check this out...let me know what u think

hey i just wanted to get some opinions of a few songs my band put together. let me know if you like it, hate it, change it, or even what to do with it. any thing is cool with me
oh and the music was recorded with a compression mic in a room in the basement.

our back ground is

joey plays guitar loves van halen any thing hair metal

ron plays drums loves rush, megadeth. he is legally blind its getting worse day by day.

and me, i play bass and am a nut about sevendust tool and so on. i play a 6 string bass

now to the meat of this post

Nice start,but you need to expand on it. It lacks character.

Playing the same phrase over and over is monotonous. Try developing some alternate phrases to incorporate into the piece. What you have might be good for the refrain, but work on developing something just a bit different for the body. Not too much different, just a bit.

Like I said... good start. It's a seed that needs to grow.

i was thinking the same thing it is kinda repetitive, but keep in mind there is no singer singing to it yet

Right, but the singer generally follows the melody. I still think you need something to distinguish the main body from the refrain.