Behold! The Predictions of Nahum the Celestial in the Year of Nibiru 2011

Greetings to the Brothers and Sisters of Cyberia, of Magonia, of Dreamland and Area 51. Greetings to the Brothers and Sisters of Ur, Zion, Shem, and the Four Ancient Kingdoms of the World.

Behold! Here are stated forth for your edification the predictions of Nahum the Celestial, the Final Prophet of Mankind, for the Year of Changes, this 2011th Year of Nibiru.


Behold! In January, the mighty snows which obey the word of Nahum the Celestial shall grip much of the world in its icy claws, to demand attention be paid to the philosophies and predictions of Nahum the Celestial. For is it not writ in the New Book of Nahum:

"the false prophets and the skeptics and the debunkers who hath led the SOULS of man astray into witch craft, sorcery, and vile entertainments of his own MAKING and not as ORDAINED by the Annanaki."

The New Book of Nahum 1:7

Behold! In February, the freemen armed with Muskets who cometh from Boston, shall smite the furious Norsemen in the Thunderdome.

Behold! In March, the one named Benjamin, who laboreth in the Vault of Mammon, shall mount an ornithopter. And he shall escape the wrath of the mob, ye, though he fling his worthless papers upon the mob, they shall for his blood and rend him from limb to limb.

Behold! In the month of April, there shall be a great pestilence in the land. It shall smite the unbelievers and debunkers and thread movers, who mock Nahum the Celestial but shall run in TERROR for their VERY HIDES when the vimanas that accompany Niburu shall fill the skies in the Final Year of 2012.

For is it not written in the New Book of Nahum:'

In the word of the Prophet Ezekiel, who returns now with us, our crafts which are like the appearance of the wheels and their construction is like gleaming jasper, and all four wheels looked alike. Their structure is like a wheel within a wheel.

The New Book of Nahum 1:10

In the months of Summer, there shall be a Reckoning of the Hosts of Men, and they shall fall without number before the Sword of the Divine and the Righteous Wrath of Nahum the Celestial, Fifth and Final Prophet of Mankind.

In October, there shall be a great earthquake which shall shake the grounds and upheave the earth, bringing the wicked to their knees. And they shall crawl to Nahum, and beg of him to stay the furious wrath of the Mighty. And he shall laugh at them, and strike them with his mighty whip, which shall be just.

In November, there shall begin the Final War, when the Hermit King of the North assaults the castles of his brother to the south, and the Champions and Anti-Champions of Darkness and the VImanas shall crush each other until there is only darkness and wailing upon the earth!

BEHOLD! THESE ARE THE WORDS AND TESTIMONIES OF NAHUM THE CELESTIAL.

Huh????

It's gonna be a fun, fun year. I've said it for quite a while, people: Hold onto your hats because this ride is gonna get bumpy. Keep your hands and feet inside at all times.

Seriously though, learn to laugh and smile at everything that comes your way, no matter how dismal it may seem. Know that it will pass, that it must go in order to make way for the new. Let everything wash over you. Sit in peace and love.

Who is Nahum

So the Patriots are gonna win the Superbowl????
Goodsh!t

nahum???

any relation to ho hum??

any fool can see january will be very icy, just walk out your door.

I thought Monty Python had split up
but that was true comedy genius

I think, since the Mighty Nahum commands the weather, that the snows that grip the world in January would be better suited in July! A heatwave in January would certainly cause some worshiping considerations if that is what he so desires. I am not sure of Nahum's intentions. Does he require a sacrifice or alter of some sorts?

The whipping part seems a bit self-serving of Nahum, he should contact that Zeta woman Nancy and see if he can get some "Service to Others" training modules.

Am I being too Judgmental? Am I being critical of such a God-like being? It is possible, so if anything when the snows come in January is there anything other than snow that will tell us this is really the workings of such a Almighty Prophet and not just some whimsy flimsy floosey like MOTHER NATURE! LOL

Nahum probably needs a Hug, no Stars, no Flags, just a big ole hug from the Universe of Man! It does make the Universe flow better I find!

Hugs for Nahum! Hugs for Nahum! Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

You know what surprises me more than anything about this post? It's that it isn't the usual 10,000 word thesis on how horrifically I/we are going to die.... soon..... & how some unknown God is going to dispatch me/us.

There's a nasty trait peculiar to schizophrenics & bipolar manic depressives typified by massive volume of disjointed & deluded text. You've all seen them.

OPs prophecy isn't going to happen. He or she will more likely slip into the depths (again) & be rescued by some EMT & a psych nurse with a syringe. Again.

Happy New Year ATSers!!

Behold! In February, the freemen armed with Muskets who cometh from Boston, shall smite the furious Norsemen in the Thunderdome.

Is that like American football?GO FREEMEN!!!!!

edit on 11/09/2010 by SlovenlyGhost because: (no reason given)