Modern Feminist Narcissism and the Sperm Bank

reply to post by The Sword


Why should I feel guilty? Maybe if you knew their situations, you would understand more, these significant others brought it upon themselves. I am helping them gain the confidence they need to move on from their significant others I hope, they deserve better.

reply to post by TKDRL


Interesting take on things.

I've always thought that if people were unhappy, that they should move on instead of doing things that hurt their significant others.

The truth hurts but not as much as a breach of trust.

reply to post by StigShen


I do not think that calling someone narcissistic is conducive to your argument.

Anyway, another problem is people do not see the the long term ramifications of what they do, i.e. the big picture. People are so short sighted sometimes, that they do not take the time to appreciate what it is they are doing. Here is an example. Are more women entering the workplace as professionals because they want to, or because they feel that it is expected of them to do so. Social pressures motivate people to certain outcomes. Are more women refusing to live "traditional lifestyles" because they do not want to, or because the modern sense of femininity compels them to?

There was an episode of Family Guy in which Lois gets in a fight with a feminist because the feminist looks down on Lois for being a mere "housewife". I think maybe there are broad implications to that episode, if anyone remembers it.

reply to post by 2manyquestions


Star for that one. I can't say I have never had casual encounters, but it was never something I took lightly either. Though I did make a few missteps as a teen for lack of proper guidance, as my father was not in the picture.

Originally posted by StigShen

Originally posted by 2manyquestions


I am not belittling you. As I said before, you are not the only one here who's experienced failed relationships. The difference is that you let it get to you.

How is my failed relationships "getting to me" when I am holding the child of a dead stripper? I never said I was the only one has experienced a failed relationship. Yet again, for clarity maybe this time. THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME. The more you try to make this about me, the more you prove my point.

I'm not proving your point, you've proved mine. It is about you, because you're the one who holds these opinions. You had to come to these opinions somehow. You did that through your personal life experience. You holding the child of a dead stripper is a personal experience that leads you to a specific train of thoughts, especially due to your failed relationships. The dead stripper who made poor decisions is indirectly related to your experience with your ex-girlfriends, who also (according to you) made bad decisions. You've been surrounded by a string of women who didn't adhere to your moral standards, which got you thinking and helped guide you to come to your theories on the opposite sex.

You didn't choose not to get married, you chose not to get married to the women you were with, which (it sounds to me) was for the best. You also didn't choose not to have children, you chose not to have children with the women you were with.

Okay, true enough.

It's heartbreaking to be unable to have a family when clearly you wanted one. This is something that may haunt you to your death bed. The resentment you may feel toward the gender you perceive to be responsible for this fate which has been handed down to you, is difficult to deal with. Responsibility for this outcome should be assigned to both parties, not just one.

Most human beings are naturally programed to want to procreate at some point in their lives. Men exhibit the signs by wanting to sleep with everything that moves, and women exhibit the signs by having an urge to become mothers when they reach a certain age. If this wasn't so, we'd have about a fourth of the world's population right now. Very few heterosexual couples get pregnant because they chose to do so intentionally (by using their intellect to make that decision).

You're not going to run to some surrogate clinic trying to have a baby, because you are not a woman. You may continue on your invisible, natural crusade to father as many children as possible by having the urge to have sex. A woman will continue on her invisible, natural crusade to give birth to a child by feeling the urge to become a mother usually by the time she is 35-40. It's the last chance she has to produce a healthy, problem-free offspring.

I don't sleep with everything that moves because I am a mature, civilized man who takes responsibility for himself. So now you have just equated women who go to sperm banks with man-whores who take no responsibility for a trail of the women they have used and the children they have left behind scattered across the countryside.

Now as far as making an intelligent decisions about getting pregnant, you may be right. All too many pregnancies are NOT intentional. But as I have said before, woman's choice, woman's responsibility ultimately.

I said that men have a natural urge to sleep with everything that moves. This does not mean that all men WILL sleep with everything that moves. Many responsible men will restrain themselves from mating, even when the woman is enticing. Unfortunately there are also many men who will not restrain themselves, and will try to sleep with every woman who's breathing and willing. Women work the same way. They too have natural urges to mate, and like many men, many women will also use their intellect to overcome this urge until "the right one" comes along.

The unfortunate thing for women is that a baby forms inside their bodies, and not the other way around. A man feels no physical consequences to his body. He can sleep and impregnate hundreds of women without ever knowing what it's like to form a human being using his own body. It is her body the baby uses in order to grow and come to life. It takes great physical toll on her body, in some cases irreversible damage, and may potentially lead to death if complications arise. For this reason laws were developed to give the woman a choice. I believe that both parents should have say once the child is conceived, but there are many cases in which biological fathers refuse to accept responsibility for the children they fathered. A mother has few choices. She can either abort, have the baby and put it up for adoption, or keep the baby and try to make sure it will have everything it needs to grow up to be a healthy adult. Just like some men who become dead-beat fathers, some women also make poor decisions when it comes to their children. It's a sad fact of life, and it's been happening for thousands of years. Some men and women are simply not cut out to be good parents. It's not that either gender is "bad", it's that some people from both sides are going to make selfish, abhorrent decisions. This is something we all have to work on.

