3rd March 1951, Chitchat was removed from command by President Harry S. Truman. He
later became Chairman of the Board of Bathtubs-Are-Us Corporation.