Trauma, The Mind And Self Programing, Stuck In “The Daydream”

I’m a new member here and something that has a real interest to me is the human mind. So I wanted to start a new topic on the issues the title mentions, im sorry for the long post but I feel I do need to include all of this below,

I suffered a very traumatic experience when I was a child, after the incident it took a further 21 years to realise this had an impact on me at all, I can now finally accept what has happened and was real and that it really has greatly effected me in every way, not overlooking I am still dealing with other areas to this day.
I have not seen a lot of accounts of real people, there feelings in regards to the aftermath ( not what took place ) of accepting and dealing or dealt with trauma they have undergone and the huge step they have taken in dealing with it.

BUT, there are a lot of people who may not understand, especially people who have not encountered such trauma. In my experience of dealing with what happened, I have found something that is to me quite worrying, people who show the same effects and symptoms of trauma, I would call this through, self programing. Certain people I have encountered in life have been conditioning themselves to the same thought pattern as myself, I’m talking about what I can only describe as “The Daydream”, the “harmless” place your mind wanders to from time to time.
So give a quick understanding (and I mean quick as I could right 1000 pages on what has happened and the 21 years of the incidents effects and feelings on me)

I feel like at the moment of what happened to me I underwent a change, unable to deal with what happened on the inside, it became my outside, myself, became on the inside, or to the average person, how u feel when you’ve just spent 5 min in a daydream, that “oh sorry I zoned out, but I was still listening I know what you said”.
This unfortunately became the norm, and I didn’t even know, it’s difficult to look back and see most of your life on autopilot, aware enough you can function perfectly, but feeling loss of time, and your subconscious making the decisions, your body doing the motions of things you have previously been taught, it is quite difficult to explain , someone should be able to be in a quiet room for more than 1 second, and not immediately disappear into a daydream or another example is driving your car and realise your at your destination and you drove 10 miles on “autopilot”.

Now what im seeing as the more I deal with my issues, is the same issues in other people ( by no means everyone, just certain people I have encountered through my life )who have not undergone trauma, having the same things happen through self programing, so I will give an example;

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Jane Doe is focused, smart, fun and friendly, never really taken an interest in tv, but a new tv show captures her attention and she becomes hooked, now while around friends, jane likes to talk about this new tv show she has became “hooked” on, when not around friends she is thinking about whats going to happen next week, spending more and more time thinking about it.

As the years go on, more and more TV shows capture her attention, she thinks about them, news, internet and music too, Jane now spends a lot of time “day dreaming” thinking about all these things that keep her interest, more and more she finds a lot of things boring, rather than dealing with something then and there, without stress, she likes to really “think and process”. Things like work are very boring and it easy to just daydream through the day, but still able to do what she should be, but unaware she is actually in auto pilot most of her time now.

A once neat tidy Jane, now clumsy, bumping into things, easily bored cause she always “daydreaming”, because she spends to much time on autopilot, her subconscious is in theory taking over the role as her conscious mind, and really, doing what she has programed it how to be while she is away, unaware, friends and family say Jane has changed, no longer appreciating little things and emotions that should be dealt with inside like anger, frustration, worries are all displayed and interacted with on the outside and you have someone who is depressed and just not really sure why they feel the way they do.
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As I said, this will not apply to all people, but this is what I see, things keeping the brain soo busy in a long term can have the same effects as trauma, two separate incidents have two people both being able to carry out day to day duties, but just daydreaming the day away, the perfect zombie nation.

I would certainly like to hear your thoughts, especially anyone who has actually suffered trauma and been able to comprehend it and deal / dealing with it, or if u feel you might be slipping into the daydream mentioned above.
If you feel u want to discuss anything further, or would like to know more about my situation to help your own, please don’t hesitate to ask.

What you describe sounds a lot like something called "depersonalization/derealization disorder". depersonalization disorder
derealization

I have it myself, and I just realized it a few months ago, but I've had it for the past 5 years, and never knew it was a brain disorder. I hope that helps. Let me know if that is what you are describing.
If this is what you have, the best advice i can give to you is not to feed the negativity in your mind. You can have this voice in your head that just constantly gives you nothing but negative comments, and you have to ignore that. Use your conscious mind and stay positive.
I also read that in order to get rid of the day dreaminess, you have to process all of your emotions and trauma. I dont know what your experience was like, but you obviously aren't over it, and i know it's hard, but you have to confront whoever/whatever is causing you this stress. Just talking to someone about it helps a lot. You just need to get it off your chest

reply to post by bulletproof_monk


Well i know im far from having dealt with my issues, but i believe in order to deal with them, accepting and working on them is the way to go.

After reading the depersonalization link, all i can say is thank you for pointing me towards that, it hits the nail on the head, i dont get quite all the symptoms, but do get them in my own way so to speak which you can probably understand,

from the article, it quotes something i find very interesting www.minddisorders.com...

patients with depersonalization disorder appear to have abnormal functioning of the sensory cortex. The sensory cortex is the part of the brain that governs the senses of sight, hearing, and perceptions of the location of one's body in space.


I have always thought that my brain does seem to work differently, I do appear to hear and see things in a different way than lots of people, but i like to think some of it as a gift, other parts im not too overly pleased with.

I experienced trauma as a child and have depersonalization and dissociate also. I'm diagnosed dissociative identity disorder. I definitely see everyday people "programming themselves" in a sense, and it's disturbing how many distractions we're constantly bombarded with on a daily basis. Everything from the internet, tv, and smart phones. TV is the worst imo.