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by Nathwa

 

Ok personal opinion and observations. I usually do feel some sort of connection during sex, I think that is because it is kind of like meditation. You are totally in the moment, and your energies are intertwined and exchanging.

What I meant is sex is just sex, is that it is not always a relationship thing. I have a few friends with benefits now, and that is fine by me. I am not looking for a relationship right now, I can't afford one timewise or moneywise. They have boyfriends/husbands/fiances that can't take care of their needs. I can and am happy to do so.

I dont go mucking around in other people's misery. If the woman isn't single, she is off limits. You have a better chance of being murdered in some stupid love triangle than being murdered in prison.

Presently though, I do have several girlfriends myself with whom I have non-committal sexual relations.

EDIT. Isn't single. If a woman ISNT single she is off limits.

reply to post by The Sword


Ok here is the story of one of the girls, maybe it will help you see that it isn't always black and white.

I met her the first year I moved to canada. She went to the club with her best friend to celebrate her 19th birthday(that is the age up here when you are granted the priveledge to drink). I danced with her, treated her to many birthday drinks etc. She came home with me, we talked all night. Turns out that she had a really bad childhood, and at 16 ended up leaving the toxic household and living with her boyfriend. At first it was great, dream come true and all that. Over time he started working more and more. Come home too tired to do anything but go to bed. Why? Not because they were strapped for money, but because he wanted to buy more toys. Fast forward to 19, he works, and on the days off is out playing with his toys with the other boys. In my opinion he thinks he got it made, has a beautiful girlfriend that will never leave, so he don't even need to try. Dude is in for a rude awakening, while he is out buying toys, and going on trips with the boys, she has been saving up for her own apartment.

It started out as a really great friendship, but sparks flew, and it grew. At the moment, a relationship is not possible. When she is independant of the loser, and my world is stabalized, hey we might become more than friends with benefits. Stranger things have happened, and I would be honored. I know I am not ideal boyfriend material now.

Originally posted by StigShen

Presently though, I do have several girlfriends myself with whom I have non-committal sexual relations.

So, is it ok for a woman to have several boyfriends with whom she has non-committal sexual relations?

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by The Sword

 

Why should I feel guilty? Maybe if you knew their situations, you would understand more, these significant others brought it upon themselves. I am helping them gain the confidence they need to move on from their significant others I hope, they deserve better.

edit on Sun, 20 Mar 2011 16:11:03 -0500 by TKDRL because: (no reason given)

Gotta disagree with you there. If the woman is in a bad relationship, she should leave. End of story. Women need to learn how to be single for a while. And short of that, they also need to learn that the honeymoon does not last forever. If they have made a commitment to their man, they need to stick to it, or leave. Not have their cake and eat too.

reply to post by StigShen


As a follow-up to my own reply I submit this article. I do not agree with it entirely, but there is some food for thought here. Full article at link...

In her book, Stupid about Men: 10 Rules for Getting Romance Right, marriage and family therapist Deborah Dunn says that even the smartest women sometimes become stupid when making choices in their relationships with men. Here, she explains how women are addicted to romance, and why they are often tempted to believe love will conquer all. Here's 10 questions to help us all figure out the mistakes we make, and WHY we make them!

1. Why do so many otherwise reasonable women behave irrationally in their relationships with men? A: I've noticed this disturbing trend in my therapy practice, and it's an addiction to romance. Romance is a drug that prevents women from having to deal with the tougher issues in their life, like aging, finances, significant stress, problems with their children, and many other things. It's an avoidance that's very similar to how men use sex. With the rise in men's addiction to pornography and Internet sex, I've seen an equivalent rise in women's focus on and cravings for the ultimate romantic experience. We all want that to a degree, but that's not the primary goal of long-term relationships.

shine.yahoo.com...

Originally posted by Nathwa

Originally posted by StigShen

Presently though, I do have several girlfriends myself with whom I have non-committal sexual relations.

So, is it ok for a woman to have several boyfriends with whom she has non-committal sexual relations?

Yes. So long as they are mature and responsible about those relations.

reply to post by StigShen


Life is not always black and white, sometimes you have no place to go. To be honest, I hate it here most of the time, but it is all I have. I would rather be back in NY, but it is not possible. All I have for now is what I got, when business picks up, and I hope it does, I am going to start saving again. Once my partner retires(also my father), and I have enough to buy an apt back home, I am outta here. I sacrificed a lot, giving up everything I had back in NY, and coming here. He needs me, he cannot do what I do anymore, and abandoning family is wrong in my book. Who knows, I might find a good reason to stay before I can buy an apartment.

reply to post by Nathwa


Not only are women who choose to be housewives looked down on by society these days, rather than being revered the way they once were, but economic reality often dictates that women MUST work and provide a second income.

