January, 2009.

I want to tell you about something that happened to me in January of 2009. I still don't really understand it and I don't necessarily feel that I must have an explanation. I haven't been an ATS member for very long but I've been quite pleased by the intellect and quality of discussion I've come across in odd places on the forum and I'm interested to see what kind of a response I might get. Some of you are so knowledgeable.
This is the part where I cringe a little because, for most people, this next bit is where my credibility goes out the window. If I was sitting where you are, this is probably when I'd be clicking the 'back' button. Before this happened to me, I was spiritual person. It's who I am. But, before this happened to me, if you had started talking to me about angels, I may have smiled and nodded in the right places but, inside, I would have been rolling my eyes and I'd be excusing myself from the conversation first chance I got. I want you to know that it isn't easy posting this for that reason.
Late on a Monday night/Tuesday morning, I shut off the light and lay down to sleep. My head barely touched the pillow and - BANG! Transported. I was there so fast, it almost knocked the breath out of me. Like whiplash.
I was somewhere red.
Something vast was holding me in an embrace. That something was an angel made of the brightest, most powerful white I have ever seen or felt. It was holding me to itself and, at the same time, working on me... Fixing me. I'm not sure how.
Imagine a child's rudimentary drawing. A wing made of feathers, a man-face, somehow lionish at the same time. And, like the portions of a stained glass window, each portion (feather, eye, curl of hair) had a thick, black outline.
Nothing about it was sexual but, while I was there, in it, it was gratifying in an acutely sexual way. I felt I couldn't speak yet I heard myself saying, "Thank you so much for coming to see me, again". I also recall seeing a pile of something that seemed to be feces. (I was going to leave that part out but...I haven't.)
And as suddenly as I had found myself there, I came back. I recall opening my eyes in the dark and then closing them again to go to sleep.
The scary part, for me, is what happened later. For the next two weeks or so, all I wanted to do was sit and recall what happened that night. Over and over again. But, whenever I thought about it, I would go to pieces. Overcome by weeping. Not just tears - I mean literally sobbing like a baby. Unable, at times, to even stand up under it. Then I would get this expanding feeling in my stomach. The best way I can describe it is like a rising joy that would expand too fast for me to handle. In my head I'd be thinking, "How can a person have room inside for so much joy? It'll drive me insane!" As weeks passed, it began to subside but I was too scared to tell anyone about it for months afterward because a) I didn't want anyone to see me weeping that way and b) I was worried someone would try and have me committed.
Like I said earlier, I still might not believe a story like this if I read one so, if you don't either, I get that. "Just a vivid dream" is what many of you will probably conclude and I get that, too - although I don't agree.

Thanks for sharing. I've read a lot of experiences on here, many of them are purely for seeking attention, but there will always be a proportion that have something much deeper to them unexplainable by even modern science and psychology. I hope that many on here will give you the benefit of the doubt as I am.

*Firstly, what do you hope to achieve by posting your experience here?

*What do you feel this experience means to you?

*Do you feel like it's a sign of things to come for yourself? For the world as we know it? Or something entirely different altogether?

reply to post by sqlqueery


*What do you hope to achieve by posting your experience here?
Of course I wonder if anyone has experienced anything similar or has heard tell of anything similar but, more than that, I'd really like to read any knowledgeable discussion of "angels" or spiritual experiences of this kind. I'm not personally bent on attempting to prove the existence of such things right here in this thread.

*What do you feel this experience means to you?
It had a profound effect on me. I'd go as far as saying it changed my life in that, before it happened, the concept of an angel was merely something from a fairytale or tripe from some appalling romantic comedy. My outlook now includes the possibility of much more. Other than that, I haven't known quite what to make of it, although I would say it is a thing relating to me, individually, as opposed to "the-world-as-we-know-it"
I have mentioned it to the odd person, here and there. Probably the most interesting response I have had to date was a long conversation about the tree of life.
I'm still learning. I'd like to learn more.

If you have a chance, take a look at a reply I posted on a thread not too long ago (I'm a fairly new member too). It's to do with similar subject matter:
www.abovetopsecret.com...

I smile to myself when I see others smugly refer to the bible and other religious texts as fairy tales as if they have all of the answers themselves. While I can accept the possibility that some of the events documented could have been exaggerated, any historian or archaeologist will tell you that the people and places were very real which is what separates these supposed fairy-tales from the likes of Cinderella.

The other big argument is that texts from Abrahamic faiths have been watered down over time, and have lost their original meaning, which is something I used to have trouble with myself. But the fact that access to many of the original Hebrew and Greek texts is available for direct translation into modern English somewhat 'waters-down' that argument.

The next question you have to ask yourself is, are the accounts that seem to defy all known logic and reason the result of hallucinations? If what you say you've experienced was real, I'm sure you can probably answer that one for yourself. It's one of those things that is really for each individual to gauge. I can understand why people would refute any suggestion of supernatural intervention, each to their own. But personally, even though I don't have any supernatural experiences to show for myself, I've heard them told by other honest people who I have never been given any reason to doubt. Maybe that's what faith is?