What is the right balance (with the amount of time you spend with someone)?

Its come to my attention that some people think that I'm a little clingy at times. I've had some close-situations where some people have almost gotten tired of me because of how much I've been around them. The thing is... I go to a college right now. I live in a dorm. I used to go to a community college and no one wanted to talk to other people.

Here people talk to other people all the time... but like my problem is that I would talk to the same people too much, even though like I wasn't really close friends with them yet or anything like that. Is the solution for me to balance my time evenly with all of my friends and acquaintances so I don't end up annoying any one or two people (unless these people decide to be more of a closer friend to me)? I still want to end up having close friends too, since, I enjoy having dependable friends and what not... but I think that some people might not like my style and might think I am being overbearing. So, I just want to ask for people that have lived at a dorm before-- what is the right balance? I am still trying to figure it out. I don't want to turn someone off just because I might be around them too much.

You need to plan certain events that have a beginning and an end. You meet at the pub for a few beers and go your merry way. You go to class and have lunch afterward...and on you go. If there is something going on for Friday night, you get a group together and go and let things unfold. Learn to read body language, and attitudes (look for some books on this at the library). If you pay attention, you can figure out where someones head it at.

I don't think it matters how much your around. If you feel they are pushing you away then leave and go hang with someone you don't feel that with. In a few years you're only going to take just a handful of these friendships with you when it's time to move on.

leave at the first sign of akwardness.

reply to post by TheLieWeLive


I don't think you understand. I was being really clingy before and acting like I was a close friend to someone when I didn't even know them on that level yet (like I would be around them all the time). They liked me, but, can you see how being around someone all the time like that would bother them?

reply to post by Ultraman2011


I don't like to plan things though. I like to be somewhat spontaneous. But, I see what you're saying... I should try to make my events that I part-take in have an ending so I don't like overstay my welcome or something like that.

Well that's hard to say. I think whatever works for that couple or friendship. I have a cousin who spends every minute with her boyfriend. Literally they are always together and even though others might see it as they need time apart, it works for them and they dont mind it, they prefer it that way.

As for friendships, however much time you want to spend with one another. There really isnt a right or wrong answer. =]

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Well at least now you realize what you are doing. Grow from that. Sounds like your just an open person who is immediately comfortable around people. Could be worse, you could be an Agoraphobic (scared of people and crowds.)