This plays a big role in domestic violence in fact. So often, people who really have no business being together in a long term relationship, will co-habitate out of economic necessity as resentment builds to the point of violence. That was pretty much how my second to last long-term relationship ended. When it became apparent to me that the only reason this woman was with me was because I had an apartment and she could not support herself. It didn't get to the point of violence in that case, though I have some other personal insights into domestic violence.

Originally posted by 2manyquestions

Originally posted by StigShen

Originally posted by 2manyquestions


I am not belittling you. As I said before, you are not the only one here who's experienced failed relationships. The difference is that you let it get to you.

How is my failed relationships "getting to me" when I am holding the child of a dead stripper? I never said I was the only one has experienced a failed relationship. Yet again, for clarity maybe this time. THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME. The more you try to make this about me, the more you prove my point.

I'm not proving your point, you've proved mine. It is about you, because you're the one who holds these opinions. You had to come to these opinions somehow. You did that through your personal life experience. You holding the child of a dead stripper is a personal experience that leads you to a specific train of thoughts, especially due to your failed relationships. The dead stripper who made poor decisions is indirectly related to your experience with your ex-girlfriends, who also (according to you) made bad decisions. You've been surrounded by a string of women who didn't adhere to your moral standards, which got you thinking and helped guide you to come to your theories on the opposite sex.

And one more time. THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME. Just because I have made some personal observations does not mean this is about me, or that I am the root cause of women making bad decisions.

Yes, I have had some bad relationships. Not all of my relationships were/are bad, I am not surrounded by bad women.

Stop projecting, it's getting lame.

Originally posted by 2manyquestions

It's heartbreaking to be unable to have a family when clearly you wanted one. This is something that may haunt you to your death bed. The resentment you may feel toward the gender you perceive to be responsible for this fate which has been handed down to you, is difficult to deal with. Responsibility for this outcome should be assigned to both parties, not just one.

I'm getting pretty sick of repeating myself. If I had a resentment toward women, I would tell you that in no uncertain terms. Do I think women should be more accountable for making poor choices? Certainly. That is not resentment, that is fact.

My resentment is toward the nefarious agenda which undermines the true power of the feminine, which undermines natural order, and which undermines the family.

Stop telling me what I think.

Originally posted by 2manyquestions


I said that men have a natural urge to sleep with everything that moves. This does not mean that all men WILL sleep with everything that moves. Many responsible men will restrain themselves from mating, even when the woman is enticing. Unfortunately there are also many men who will not restrain themselves, and will try to sleep with every woman who's breathing and willing. Women work the same way. They too have natural urges to mate, and like many men, many women will also use their intellect to overcome this urge until "the right one" comes along.

Okay, so why are you arguing with me then? A woman who chooses to go to the sperm bank and deliberately spawn a bastard child is just as self-centered and irresponsible as a man who sleeps around. No, more so. Because she knows for a fact that she is deliberately trying to get pregnant. Whereas a man who sleeps around has no such power. The man knows that there is a good chance the woman will not be ovulating, may be using her own form of birth control, and ultimately, can choose to abort the fetus. Also, a man who sleep around will wear a condom if the woman insists. Unless of course he is a rapist which is whole different discussion. Because really, women who use men for their seed are rapists too.

reply to post by TKDRL


She is using you the same way she is using that man.

reply to post by StigShen


Howso, usually using someone involves deception in my experience.

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by StigShen

 

Life is not always black and white, sometimes you have no place to go. To be honest, I hate it here most of the time, but it is all I have. I would rather be back in NY, but it is not possible. All I have for now is what I got, when business picks up, and I hope it does, I am going to start saving again. Once my partner retires(also my father), and I have enough to buy an apt back home, I am outta here. I sacrificed a lot, giving up everything I had back in NY, and coming here. He needs me, he cannot do what I do anymore, and abandoning family is wrong in my book. Who knows, I might find a good reason to stay before I can buy an apartment.

See my other post about how domestic violence often starts. I know full well that people, men and women alike, are way to financially dependent on each other. Wind up sticking with a bad thing because they have no place to go. Preaching to the choir there. I am homeless now. Homeless in NY. Not just because I don't have a steady woman of course, but there were some issues there with women that contributed to my situation now. And of course, if I decided just go shack up with some woman right now, I would have a better place to stay too, but I'm not going that route.

You are totally right about family too though. A lot of people give me guff for not leaving NY to find better opportunity. But even as bad as things are for me here right now, I still have family here that depend on me even though I can barely take care of myself at the moment. Family is still family. Something that some other people in my family seem to have forgotten as they cut loose and never looked back.

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by StigShen

 

Howso, usually using someone involves deception in my experience.

Just because you are letting her use you, doesn't mean she isn't using you. And chances are, one night soon you will get that 2 a.m. phone call to come pick her up because he punched her in the mouth, and the next thing you know you will be going at it with this guy who's GF you were screwing behind his back.