The Lonely And The Forgotten

Originally posted by Qi Maker
it's as though the act of others showing care or kindness towards me translates in my mind, as me burdening them.
i hold everyone in my meditation, all the souls, and project healing and solidarity out to the entire spectrum, and I am especially compelled to focus in on and lift up the burdens of those who are hurt and lost, disillusioned or isolated.

so I maintain a boundary of detachment in relationships that could otherwise be more passionate, seemingly to compensate for karmic gaps, amorphous gray clouds of energy radiating from those who are suffering or ignored or marginalized: I feel I should significantly limit my interpersonal ecstasies and indulgences in romance so that I may direct more uplifting energy to these "lonely and forgotten"...they must travel with me to everlasting ecstasy, nirvana, because we are the same body.

and so often I end up "lonely and forgotten" half-intentionally, although my light and character is difficult to forget and often leaves large impressions. I can't help but keep up a certain degree of separation, atleast I intend too, because I'm well aware of the transience of indulgences and the deception of desires. As an example, in the case of a romance, I will remain detached out of unconditional love; I don't want the other person to become reliant on my love and passion alone, I don't want them to view me as their special someone, because I want for them a release from all suffering. I want them to be solid and resilient in their own mind when I leave, but retain our mutual love energy in their hearts.

This detachment often comes off as cold to a person who doesn't see the manifold reality, who is unaware of the whole source. It is a recurring syndrome I must wrestle with privately, as I understand it is not for me to make them see, but only to the guide them in the direction of, through acts.

...the life of an empath can be surprisingly distant.

Dude... You had me from the first word to the last. I may have to print it out and frame it, as you nailed me; and as life goes on and events unfold, I'm afraid it may have been a mistake, I wish I knew.

Regardless...

Unbelievably well put!

reply to post by Ralphy


Its important to note, I have been there and I would still be there if I did not break finally and crack open lol, but I would never have discovered the light at the end of the tunnel, thank god, thank god that has come to an end, just know there is allways hope, you just have to believe in yourself, I know it sounds corney but you have to beleive in your power if anyone is to go through this dense place with understanding, you have to reach a point where your like finally realising, ok, and learn to control your emotions, and open your heart, you will learn to overcome anything. When your find your light, it will soar out from you. Suddenly you will know. Then you will learn to follow it, and your awareness will expand as you follow it more and more, its like a game chasing your true passion and your true self will emerge. You learn to follow what you want, like say more love in your life, you focus on that and it will come, what you focus on will come to you, what your intent is to mark it, if you combine the intent with the focus and you have full will to do anything you wish and for your dreams to come true. Lessons from the soul are very hard, you can't skip steps and just 'become' its a process and its different for everyone. It doesn't make anyone less. Your in a hard one, but its just the beginning of your awareness expanding I promise you that. Soon you may feel a void. Go within this void, descover all your true inner dark secrets, they will intergrate with you and fall away, you will do as you wish with them, you will be in control of your power, the dark secrets in your mind are holding onto your power. Be not affriad, and face with courage, the challenges. Embrace them with high valor. Stand up to them after you are ready and have finished greiving the old you, the new you will emerge ever the more beautiful, ever more aware. And you will see the challenges for what they are, games for your learning, its time to understand what we are learning instead of not moving at all. As the urge becomes stronger, more will start to evolve to the same point, and we will all reach the same conclusions. All is One.

I am quite self-entertaining, but I must admit I do miss the friendships I once had long ago. Over the years my friends all died, a fate we all face but sadly so many face it at such young age. I am now older than the ages of those friends who were older than me who passed away. It makes me wonder at times if perhaps I was the dreamer of the dream and they were only the dream, maybe I will dream them back but it never happens. I do miss them.

I find that I gauge others based on those previous friendships. If someone reminds me of one or the other I tend to gravitate toward them. It doesn't mean they become my next friend, it is mostly a passing thing but a reminder of what once was. I do miss that!

I sometimes miss my family as well but I have always been pushed away by them and not ever fully accepted throughout my life. I am now wise enough to stay away from them as I seem to have always caused them such pain. I wonder if their pain subsided when I no longer was around? They certainly made me feel that I was the cause of all of their pain so it would be fair to say they must be in utter bliss now that so many years have passed without a word. I do not even think my family thinks about me at all as the last time I had visited my parent's home, a house filled with family pictures, there were no pictures of me at all. Even the group photos done in a studio have my four siblings together but I am not in any of them. I asked, and was told the same thing they always say, that I am not that kind of person and that I do not like family gatherings and such. It is nice of them to decide for me what I like and don't like, I told them they should have asked anyways but they chuckle it away that I would say no. I would have taken the time to be there but that never seemed to sink in with them whenever I said it. Sad really, life is coming to a close and they have missed out on so much in my life, and I to theirs.

