My First Exploration of my Divine Being

First off, Thank you for reading this, I know it is a bit long, but this all happened last night early this morning and I felt like I needed to get it out to anyone who would be interested and so I dont forget.


Let me start off by saying that I have tried meditating a few times, Being very interested in the possibility of diving deep within myself has always intrigued me however, Everytime I try I feel like the emotions and anything around me is distracting me and I can never clear my mind enough.

The other night my girlfriend and I were heading to bed, lying there she began to fall asleep. I rolled over and remembered laying really straight and opening my palms at my side, when all of the sudden I began seeing this what I later found out as being a Chinese man, I felt some sort of a connection with him. I could see the surrounding area the small temple in the hills where he was at meditating, I asked his name and it was Khoy-Seng Gengh. By this time I was saying everything I saw out loud, and my girlfriend had taken interest and began writing it all down for me I guess. She began to ask me what time period i was in, but I was unable to tell. I looked deeper and felt that this Man was actually myself in a previous life, and he was mastering a skill called "Patience" (my father and myself both have a very high tolerance for patience and understanding / listening I always felt it was one of my best traits in this high stressed world). I came to the conclusions that this man mastered patience and now I am him reincarnated, trying to learn and master the next skill. It was at this time that I began to realize that life and everything on this world was just a big lesson and you retain everything you learn in past lives subconsciously to then shape your being.

A little back story really fast, I am 22, originally from Michigan in USA, Became really interested in computers at the age of 12 like most people in my age group. I took interest in graphic design around age 14, and eventually went to college in Florida for it, recently just completing my Masters Degree. While I was studying I began to reject my abilities to design, Having such a past in it and confidence I felt that I just up one day lost it. It's been around 2 years since I have actually designed anything after having that feeling, (which was coupled with waking up feeling like Anti-gravity technology was simple and completely possible).

Continuing on I realized that my next step in the skills that I was here to master was called "Creativity" Feeling like I lack creativity and being too technical, I began to hear that I was placed here to have Patience mastered and to begin developing my Creativity. It wasn't until I heard that and realized my purpose for being here that I felt like I understood everything. I began feeling a big spinning feeling in my body that when I explained about these different entry points to my girlfriend still intently listening in to everything I am saying aloud, would change direction of spinning. I never felt sick, but I could feel this energy stirring in forceful directions.

I began to believe that I had made it to that point some how very quickly where people can talk with a divine being during meditation, but I was able to do it aloud and ask anything I wanted, I then realized it was my divine being I was asking questions to, not someone else, when my girlfriend asked me to ask the being his name, I got no response. This lead me to believe that the being is me.

I asked it a question i've always had problems with, "What is religion" and "Why do some people feel so compelled to base their whole life and though process around it", My answer was a bit jumbled until it finally hit me. With one word "Love" I began to wonder about what that meant, and instead my Divine being as I will call it sorted it out in my head for me. Religion is strictly a set of rules created by man to give guidelines to every person, however the spiritual side of religion is teaching Unending Love, to someone whom you've never met in your whole life, yet you Trust and Love so much. This gave me the 3rd Trait that I have not yet completed, the ability to Love anyone and Everyone deeply without ever knowing them.

I felt off though, Odd numbers have always given me problems in my head at a younger age with nervous ticks I guess you can call them, where i'd have to do things in pairs of 2 and 4 and so on, or else I wouldn't feel Even. However I have the ability to just stop doing it if i have to so I was never diagnosed with any sort of OCD or whatever. I never really thought of it as a problem, just something that I dealt with.

But I began to feel off with these 3 traits Patience, Creativity, and Love. I felt like there was one more, I searched and searched my mind it felt like so deep when all of the sudden it popped into my head with a big symbol an Equals sign (=). It was then that I realized the 4th trait is Equality. Saying this my Girlfriend asked me, But isn't Equality just Love… and I responded without even thinking, "No, Equality is the understanding that everyone is equal to yourself". And I began to think about that for a moment, but yet as an example I have no problems with Homosexuals, or Minorities I guess you could call it, I have always believed that I was pretty equal to them, however I then realized that I put them on a pedestal below myself on a hierarchy. Growing up having hatred for some minorities for no real reason at all, mainly just because everyone else did it in school, i began to realize that this was the fourth thing I was sent here to master. Equality, When i said those four items out loud my girlfriend wrote them all down on paper in the dark, I'm still not sure how she did that. But going over those in my head it lead me to my next realization that, mastering these four things comes to a point and that is becoming a divine being yourself.

