You are ABSURD!

odd how similar our stories are. i sure am absurd! i never did homework...never paid any attention in class...and still aced every test. everything just came natural to me. everything just kinda makes sense.

drugs and alcohol...i mean...how couldn't i? you're supposed to do drugs to be this crazy so i might as well do them! i was doing drugs when drugs weren't cool. i had to stuff these curses back down!

i wake up earlier on days that i don't work than days that i do! and without an alarm clock. there's just something about being on someone else's time that really rubs me the wrong way. i will work 3 times harder than i have to just to go against the man! i am absurd!

everyone stares at me. perhaps it's because i'm tall, skinny, covered in WEIRD TATTOOS walk faster than most folks run and have a fire in my eye that wreaks of God's fury. and yet...i am full of His love. and kids...i love kids...but i am awkward with them. and they stare at me like i'm the guy they see in their dreams every night and have just seen me for the first time in real life. kinda awkward.

yes we share many character "strengths"

how candid of you! just laying yourself out on the line like that. tisk tisk NAM...you're not supposed to be open and honest and vulnerable with folks...you'll look crazy!

reply to post by ICEKOHLD

Thanks for sharing brother, that was totally authentic and genuine. You too are a good guy with tons to offer.

Interesting what you said about kids looking at you. I have a story about that you might find amuzing.

Because of the weight of the pressures of trying to live an inauthentic life in accordance with expectations I could not and had no intentions of living up to, including my OWN, I once had a "spiritual crackup" or what some people call a nervous breakdown. It lasted only for about three weeks to a month, and then lifted.

During her dying process my mother once told me that she was really proud of me, and that what happened to me a few years prior, was not in her opinion (a trained mental health professional) the result of any sort of mental illness but was instead a legitamet spiritual experience, and she said it helped increase her faith of all things.

Anyway, knowing I'd kind of gone off the deepend so to speak, I voluntarily went to see my family doctor with the aim of being admitted to the hospital, and after a rather strange interview with the doctor, my mother present, an appointment was made with the admitting psychiatrist for the next day. That night I dreamt of the man I was to meet in the mornbing, except he was an african Shaman, and lo and behold when I saw him for the first time the next morning, it was the same guy from my dream (same face), but what was really freaky about the whole experience, is when I was in his waiting room. Sitting across from me was a little kid, a boy, sitting beside his father, and he took one look at me, his eyes widened, and then he whispered to his dad "it's HIM"! (That's when I figured I'd totally lost it!)

Anyway, I made it through all that and I'm still here, good as new.

All these things are like gifts, if we could but have the courage to unwrap them and try to discern what they've been telling us, and what they mean and ask of us. It's very valuable, the self examined life - Socrates was right.

Whenever I connect to forums, it is as if my mental processing powere is expanded, the internet is telepathic, im telling you!

In terms of the effect of my actions, they are purely for my own entertainment, to prevent the boredom from seeping in, to prevent the "real world" from taking grip of my last threads of hope...

Sad, yes it is.

However, I still have not "fallen" and that is all that counts - if you know what I mean by that, then it will start to make sense as to why we are called "survivors".

Most children "fall" in thier early teens and start to "target" the children whom have not fallen. It is often called "resignation" - where you "give up" and fall into the material world.

I think I've managed to pointpoint the source of our absurdity (insanity) and that we are zeroing in now on "the narrow gate that leads to life"!

Distinguishing "IT"

reply to post by NewAgeMan


This thread is absurd. I hope the OP wrote it about himself because he'd be quite a dick to write this about someone else.

reply to post by noshepard


It was about me, while trying to be helpful to others if possible.. nothing more.

They say that when you commisserate with your neighbor as he's kind hearted he will thank you, and when he's hard hearted he will scorn you.

Oh and did I mention that I've got the don't care.

reply to post by NewAgeMan


That's cool. I was just saying, if you outted somebody else for all of this personal stuff in a public space, that'd be a pretty dick move. This all seems like very intimate and private information about a human being. And I don't think that is "commiserating". It's more like one person putting up all of this private information about another person in public without that second person's consent or even knowledge of it. That's not quite commiserating with your neighbor....is it?

When I commiserate with my neighbor, it's a two way exchange, we usually talk about dogs, music and video games as I can hear him blasting music and playing video games throughout the day.It's a two way exchange. I don't go down to the local convenient store and post up fliars about how the guy gets drunk and screams racial slurs into the night air,(don't worry this is just an example, he doesn't) for the whole neighborhood to see. That's not commiserating, and for me to gut this dude of his private affairs and put it up in a public space....would be a pretty dick move.

That's all I was saying (when i thought you wrote it about someone else) but hey since you wrote it about yourself, bravo! good job! It takes balls to put yourself out there so exposed and open.

reply to post by noshepard


It wasn't THAT open, and I wasn't airing any dirty laundry.

Anyway, thanks for your contribution.

Soon I will give a progress report on how things are starting to change for me, now that I've ackowledge and am coming to grips with my own absurdity.

It's quite incredible what can happen, and I wish and hope the same kind of stuff for others.

So much possibility... it's breathtaking!

reply to post by noshepard


And as I think I've mentioned in this thread we can only ever be responsible for our own "side of the street", getting that cleaned up and cleared away, and then everything changes, both for ourselves and inspirationally, for others, both friend and foe alike provided we have the courage to be the "yeast in the dough" which begins with a facepalm type "DOH!" (said like Homer Simpson).

What is life? What does it mean? Who am I? WHAT am I?

What is everybody doing?

What do they really want?

So what's to complain about.

It's absurd to begine with, so why add insult to injury, it's bad enough as it is! Can't get any worse either, so what are we to DO?

Maybe there's nothing at ALL that we MUST do, so right there in the space of nothing, what is it REALLY that motivates us?

What drives us insane?

It's you, and me. We did it, to ourselves.


We were absurd!


Best Regards,


NAM

reply to post by NewAgeMan


Have you ever read about Albert Camus' philosophy of Absurdism? If you haven't, you should.

en.wikipedia.org...