C.I.A. is hiring for field operatives. Sign up now!!

Well thank you for the stars snowen and I understand how you could despise my comments, I can be a bit abrasive at times but it's never done to intentionally offend people.

I actually plan to go into analysis as i'm probably too old to be James Bond. I figure what better way to prepare for a SHTF scenario than to have access to the information first hand

Hope your application includes

Ivy or close to it college education
4.0 GPA
Multilingual
perfect criminal records
Letters of recommendation from teachers, employers, community leaders, politicians
Multiple degrees
etc.

I knew a girl who interned at the CIA while in college 10-12 years ago. This girl was so squeaky clean it was creepy. She had also set the goal of getting in the CIA when she was in grammar school...

I actually worked for the CIA several years ago, it's pretty crazy.

When we hire new guys we put them through an initiation. We have them drop their pants, stand up on the ledge of a two story building. Then we take a string, tie one end around their jimmys and the other end to a cinder block that the new guys hold. We then tell them to drop the cinder block over the edge of the building. They think it's going to pull their willy off, but oh no, joke's on them. We measure the string so it's long enough for the cinder block to hit the ground without pulling their willy off.

One time though, we screwed up and this portly black fellow got pulled of the edge of the building. Didn't loose his jimmy though.

The CIA director, at that time, was a silly old guy. He always wanted to go streaking, and actually did a few times, Nobody ever went with him though. One time he was streaking and his wife happened to be driving down that road while she was out with some of her girlfriends. She saw her husband naked, drunk, running down the street. She picked him up, it was quite the uncomfortable situation I would imagine.

We also drove around in a souped up van and did fake kidnappings on the new guys. Scared a few people, but it was fun.

reply to post by James1982



By any chance did you serve with a old guy code named blue he was KIA.

Originally posted by OtherSideOfTheCoin
reply to post by James1982

 

By any chance did you serve with a old guy code named blue he was KIA.

Code name "Blue" WAS MY BOY

Did you attend the service? It was quite beautiful. There was an excellent rendition (ooh double meaning) of Dust In The Wind. Brought a tear to my eye.

federal employees cant us ATS right ahah
in plus their intelligence they need mindless people that will follow anything..

Jesus Christ!

After waking up this morning and re reading my first post I am astonished!

The end reads like was having some kind of neurological breakdown or a stroke or something.
It even almost makes me sound like"I like the CIA", this is of course UTTER AND COMPLETE BS!!!

Let me now rephrase what I was unable to say correctly last night...Are you ready? Here we go:

I think working for the CIA is LIKE working directly under or for Satan himself.........

There I did it, unless I'm being brainwashed by the CIA to make me think I did the right thing.
Anyway it's mistakes like these, why I would never have been hired for the CIA.

reply to post by crimvelvet


What did you get back?

I can't imagine that they'd want anyone that would apply right now.
I mean, say you are squeaky clean and smart and yadda yadda- btw ever wonder why intelligence is so bad if they keep hiring such cookie cutter people over and over again?- anyway- say you are good physical shape, smart, educated, blah- so you apply.

Well, sorry to say it but the schools that judge people smart and capable and confident just might be wrong, Ivy league or not- because things are CONFUSED right now.

Personally I'm not all that smart but I can't figure out who the CIA really is anymore. They've abused secrecy so much I think they've tied themselves in knots with it- along with everyone else.

In fact, I suspect they are at war amongst themselves. What smart person would want to walk into THAT?

well thank you for the job post but it counts me out for this reason from the op's link

is for applicants who have a minimum of a bachelor's degree but may often lack substantive work experience, and are generally in the 21-25 year age range

i am 46 with a GED, so still in the unemployment line and yes i would not be good for them for i too believe in the Constitution of the United States.

reply to post by kro32

My understanding is that the CIA has been more or less continuously hiring since its inception. But its higher public profile is interesting.

I guess this means they haven't been too adversely affected by the budget cuts!

The thing is this: Thousands of young people go through our university systems every year. These systems are to a certain extent self-selecting. That is, if you aren't already in "the system" or willing to join it, then chances are you aren't going to any of the major universities. And if you are going to one of the major universities, chances are you have enough of a head start on the average Joe due to your family background that you will be a fairly high-quality survivable asset where ever you end up working. In other words - everybody wants these kids.

All the government agencies want these kids. All the military research and intelligence groups want these kids. Corporate America wants these kids. The Illuminati wants these kids. Even my church wants these kids! They are our most survivable assets - the most likely to remain employed and to "do well." A lot of them are also real idealists. They know we need a change and they know they are being depended on to help make it happen. The really clean and intelligent ones are the top prizes; and they aren't easy to catch because they tend to enjoy their independence.

From my point of view, it's like sharks in a feeding frenzy.

I am very biased in this feeding frenzy because I am rooting for my church. I think all the other "sharks" are working for groups that are wasting great talent right and left by forcing their people to sit on information that should be public knowledge or using the fact of their employment to threaten them against taking independent positions that might be better for humanity in the long run. I have a nephew at MIT right now and I fear for him. You just have to hope that a certain percentage of these young people will retain their principles even in the face of pressure to abandon them.

reply to post by kro32


If you are caught lying on your application, you are automatically given a 1st interview.

If you aren't caught lying, we assume you must be good at covering them up, and you get to skip the 1st and advance directly to the 2nd.

If your last name ends in -ski or -sky, your application will be given priority status and once approved (a formality), you will also be allowed to work out of an office with a view.

If it can be shown that your family has made sizable donations to the support of our friendly organization, you will be guaranteed a window seat on all flights for formal or informal business, including golf trips, visits to TX ranches, and scuba adventures in the Cayman Islands.

reply to post by snowen20


It's not the same, Satan doesn't have to wake up a judge to get a wire-tap for a phone booth in Tehran!