I spend every day all day alone. I mostly walk through the day and I water trees and intermingle with Nature in the best way I can considering my environment is a desert. I do have a partner but he is not around until late in the day and then he locks himself away for the reminder of the night unless dinner is served, then it is back to his space of privacy. Evenings and weekends I always know where he is, sitting in front of his computer forcing the world around him to go away. I don't mind, after 24 years I respect that he likes his privacy and his life without so much interaction, physical or emotional. He knows where I am.

I like being alone but I do not mind being around others, it is just that they feel that I do not want them around if that makes any sense. It doesn't make sense to me, why would they think these things and yet I am comforted by myself so I pass it off and wonder about the years before when I was surrounded by so many friends.

I believe my isolation is for a reason. I believe that my time away from the human world is for my own safety. This will all change soon as I can feel it all around me; one day soon all people will embrace those who are nearest them and they will open their hearts to every stranger; as strange as this sounds, this is how I see it.

In the meantime I will just chatter away online and feel like I am talking to someone!

everybody is alone in there own mind

reply to post by Ralphy


Your sincerity and caring nature is a breath of fresh air on this board. Thank you.

I have to say though, just because someone is alone that doesn't necessarily mean they're lonely. Conversely, a social butterfly may very well be the loneliest person you will meet. On the inside.

Some people like isolation. They like the solitary life. It gives them a peace and security somehow that being around people all the time can't. These are people who are on the outside looking in so to speak. They work, they contribute to society, then they go home. They don't get involved in all the other things they see everyone else getting involved in. Maybe they they think it's petty. Or confusing. Or too complicated.

Whatever the reason for their state of being is, these people, by and large, are pretty wise. They watch and they listen. Any wise man will tell you that is the best way you can learn. Don't feel sorry for the loners. 9 times out of 10 you'll find that they wouldn't have it any other way. They're smart, at peace, and are not a part of any crowd mentality. The first 2 attributes, in my opinion, are a direct result of the 3rd.


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Originally posted by Ralphy

This is mostly for those who believe that everything happens for a reason but all are welcome to contribute. I have been thinking of those who feel like they have been forgotten by the world and feel agony of extreme loneliness. Why are some people in this situation? For what reason does someone have to been alone for long periods of time? One could say to learn a lesson but some people die lonely thus not learning anything, at least before they die. Also it seems that some people who get so lonely, they shy away from making relationships in anyway whether it be an acquittance, friend, etc. It makes me feel for these people when I stop and think about how people who cry themselves to sleep because they feel no one cares about them.

Is there hope for the broken and lonely out there? What do you think?

My thoughts:

The universe runs a certain way. All things happen due to cause/effect, for example. Or that all systems exhibit entropy.

When you behave in a manner that is in line with the desires of the universe (God, for some people) life becomes easy and you find your own level of success. When you swim against the current, life becomes hard and you end up unhappy and miserable.

Of course, there are always bumps on any road. You will experience misery and grief no matter what. But it can be greatly reduced by following that inner voice.

Originally posted by Taupin Desciple
reply to post by Ralphy

 

Your sincerity and caring nature is a breath of fresh air on this board. Thank you.

I have to say though, just because someone is alone that doesn't necessarily mean they're lonely. Conversely, a social butterfly may very well be the loneliest person you will meet. On the inside.

Some people like isolation. They like the solitary life. It gives them a peace and security somehow that being around people all the time can't. These are people who are on the outside looking in so to speak. They work, they contribute to society, then they go home. They don't get involved in all the other things they see everyone else getting involved in. Maybe they they think it's petty. Or confusing. Or too complicated.

Whatever the reason for their state of being is, these people, by and large, are pretty wise. They watch and they listen. Any wise man will tell you that is the best way you can learn. Don't feel sorry for the loners. 9 times out of 10 you'll find that they wouldn't have it any other way. They're smart, at peace, and are not a part of any crowd mentality. The first 2 attributes, in my opinion, are a direct result of the 3rd.


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edit on 28-9-2011 by Taupin Desciple because: Clarity

Goodness, this is pure wisdom - and great understanding. You really do know how to clarify things so well.

reply to post by ELEVATOR7


Thank You.

reply to post by Ralphy


Oh bro i am always alone even when in a crowded room or surrounded by family. Technically I have nothing to complain about, but in reality I am never fully ever there either nor do I think I can fully ever be there.

Even this Christmas as I am writing this though it was cool and all, I don't really know what to say...And so I don't. But I have spent all holidays and every day of my life alone in my head.

If I stand real still I can make people forget I am even there.

Like a ghost, I can fade out of there reality.

You get used to it, eventually.

But not really.

But really.

Not.


I would say I have nothing to complain about. But I think I will complain about something anyways, you know just to keep myself occupied, least I forget I exist I cant figure out if I am the strange one, or if I am the normal one, and everybody else is just freaking strange.

