What does it feel like, to feel?

Let me try and make this as clear as possible.
I was diagnosed with A.S.P.D. over 8 years ago. I've never once noticed anything in my life to show me that how I felt, how I acted and/or reacted, felt, were not the way most people do.
My current partner is a psychiatrist, and over the past 3 years has attempted to show me the difference in the way she feels I process things and the way most others do.
I still cannot see any fault of my own in any of this, yet I'm told it's "not normal".

3 years has driven me to finally attempt to see the difference in how I feel to others.
How then, does it feel to care?

why do you care?


is it cause you...care?

reply to post by supergod


I ask because I have no answer for her or anyone as to why I am how I am.
Second line.

I should not have asked.

reply to post by ImAwareSC


Would you be comfortable in giving us an example of how your `disorder` manifests itself i.e. maladjustments to society. Do you have difficulty empathising with others ?

Having a psychiatrist for a partner must be a double edged sword of sorts.




Thank you ImAwareSC

Originally posted by ImAwareSC
I should not have asked.

Why not? Spock asked all the time.

Seriously though, watch some old Star Trek. I know its science fiction but it touches on Spock and his struggles with no emotions. It may help.

EDIT: My advice is just what it is, advice. In no way should you take my advice over a professionals advice. Always seek out real help first.

reply to post by ImAwareSC


This probably sounds ignorant to you but I had to look up the disorder you apparently suffer from, and I must admit I have never heard of antisocial personality disorder syndrome.

I am interested to know how you reacted in various social situations that gave rise to this diagnosis. I'm thinking the old fashioned word for this may be aloof, which is a perfectly OK way to feel.

I tried it once and feeling is way overrated by those given no choice but to be steeped in their hideously emotional lives.

It hurts

If you help someone whom is injured, is it not "care"?

You do not have to feel before you act, your actions are what is key, feelings can be of any kind - I can even feel bad when helping someone and at the same time be in a state of selfless kindness towards that person.

We can only see emotions as energies, to judge oneself is a product of thier own actions, and feelings attributed to those actions can be of a plethora of possible sensations.

When you truly escape the confines of emotion, you will realise that it is possible to make pain pleasurable and to make pleasure painful - they are frequencies and you can alter either the source of those frequencies or the reception of those frequencies - so for example, an intense pain can be offset by a counter-frequency - similar to how two brave individuals who engage in combat generally feel and inflict far less pain than cowardly or resentful individuals.

There was a time where we were far less sensitive to even physical pain - and paradoxically, it is the human extreme sensitivity to pleasure that allows for our extreme sensitivity towards pain.

Although, at this point I must digress, the system itself is what is to blame for our more accute sensitivities towards physical sensations, and additionally our reduced sensitivities to denser emotional spectrums.

If you want to care, try to live your life in service to other people in some way.

Then, you can't help but feel compassion. Hard work makes you alert and emotionally available. Then try to do everything you can to make people feel joy even if you can't feel it yourself.

There's nothing wrong with you. Doctors make up diseases for people all the time so they can have a reason to sell you drugs. Love is your way out. Love is joy and gratitude.

Originally posted by mAwareSCHow then, does it feel to care?

It feels like your are keeping in mind how another will process your actions towards them.

Originally posted by ImAwareSC
How then, does it feel to care?

I think we would definitely need examples of what you are being told is not normal behavior. People react in vastly different ways to different situations. Take the death of a loved one for example. Some would shut themselves away and cry for days, where others would seem quite ok and just want to carry on, but all would generally care about the situation.

To me, caring feels like the need to look out for and meet the needs of someone. It's difficult to not have this feeling at some point. Ask yourself what you would do if you found a newborn baby wrapped in blankets that had been left on the side of the street. If you ignored it, then there's definitely something wrong. If, however, you call for help, take it to the hospital and so forth, then guess what? You have just felt the need to care.

reply to post by ImAwareSC


There is nothing wrong with you. If it doesn't cause you any bother then there is no problem. It sounds like you should get shot of the girl though. Diagnosed, no, they stuck a label on you, don't believe it.
You are as normal as all the other unique individuals.
And caring is not all it's cracked up to be, it's over rated. Especially by girls.

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
reply to post by ImAwareSC

 

There is nothing wrong with you. If it doesn't cause you any bother then there is no problem. It sounds like you should get shot of the girl though. Diagnosed, no, they stuck a label on you, don't believe it.
You are as normal as all the other unique individuals.

.

This.

The willy-nilly handing out of diagnoses of "sociopathy" and "psychopathy" is becoming society's way of repressing the Alpha Male - you know, the people who actually get stuff done in society.

reply to post by silent thunder


Even though I've been getting bashed six ways to Sunday on the boards here tonight, I'm going to take a stab at this. Can't necessarily agree with this statement because a) we don't know how or why the OP's normal behavior precipitated a diagnosis of ASPD eight years prior and b) we don't know what he's done or how he acts that would make his partner say this to him.

OP, can you give us some more details? Everyone is unique and there's no judgement here but you asked the question which means you must genuinely want an opinion from others whether it's good, bad or indifferent, right? Also, out of curiosity, you say that your partner is a psychiatrist - are you a psychiatrist or psychologist too?

Timidgal

I have been taking Prozac since 1995 to help me not care so much.

Life is very painful for me when I am not medicated.

I get upset when I find a dead bee or butterfly.

Many times I have begged for God to take away my care for others.

About once a year I stop tking my medication so I can feel life again.

I don't want to feel so deeply about life and other people.

As far as your condition you have not given enough information for me to make even a possible guess to your question.

I will say you may be very fortunate to not care.

I've spent my life and much money and time trying to not give a damn.