It felt like thats all we strive for, was to become a divine being and this is our test or schooling, and we redo it successively over and over and over until we learn everything we need. When I looked over at my girlfriend at this time we had turned the light on, yet i was still connected to whatever I was tapping into, I had to use the restroom, I began to look at the paper she was writing on. She drew lines to each of the words and connected them, to my surprise it was a Pyramid. Four sides connecting to one point, each of the four traits I found, connecting to the divine human being at the top.

At this time I felt like I understood so much, and I felt clean, renewed, reborn as I put it. I felt energized in a way I haven't felt in so long. I could tell that my girlfriend was a bit jealous by the way i was explaining every feeling I had, so I asked her if she would like to ask some questions to me to see if i can ask my divine being for her, also allowing me to reconnect again with my divine being so that I can remember the feeling for if I meditate again in the future.

Continued...

Her first question was simple "Who do you see me as" and the first thing that popped into my head was a red pourus rock, something like 8 feet in diameter and 25 feet tall overlooking the ocean in a cove type area. I kept looking deeper trying to find that human being or something that she could relate to because I didn't want to tell her all I saw was a rock… but I told her anyways, From the rock I saw Ships on the ocean from a distance, but i didn't think much of it and never told her out loud. It was then that I saw her face, it was a male somewhat red skinned indian, painted with vertical black and white stripes across his face, he was in a village full of wigwams and when she asked me to ask him his name all I could get was "Tohtimbo" which for some reason didn't seem to appease her very much because she didn't write it down. I remember seeing an animal being roasted over an open fire and felt some sort of connection with it as far as being inside of Tohtimbo. She asked me if there were any skills that she had mastered, and I asked respectively. This brought on a rush of feelings and understanding that all the men were to be Hunters, and he choice was the Spear, and her favorite hunting and just relaxation spot was that rock that I had envisioned earlier. I felt that she didn't know it but was so caught up with trying to fit in with the best Hunters, he had ignored his knack for creativity. Watching him carve the stone for the spear and whittle the stick for the pole of the spear, and tie the two together with strips of leather, I felt these feelings of enjoyment while doing this part, which lead me to believe that it was creativity poking its head out yet ignored by the complications and desire to fit in with the rest of the hunters. I felt that the animal that was in the village cooking earlier was a goat that he had killed from the rock, and he was so happy that he had killed something that would feed many people.

She then went on to say, that she sounded Incan, and I exclaimed "Yes that is it!" that explains the ships I saw earlier coming in the water, This began to get me excited but as she asked if I saw anything else I either was told or believed that I could not dive deeper into what she needed to experience for her self with her own divine being. I then decided not to ask anymore questions and save all the other questions I had for a different time.

With these experiences at hand, I began to feel like I started my trial with Love with my girlfriend, and that we were both drawn together through different walks of life to share our traits with one another. She constantly tells me how I offset everything that she wishes she could be, and when i think about it, the same is true for me. Her creativity, her shyness, her ability to think about things from an emotional perspective. I felt like We were drawn together so I could teach her Patience, and she could teach me Creativity and we could both explore Love.

This was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever felt in my entire life, and I feel like now I need to build upon it and learn more about my past while preparing for the future. It was just so odd that all of this came on so suddenly, but maybe it was time for my divine being to poke its head at me since I was having so many troubles with finding him myself.

So....did you at any time during or before your experience injest a hallucinatory substance such as "shrooms" or anything of the like?

