Milk and Toilet Paper

Day One

Me:
"Next time you go out can you get a litre of milk?
Oh ... and you had better get some more toilet paper too"

Mr X
"I am not going out today"

Me
sigh..."so... your not going out at all today to get your lunch?"

Mr X
"No"

Me:
"Ok, could you ask the others on site if they are going to the shop to buy their lunch today?"

Mr X
"Sure"

Ten minutes later....

Mr Y
"Mr X said you wanted to speak to me?"

Me:
"No, I did not ask Mr X to send you up here because I wanted to speak with you. I asked him to ask anyone on site if they were going out to the shop today to buy their lunch?"

Mr Y
"Oh... I am not going out for lunch today"

Me:
"Ok... don't worry about it..."

Mr Y
"Why do you want to know if I am going out for lunch today?"

Me:
"If you were going out to the shop, then you could get some things for me?

Mr Y
"For you? Do your own shopping "

Me:
"No...not my shopping. We need milk and toilet paper"

Mr Y
"If I end up going out, I will get some...but I don't intend to go out at all today"

Me
"Ok, thanks"

30 minutes later
Mr Z
"I went out and got some earplugs, here is the receipt"

Me
"Why did you buy earplugs? There is a box of 200 in the cupboard."

Mr Z
"Mr X said you said we needed earplugs"

Me
"No, I didn't say we needed earplugs, I said we needed milk and toilet paper."

Mr Z
"Oh..well what should I do with the earplugs?"

Me (biting my tongue)
"Just leave them on the desk...tell the others not to worry about it. I will get the milk and toilet paper."

Day Two

Mr X
"Goodmorning...I bought a 2 litre milk and 4 pack of toilet paper on my way into work this morning..."

Mr Y
"Goodmorning...I got 3 litres of milk and a 24 pack of toilet paper"

Mr Z
"Hi...I got the Mrs to go out and get the milk and toilet paper after work. She got two boxes of toilet paper...thats 96 rolls of toilet paper!

Me
"Thanks "

later that day...

Contractor
"Wow... Thats a lot of bog roll you got there! I heard there were a lot of assholes working here! "

thx for the person who flagged it...but I am no good at writing speech...so will have to practice.

years back they had a writing contest involving speech and I didn't even bother cos I was like.. mwah too hard...

must practice it though!

oh anyone want a litre of milk or a roll of toilet paper?

oh dear.... the toilet paper cycle continues.

WE ran out today and I am not sure if I should 'ask' the others to get some or get it myself.

What a dilema!