Hopefully the new year will bring something new and better, because all the years so far have been all to similar. Like a movie playing in my head that I have seen a thousand times.

Is there hope for the broken and lonely out there? What do you think?

Definitely yes. But it ain't easy, its a lot of things...But never easy...Keep on trucking Ralphy.

reply to post by galadofwarthethird


Ditto, I'm the stealth master. I really take no pleasure in being around many people at once (as in parties, mobs, malls, etc) but don't mind listening to their woes if they've got noone to talk to.

If anyone needs a boost, post on the Positivity Thread for Sad & Lonely Souls . I refer to it whenever I am feeling a bit off.

reply to post by Shawny2222

I've been trying to figure it out too since I seem to be easily forgotten by friends and family. Makes me wonder if I were to die right now, how long it would take before someone started to suspect something is wrong.

This time of year gets a lot of people down. I don't know enough about you to trot out the old BS that 'things will get better.' If your folks seem to be forgetting about you, why not give them a call instead? They might not have a clue how you feel because a lot of people are great at hiding their thoughts - you might be one of them without realising.

A cry for help on a forum is liable to go ignored and make you feel worse. I think it's better to reach out and connect with someone you know - human contact. Good luck and I hope you feel better.

If you believe in the hive mind, then there are the lonely and isolated, whom are not "connected" to it - it is not that others do not "care", it is simply that thier attention is drawn away from any "outliers" in the system unless something obvious presents itself that leads the general populace to question the nature of thier own soceity, and whether or not they are in control, or whether someone or something else is in control of them.

To the general population, the answer is that lonliness is simply a result of shyness, introverted characteristics, problems during childhood and "chemical imbalances" - however, as opposed to being symptoms of a disease, they are in fact the effects that the soceity has had upon the individual, that affects certain people, who turn inward instead of outwards, whom fall through the cracks instead of forming into the moulds.

reply to post by applebaum

Sadly, I understand this and wish for the same thing. Everything feels meaningless. I have tried my hardest but still don't get the purpose of this life. I am flawed. Apparently, I lack what it takes to make this life work for me. Goodness knows I have tried. I consistently fail. I just don't get it.

No, No, NO you are absolutely NOT flawed. Failing in this circumstance, not created by us, but contrived and manipulated, to force us to live in, certainly does not mean you are a failure. Sometimes there is much success in failure, for the world we live in is antithetical, in and of itself, to succeeding and at the same time, establishing meaning. The very fact that you are concerned with meaning and searching for it, is an ultimate success, because, for one, it is disregarding the messages you are surrounded with that represent cultural and social success and acceptance, and looking for something deeper, which is why you both fail, and feel alone and lonely.
I hope this will give you some comfort.....There is a mark of true success in an authentic, honest person with integrity in today's world to be a "failure," ( at least i think so) for to be successful in what we see today in our culture is to sacrifice our integrity. Just my opinion. But, yes, it is a lonely road.

reply to post by Dogdish


I don't want to be mean, but this strikes me as an excuse for detachment and "commitment phobia."
Sorry, that's just what occurs to me as I read your descriptions of your relationships, and connecting or not with others.

We either "click" or we don't, is what I think. If we hold ourselves somewhat aloof from everyone, it says more about us, than it does all those others we come into contact with. Having said that, I believe in reincarnation, and that we exist in a "closed" system, with a limited number of souls, that continually relive their experiences, trying to solve conflicts which reflect the soul, or inner you, in how you respond to the exterior and environment, and other life forms, be they people you are relating with, or how you treat dogs, flowers, horses, gardens, etc......until finally we have earned another place, so to speak.

Everyone I "teach" my experience, has something to "teach" me, too. It is why we are here, together, encountering, responding to one another. Thats my experience.
Someone may seem further down on the ladder of this gradual rising, but, in fact, I have encountered them for a reason, to enrich and teach me something. And conversely, for them, as well.


As to loneliness and aloneness.......I am lonely and alone all the time. perpetually. Living hurts. Whether I trust or not, whatever I do, good, bad or indifferent. Being a friend is having a friend. But this is a world in which you may never encounter that, except in your solitarinerss.......in other words, you may never, ever encounter anyone else whom you can trust that will treat you as you would treat them and wish to be treated, as a life with value.
You can live your life with that golden rule, and still not ever encounter that coming back at you. Many say that you will get what you give, but it is not so, I think, just as life is not fair, whatever our definition of karma is, we really do not get, neccessarily, what we supposedly deserve.

Perhaps the lesson is living is understanding and suffering through that, and still remaining, with integrity, a being who values all other life, despite the loneliness, aloneness, unfairness, pain. lack of tolerance and acceptance and recognition of our worth, no matter our good acts or the honesty and integrity we try to live by..... we maintain who are are and our value of ourselves and all other life, no matter what we are confronted with. At least. this is what I hold onto.

And yes, I feel lonely and alone, every single moment of just about every day.