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Originally posted by Oroborus
I'm interested because when I was young I would see them quite frequently but only in my peripheral vision it seemed. Usually running away. I also have always had a thing where I imagine violence to excite myself, usually war. And I somewhat hallucinate it on command, like I'm watching a movie in my head. It's not as often anymore but it was frequent as a child, I think that specifically stemmed from witnessing my mother being beaten frequently by my father while I was an infant.
Originally posted by Oroborus
I would like to ask if you ever experienced anything related to your condition as a child? As in, seeing shadow people ect.
Originally posted by Oroborus
I'm interested because when I was young I would see them quite frequently but only in my peripheral vision it seemed. Usually running away. I also have always had a thing where I imagine violence to excite myself, usually war. And I somewhat hallucinate it on command, like I'm watching a movie in my head. It's not as often anymore but it was frequent as a child, I think that specifically stemmed from witnessing my mother being beaten frequently by my father while I was an infant.
Originally posted by Oroborus
I've always had extremely vivid/terrifying nightmares and sleep paralysis. I was a heavy pot smoker in my teens and experimented with drugs, which now has left me with what was severe anxiety that I am learning to overcome. I found when smoking a lot of marijuana over an extended period of time would produce mild/subtle halucinations within my thoughts, like invasive images or fading voices. that all went away after quitting though.
Originally posted by Oroborus
I have bouts of depression and have been on medication for it, which eliminated my anxiety strangely but didn't help with anything else. I've always been fairly introvertive, but at the same time I can be very social with ease.
Originally posted by Oroborus
I don't quite think I'm schizophrenic, but it may be too early to say yet. I'm 21. I've talked a bit about this to my family doctor and he thinks this is all "alright". Well I haven't told him about the violence thing, I only feel comfortable talking about that anonymously.
Anyways, sorry for making this so long. But what do you think of this, in a nutshell?
Originally posted by BadPenny
Originally posted by Oroborus
I'm interested because when I was young I would see them quite frequently but only in my peripheral vision it seemed. Usually running away. I also have always had a thing where I imagine violence to excite myself, usually war. And I somewhat hallucinate it on command, like I'm watching a movie in my head. It's not as often anymore but it was frequent as a child, I think that specifically stemmed from witnessing my mother being beaten frequently by my father while I was an infant.
I apologise for intruding upon Hey Jude's thread and I hope you won't mind me asking, but, out of curiousity, following the beatings, was your Mother's behaviour any different towards you? I am wondering whether you are excited by the violence, or in anticipation of the ending of the violence, ie, was she more affectionate towards you, or did you receive a 'treat', that kind of thing, if you can remember what usually happened 'after'.
Many thanks.
Originally posted by Oroborus
I don't mind. And that is hard to say when I think about it now, I don't really think it effected how she treated me, the beating ended when I was about 3 years old when my father was taken by police so it wasn't like a very prolonged thing but it's still with me, as I was aware of what was going on and it was freightening. Back to the point though. I guess my relationship with my mother was closer, because of what happened. I was and still somewhat very defensive of her.
I was never really spoiled by her or anything though, it's hard to really think of this though now. Someone who witnessed my childhood might have a different view.
Originally posted by Oroborus
And thank you to HeyJude for answering/responding to me, appreciate it. When I do talk to my doctor about these things he just says to go back on anti-depressants and stay on them, but I really don't think it's needed.