Battle of the sexes - Round One.

I thought it would be interesting for ATSers to have a place to vent their frustrations about the opposite sex.

If I live to be a thousand years old I think I will never understand women.
One thing I have noticed is a general difference between how men and women deal with anger:
MEN: physical violence.
WOMEN: psychological violence.

I have also noticed a difference in the legal options available for each response.

What are your thoughts?
please keep this civil - no ones gonna 'win' after all

I think you are off on the physical violence. It has been stated and actually studied many times that women slap or hit their husbands or boyfriends more than is reported because men don't want to be seen as weak by reporting it.

There is also the rule that most men are raised with: "Don't hit women". But in the movies and throughout society, a slap by a women is often deemed justified and even chuckled about.

If a woman slaps her man, it goes unreported for the most part and even if seen in the street by witnesses, most people will chuckle or turn their head and move on with "He probably cheated on her" or "He probably called her a name".

But have a man slap a woman in the street with the same force and he might be tackled or at the very least confronted by others around them. And the police will often be called.

Men do more damage because of their strength but women strike out more.

But in the end, assault is assault.

Well, well, where do I began? Being the only son with three sisters and one is my twin. There is a lot I can rant about. One is why do women seem to be easily upset about various issues? All my sisters and my niece seem to easily get upset easily over the smallest things. I always had the job of being counselor because they needed someone to talk to. Doesn't matter talking to them but I always wondered why they see me as someone to come to for all their problems.

reply to post by Raivan31


Quite honestly I think no one should be using physical violence exempt of self defense. It solves nothing and only perpetuates the emotions that caused the event in the first place. Its one thing to punch a woman in the face as a male, and its completely another if she cheats, withholds sex, calls you stupid like your father, ect. It just came out that one of my friends beats his daughters mother. Needless to say I dont associate with known cowards, cause thats all he is to me now.

reply to post by jude11


hi jude11
i agree
ive been on the recieving end of many slaps punches and kicks from my ex

reply to post by jude11


I agree but note I did say 'general' and I also needed a starting point (lol)

reply to post by Raivan31


I am continually frustrated by the differences in the way men and women "Talk". I don't mean discussing feelings, that's a whole different issue, but just talking about daily things or life experiences. It amazes me what men might not say, thinking it isn't important, but it may actually be very important, to a woman.

Originally posted by derst1988
reply to post by Raivan31

 

Quite honestly I think no one should be using physical violence exempt of self defense. It solves nothing and only perpetuates the emotions that caused the event in the first place. Its one thing to punch a woman in the face as a male, and its completely another if she cheats, withholds sex, calls you stupid like your father, ect. It just came out that one of my friends beats his daughters mother. Needless to say I dont associate with known cowards, cause thats all he is to me now.

Do you think psychological violence is equally as bad?
Charles manson was a dab hand.

I don't know, I think women are becoming more physically violent today than years past. Just look at some of the reality shows!

I think the two sexes are becoming more like each other...

Women are getting tattoos, they're settling disputes with physical violence, they've become more vulgar and rude, they drink as much as guys, they sleep around as much as guys.

Men are getting their ears pierced, body piercings, shaving their chests, wearing tight hip hugger jeans, going to tanning salons, and wearing bracelets.

Originally posted by Raivan31

Originally posted by derst1988
reply to post by Raivan31

 

Quite honestly I think no one should be using physical violence exempt of self defense. It solves nothing and only perpetuates the emotions that caused the event in the first place. Its one thing to punch a woman in the face as a male, and its completely another if she cheats, withholds sex, calls you stupid like your father, ect. It just came out that one of my friends beats his daughters mother. Needless to say I dont associate with known cowards, cause thats all he is to me now.

Do you think psychological violence is equally as bad?
Charles manson was a dab hand.

Well that depends on what you deem psychological violence. For me its anything in which touching is not involved. So kidnaping, torture (even water-boarding), ect are not psychological violence, even whilst it contains psychological violence it also contains physical.

I do not understand your Charles Mason comment fully. Last I read about Mason, it was about how he murdered and tortured people. As I said, that involves physical pain and emotional.

Now as for if some one does something because they know it will mess with someones mind, without the use of physical violence, then no I do not feel it is the same. I am of the opinion that were are in control of our perceptions, and if one chooses to dwell on something another said or did to get under their skin, then that is the personal choice of the person. In other words, You can choose to not care about another persons words or actions. You cannot however choose to not have that black eye or other bodily damages.

reply to post by derst1988


Charles Manson manipulated others into acts of physical violence.

A bruise will heal, but how long do the scars of psychological violence last?
look at social media bullies as an example.
Military groups use a combination of mind and body violence in torture for a reason..........one breaks the body the other the will.
Pedophiles commonly use mind violence to protect themselves.

reply to post by Raivan31

Charles Manson manipulated others into acts of physical violence.

Everyone is responsible for their own actions. Just because you can manipulate some one to jump off a bridge doesn't mean they didn't have a choice.

