Free the Gnomes

In such a free society as the Western world today, with supposedly equal rights for everyone it is horrendous that this minority ethnic group is oppressed more than any other.

Yes, I am writing about the Garden Gnome. In gardens all across the world these little fellows are oppressed by their owners. Kept in bondage by archaic laws that have no place in modern society these diminutive people are forced to toil for their overseers, building collosal monstrosities out of plants. There is no purpose to this no meaning, at the end of the day these "gardens" will not bring money to the gnomes, no food, just the realization that there will be another long day of toil tomorrow.

Only you can save the garden gnome at:

www.freethegnomes.com...
and
!Vive Gnome Libre!

XAS

All the humiliating abuse they continually endure when every dog in their neighbourhood uses them for a public toilet.

Oh of course not, thats some of the worst these mini-people are subjected to.

XAOS

Until those bastards stop stealing my underwear, I won't treat them equally!!!

Hahahahaha! What about teenagers who smach them with bats or run them over with cars? Wait, I'm one of those, oh well.

Free The Gnomes!!

XAS

Well, I've never once heard them complain. They must not be that badly treated. I think they should form a union!

*glances around*

They're watching me, I must go now.

AF1, they've been expanding to include socks as well!

Step 1: Collect Underpants (and socks)
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Profit!

And they can profit from used socks and underware?
That's absolute Genius!
I wish I knew step two, I could make a fortune.

*rubs his hands together greedily*

Step two is to add mind altering drugs to the garden, so that no one sees the invasion coming. P.S. Mind altering drugs are extracted from underpants and socks.
And then the gnomes will rule the earth...
_____________________________________________
Be Cool
K_OS

Genius!

Hey wait...I have mind altering drugs in my underpants and socks? Now I get step three! Make a new drug from underpants/sock extract!

THEN PROFIT

*once again rubs his hands together greedily and smells one of his socks*

you guys are taking, if I give you my address can you next day air me some?
Greatly Appreciated~ Magestica

It's the *QUACK*..err sorry...*QUACK* underpan... *QUACK*...ts and sock...*QUACK*...extract!*QUACK*

These Gnomes are Geunius!*QUACK*

*QUACK*They'll make a fortune...*QUACK*...on the drug...*QUACK*...mar...*QUACK*...ket!

*Quack's loudly and continues to stir a vat of boiling socks and underpants*

...err, what's your address?*QUACK*

If you'll excuse me, I think I have to lay an egg.


[Edited on 2-4-2003 by joehayner]

The Common Underwear Gnome: A small relative of the garden gnome that originated in the sixties. It is speculated that a colony of garden gnomes were living in a garden of a house where a commune of hippies were based. After consuming some of the plants in the garden they were mutated into a bunch of mini-junkies. Their need for drugs became so great that they had to result to the intake of underweardine a powerful intoxicant only found in underwear.

A splinter-group of underwear gnomes are currently engaged in a revolution to lessen the restrictions against certain types of underwear, whose consumption is illegal in many drawers. This insurection is known as The Boxer Rebellion.
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Sorry couldnt resist

XAOS

I knew I wasn't the only one!!! But I've been up for the last 72 hours straight, just for fear that they will come take my underwear again!!! All that coffee, is making me tweak.

I get it!

Yes Gaz, I knew somebody would get it.

Had too much underweardine...*groans*
I think I'm going to need to seek counseling, or a support program of some kind.

*groans* I got a hangunder *groans*