posted on May, 25 2011 @ 07:59 PM
I agree with the OP and the following is my tale. The account is true, sad, and oddly uplifting.
In august of 2009 following years of debt, 90 hr. work weeks, a faithfully unfaithful wife, and numerous presription medications designed to
stabalize anxiety, I tried to kill myself. I drove my Blazer off a 40 ft. drop at over 100 MPH with no seatbelt and no fears. I did this in the middle
of the night, with no notification, miles from the city.
I understand many of you would consider me utterly insane, and therefore non credible. That is ok. I will not say what I did wasn't selfish. But if
I were asked if I knew I would live, would I do it again...the answer is yes. What I experienced in the hours following said event was nothing short
of an awakening. I was broken, bleeding and in a fair amount of pain. But I also experienced peace like I had never before. Before I awoke upside down
somewhere in a ditch. I had the overwhelming sense of being 'home'. Very much like walking through your front door after a long time away. I cannot
muster the words that would accuratly describe this. I felt free. In a very cosmic sense.
I am not, nor have ever really been a religious individual. I have attended church, been confirmed and baptized. But the standard practice of
religion had never seemed natural. I spent much time studying religions to find one that "feels" right, but to no avail. It was not until that
august that I truly felt I understood this life. I have become more understanding of others as it is evident to me now that our purpose is to truly
learn and experience as the OP said. I believe that is why, is this time of turmoil, we as a people feel trapped. Confined to a prescribed set of
feelings that are only the tip of the iceberg. Trapped, because throughout history, we have always felt there is something more. As if we are bigger
that what our bodies allow us to be.
You do not have to agree with me. As a matter of fact, I now believe that is the point. To experience those differing opinions to every extent. For
we cannot be enlightened without knowing what that means to others. Try 'feeling' things from other's perspectives and put your own aside.
I cannot say if this is inteligent design, even if it is of our own. But I can tell you it is real. I can tell you I believe with every fiber of my
being as it is, that there is more beyond our short and seemingly pointless lives. Race, religion, politics, war, money, pain, only seem a precursor,
a birthing if you will, into a truly beautiful existence of pure true emotion and knowledge beyond our capability to understand. I have felt it in a
very real sense. While I do not suggest taking the drastic course I did, I can assure you that in the end, there is no more worry, but there is more.
So sit back, contemplate what you would like to from this life, and relax.
As a note, since this revelation, I am no longer on prescription drugs. I am no longer with my wife. I no longer experience debilitating anxiety. I
have a good job that just pays the bills. More to the point, I am happy. I feel connected to each and every person regardless of their life choices. I
still do not attend church, nor am I even concerned about such things as religion. What will be, will be. I am, in essence, at peace with myself and
my choices, as well as the choices of others. While I do not always agree with these choices, I recognize the necesity for such things.
I think that many of you who read this, at least for a moment, will look inside yourselves to find a startling revelation. That you feel it too. That
somewhere, inside the darkness, there is hope. Whether you understand it or not, it is there my brothers and sisters. Because of this we are capable
of much more than we aspire to. Believe in the unbelievable. Open your minds and hearts to something bigger than yourself. The answers are within us.
We have felt them before and will again soon enough.
Be at peace my friends, for whatever that may mean to you.