A bruise will heal, but how long do the scars of psychological violence last?

As long as you let them... it actually is a funny thing that the most long lasting psychological scars come from a physicaly violent action. My girlfriend had a ex bf who broke into her house, tied her up and proceeded to try many different fetishes. This was in highschool. I wont get into the whole story but she somehow got her hand free and him out of the house. Does she have some emotional scarring from it? Absolutely, however most of it is because he phyically abused and tried to take advantage of her.

look at social media bullies as an example.

Social media bullies? I wish that was around in my middle school days. Oh how i would've loved to be called funny names on the internet everyday, as opposed to in my face followed by getting jumped by 2-4 people (one was once a friend) on the way to the bus loop. You see, the names they called me today mean nothing, its the feelings of laying on the ground defenseless and having to "ride it out". Is it psychological pain? Yes but once again it stems from physically violent actions.

Military groups use a combination of mind and body violence in torture for a reason..........one breaks the body the other the will.

Well yes, but you are now talking about the combination of the two. I was under the impression that we were comparing them to each other not in co-operative format.

Pedophiles commonly use mind violence to protect themselves.

How so? Id be more inclined to believe they would use psychological persuasion to victimize the child, and physical when it becomes apparent force will be needed to get what they want.

Originally posted by Raivan31
no ones gonna 'win' after all

Well I beg to differ if I am honest.

You see, its really quite simple...

Anything that can haemorrhage for one week, 12 times in one year and still live just should not be trusted.



(this is meant in jest of course in case there are any feminists around that have a problem with it)

reply to post by XXXN3O


Oh you Betcha !!

reply to post by Raivan31

If I live to be a thousand years old I think I will never understand women.

The first step in understanding them, is realizing that they don't understand themselves either....which is of course, why it is so frustrating...

We guys want fun, sex, sleep, good food and drink, and to be left in peace...for the most part. (not necessarily in that order...different importance at different times)....easy to understand us.

reply to post by Raivan31


Opened up a can of worms on this one. I'm suprised this hasn't been flamed to death.

reply to post by derst1988



DERST: You seem kinda upset with what I've written. I intended no harm.
However it does illustrate my point in a way.
Your cleary still traumatised by the treatment you recieved at the hands of the bullies, I don't mean to sound like a smart a@s but I would guess that most if not all of your physical injuries are long since healed up. It's your mind that is still hurting.

Also I'm not saying that one form of violence/abuse is worse then the other, I do believe that one gets more press.
No one should ever minimalize the pain of another with comments like "Thats nothing" or "get over it" or implying that a person is being weak minded. That attitude is a form of bullying and doesn't do anybody any good.
Compassion is a better option regardless of whether you can empathise.

Originally posted by Raivan31
reply to post by derst1988

 

DERST: You seem kinda upset with what I've written. I intended no harm.
However it does illustrate my point in a way.
Your cleary still traumatised by the treatment you recieved at the hands of the bullies, I don't mean to sound like a smart a@s but I would guess that most if not all of your physical injuries are long since healed up. It's your mind that is still hurting.

Also I'm not saying that one form of violence/abuse is worse then the other, I do believe that one gets more press.
No one should ever minimalize the pain of another with comments like "Thats nothing" or "get over it" or implying that a person is being weak minded. That attitude is a form of bullying and doesn't do anybody any good.
Compassion is a better option regardless of whether you can empathise.

Im confused slightly as to where ive seemed upset. Im just speaking of opinion and experience. You asked me which is worse. I said physical, because there is no physical violence that does not cause some form of psychological pain as well. I think your mistaking a lot of physical violence as psychological, and yes the do co-exist when physical violence is used. Psychological violence is by use of words. What was the old saying? Sticks and stones...

So if ive seemed upset or affected by topic choice it is purely because you refer to a much broader form of abuse that also includes physical, hence your opinion of the effects of psychological abuse are much more broad than mine. The following quotations help explain my point.

The U.S. Department of Justice defines emotionally abusive traits as including causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner's family or friends, destruction of pets and property, forcing isolation from family, friends, or school or work.[5]

I have nothing but compassion for people, and would never tell someone "thats nothing". However, I am illustrating a point to which; that because physical violence also causes the worst psychological violence, it is the worse type of violence to commit. As for your judgement on my character, I would have you know that i dealt with these feelings and got over them in a very specific way in High-school.

Originally posted by Raivan31
I thought it would be interesting for ATSers to have a place to vent their frustrations about the opposite sex.

If I live to be a thousand years old I think I will never understand women.
One thing I have noticed is a general difference between how men and women deal with anger:
MEN: physical violence.
WOMEN: psychological violence.

I have also noticed a difference in the legal options available for each response.

What are your thoughts?
please keep this civil - no ones gonna 'win' after all

Stop viewing women as women and view them as human beings. Then they are very easy to understand. The blackness that you see with your mind when you try to understand women is your refusal to see women as they are. Because perhaps it would shatter certain aspects about your ego and your preconceived notions of women + life in general.