Manning up? or Femming down?

I have heard um Kay Hymowitz on a radio show and on C-SPAN talk about her book Manning Up how the rise of women has turned men into boys. And I thought she would be fair in her Analisis of the issue and maybe futre problem this might cause. But each time I have heard it is justa blame fest on men. And obviously I come from the perspective of a man. Since i am a man, Or man boy or soemthing in between a man and a adolescent if you ask Kay Hymowitz. She sounds likea feminist in a way because she tells none of the faults that young women have in this.

Oh And I think anyone interested should check out a synopisis of the book since I am against her thesis I would offer a bias if anyoneis look for a "fair and balanced" out look. (excuse for a momemt as I have to pay Bill O' Reiley copyright infringement fees)

I get what she is saying about men our age I get it and she is right in a lot of ways. But she does not look at how strong the factor is and role is that woman play in the scenario. If we look at the saying that men live and base their whole lives around getting women. Fine I don;t think thats true but fine. Woman now days don;t want to be gotten. And by gotten I mean settle down with. There are women who want one night stands and all that who just want to hook up and nothing more.

Also one of her points is that men are intimidated by how professionla women are getting. I don;t know any guys that say I am scared to talk to this woman because she is an investment brooker or a jounalism editor.

Again in my Opinion she is a little but of a feminist.

You should read Adam Carolla's book. It talks about some similar stuff. It's called in 50 years we'll all be chicks. It's a good read.

If you look at a most tv commercials lately, the guy always does something stupid while the woman rolls her eyes and solves the problem. There was a thread on here awhile ago called "the demasculinization of men" that touches this subject. Tin foil hat on, maybe tptb are deliberately dumbing down men so that they have no will to fight or solve a problem.


Deebo

Star and flag!

In my opinion it is symptomatic of both the masculine and feminine. So her bias is completely ridiculous and kind of immature in itself.

I think it is because responsibility for just about anything can be passed around and avoided so easily nowadays, and therefore a system of perpetual adolescence has occurred. We are as a culture obssessed with youth and no longer respect our elders as we used too. I think for the most part our attention spans are much shorter than our parents, something which is generally associated with children and teens.

I sound like an old man. I'm only in my 20s. I think I was born an old soul.

90% of all heros now in the movies are women..They are mens saviors...The men are trapped and crying and the woman slaps them across the face and says"Shut up, so I can figure a way for us to get out of here" It's all being done for a reason.Same as the stuff they have in gm foods that feminize men and boys...Before long we'll all have limp wrists....lol.....

I've heard of this book and its author on the radio circuit recently, and as a guy I do agree with some of her points; mainly that men these days are just big kids afraid of successful women.


I've got a supporting anecdotes of men as boys. The Wall Street investment-types are my friends; they spend their money on toys, gadgets and healthy routines (gym, facial creams, fresh produce, fancy dining). Other friends are hard charging US Marines; they spend their money on toys (trucks, boats...), gadgets, and less healthy routines. All visit bars and nightclubs looking to meet women, or look to have their ego stroked by a woman. All play video games in one capacity or another.

These men satisfy themselves by acting in feminine ways: shopping for toys and gadgets, reading celebrity gossip rags, ego stroking activities, using Facebook for narcissistic needs...

So I do believe the author has a point about men acting as boys these days. (I am in no way better than this, but I also put family, commitment, church, schooling above buying toys and playing video games - others do not).

As for men afraid of professional women - I agree with that. Not one of my friends, from varied backgrounds with different life goals, is with a professional women. Not one. And do you know why? They want to be the bread winners that call the shots in the household, they want the freedom to spend their money as they choose, they fear a professional women is out of the house working and will cheat on them, they fear being primary care givers to their own children as stay-at-home-dads.

I know guys who have divorced their wives because they were too successful. And you'd think more success means more happiness and more money to throw around - nope. It means men are threatened by their wives success and are challenged by it to the core.

Granted many of my points are generalizations, but all are based on fact from numerous different kinds of men/friends that I interact with daily.

It's sad really. And I'm sure there are many men who put family and home first, and are married to career women, but not in my cross section of the US population.

reply to post by Jason88


really you think so now with the economic climate the way it is a man is going to say you earn to much therefore I cannot be with you. And I do understand that primal nature of it that the man has to be the bread winner. but I mean that just seems odd that you would not be with a woman because she earns to much.

But I do agree with the author about the cecklist women have.

1 have to be taller then her
2 have to have same intelligance or more then her
3 have to to earn more or the same then her

Men have to have at least 2 of those factors going for them

Originally posted by American-philosopher
reply to post by Jason88

 

really you think so now with the economic climate the way it is a man is going to say you earn to much therefore I cannot be with you. And I do understand that primal nature of it that the man has to be the bread winner. but I mean that just seems odd that you would not be with a woman because she earns to much.

It doesn't actually shake out that way. It comes out more like the man has a sense of worthlessness, feelings of emasculation, dependency on the other's income to maintain current lifestyle... It seems counterintuitive, but from what I've seen, yes, men leave successful women.

Originally posted by Jason88

I've got a supporting anecdotes of men as boys. The Wall Street investment-types are my friends; they spend their money on toys, gadgets and healthy routines (gym, facial creams, fresh produce, fancy dining). Other friends are hard charging US Marines; they spend their money on toys (trucks, boats...), gadgets, and less healthy routines. All visit bars and nightclubs looking to meet women, or look to have their ego stroked by a woman. All play video games in one capacity or another.

These men satisfy themselves by acting in feminine ways: shopping for toys and gadgets, reading celebrity gossip rags, ego stroking activities, using Facebook for narcissistic needs...

I tend to agree with your assessment here, it's been my experience as well...and it would seem that the OP's comments verify s this hypothesis rather than refutes it. The OP seems to have a problem in that "women are not being held accountable" for this "manning down" trend. And my main question would be, how is the behavior of certain men, who refuse to be able to solve their own problems, and escape into the world of high tech toys and gadgets (the wall-street investment types that Jason88 talks about)...the fault of women? The fact that the OP places the blame on women for this seems to be evidence of this "dumbing down" trend of men, where they act like little boys incapable of dealing with their problems (and so they blame others) as opposed to mature adult men who are able to take personal responsibility for their own behavior.

Originally posted by Jason88
I've heard of this book and its author on the radio circuit recently, and as a guy I do agree with some of her points; mainly that men these days are just big kids afraid of successful women. ........

I've got a supporting anecdotes of men as boys. ..... All play video games in one capacity or another.

........These men satisfy themselves by acting in feminine ways: shopping for toys and gadgets, reading celebrity gossip rags, ego stroking activities, using Facebook for narcissistic needs...

So I do believe the author has a point about men acting as boys these days.

What about all the boys and men who played the video game 'Tomb Raider' and were suckered into using Lara Croft as their action avatar? Did they play with G.I. Jane toys too?

It has lot to do with us law and social systems. Go to other parts of world (third world sectors) there women wont even get past men with being teased or worst, raped.


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reply to post by meeneecat


No I am not trying to say that men don;t have aprt in the blame I guess. But what I was trying to say was the author of the book does not at all take into account the actions and behavior of young women now and how it is cultuarlly different then in years past. And again I don;t know if I believ this but I have heard this from your everyday common people that everything in amans life is taylored around getting women. Be that having material things or having money or accomplishments or whatever there is that idea out there. That men do all these things, have the fancy cars to impress women. Now I can't approve this one or another because it doesn;t have science behind or come froma philosophical stand point.

Now 10 points for whoever can tell me where this line came from "First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women"