Thanks for sharing your experiance. I would say you have had an awakening of a sort. If you start to feel things or hear strange sounds then don't be afraid. Namaste

reply to post by apushforenlightment


I remember feeling a hand on my head the whole time, an intense pressure, and today I am very happy and smiling all day, it's kinda a different feeling for me, thank you for the response though.

Well..what can I say! This is wonderful, how very lucky you are I am hung up on past lives right now personally, so it gives me a lot of happiness to hear of someone discovering some of their past. I hope you find all you need to know

Dear ATS member -

Thank you for sharing your experience. It is truly humbling and yet comforting to know that someone else has had a similar experience. I thought when I had mine that I was going "off my cracker". But now I know what I personally experienced was real. I have wondered of my past lives and have come to a few revelations myself of what my purpose here this time is and what I still have to accomplish, and they are patience and tolerance.

I also believe that we are all "divine" beings. Even though we all have completely separate lives, families, jobs, feelings, experiences - we ARE all one. My "lessons" are accompanied by feelings and actual deja vu. I have started recording these in diaries. At first, it was unsettling, but now I find comfort. I am able to see how to alter the situation to better help those around me. I can see it in my family too. How the same patterns come around. I don't interfere too much with their decisions but try to lead the conversation so they can perceive the best approach. For example, my sweetheart was going thru a situation at work that he saw as "no-win". Instead of jumping in to say what I would do in that situation, I asked him questions, and noting from past conversations when this same situation came up how he handled it, tried to guide him to finding his own answer. I am humbled to say that he did and the situation resolved in his favor.

Didn't mean to jump off on a tangent, but truely, what you wrote about your experience - well, we all need to look inward to help fix or guide ourselves to the right path and experiences. For those who will mock and scold, pay them no heed. Keep the faith and stay the course. Tolerance is my biggest hurdle. I'll keep striving for my goal.

Originally posted by 4LPH483T50UP
Dear ATS member -

Thank you for sharing your experience. It is truly humbling and yet comforting to know that someone else has had a similar experience. I thought when I had mine that I was going "off my cracker". But now I know what I personally experienced was real. I have wondered of my past lives and have come to a few revelations myself of what my purpose here this time is and what I still have to accomplish, and they are patience and tolerance.

I also believe that we are all "divine" beings. Even though we all have completely separate lives, families, jobs, feelings, experiences - we ARE all one. My "lessons" are accompanied by feelings and actual deja vu. I have started recording these in diaries. At first, it was unsettling, but now I find comfort. I am able to see how to alter the situation to better help those around me. I can see it in my family too. How the same patterns come around. I don't interfere too much with their decisions but try to lead the conversation so they can perceive the best approach. For example, my sweetheart was going thru a situation at work that he saw as "no-win". Instead of jumping in to say what I would do in that situation, I asked him questions, and noting from past conversations when this same situation came up how he handled it, tried to guide him to finding his own answer. I am humbled to say that he did and the situation resolved in his favor.

Didn't mean to jump off on a tangent, but truely, what you wrote about your experience - well, we all need to look inward to help fix or guide ourselves to the right path and experiences. For those who will mock and scold, pay them no heed. Keep the faith and stay the course. Tolerance is my biggest hurdle. I'll keep striving for my goal.

Another soulsister wonderful. It is hard for me keeping my ego down sometimes and not tell people how to solve things and instead help them to find their own answers. My work is literaraly fixing peoples technical problems and I have become some kind of goto guy for my colleges. It works both ways, some times I don't have any idee and I ask other people. But I have learned to be humble and normaly say I think it's like this but I can be wrong. I have had very many discussion with my parents about what have happened to me so in some way I might be influencing them to think in other patterns. I always tell them to be how they think they should be. We all have a different reality we live in that is unique to us. But I have figured out that you can choose to change that reality and change behaviour and ignore acting on past wrongs (from you or the surroundings), When I had my life changing moment the last thought was All is one. The thought pattern went from the smallest thing in the universe to the biggest I know to the unknow and finally All. We are like cells in a universal body. We are the same thing but unique in our experiance and knowledge. Ignore what I have written if It don't fit with your reality. Namaste.