What can i do to turn my life around!

Recently everything i know and worked in my life on has crumbled and vanished. I lost my apt / my car / my job/ my life and had to move to another state to stay with my parents (ugh) to start over. Starting over can be good yes but i find myself in a rut and completely depressed on a daily basis. I cant find a good job nor have the motivation to even look anymore. I haven't met any new friends / girls since i moved. I could use some good advice on what i can do to turn my life around re motivate to start all over again at the age of 25. Now, when i was younger i did have social anxiety disorder but during my late teens i really got over it and came out of my shell but during those years i felt trapped and suicide was on my mind alot. After getting over that i really surprised myself with my ability to meet new people and to well "get girls". Now i kinda feel like those days again starting all over just depressed with no motivation i dont know what to do anymore any constructive advice would be much appreciated. ***Mods if this isnt in the right forum feel free to move it***

reply to post by Hopefromabove


No advice here, but maybe some encouragement. That can be a tough situation. So your OP started me reflecting and trying to recall just how many times in my life I felt like I was starting over from scratch in one way or another.

And there is one thing that's proven true time & time & time again: Life keeps on giving, it really truly does. I'm amazed at how many different 'lives' & adventures I've been given. From the ashes rose the Phoenix!

You've already overcome some early social issues, so you know there's a tiger in there tiger. Suicidal is no good, but depression can sometimes piss you off after awhile and make a person get busy doing something, anything...and before you know it you've got a life again...usually better than the previous one.

Okay, I do have one suggestion that you might find silly, but I swear by it: Get a bike and RIDE. All over the place. Chases away the blues and is conducive to good thinking. I see you're in Florida(?) so the winter won't stop you. Anything to make some thing happen.

I won't wish you good luck because I can tell that you've got some good stuff in you and your prognosis is good.

Oh yeah, one more thing: Be grateful. Count the blessings you do have and name them one by one. Peace!

Dont know your age but;

Sit down and think of how you want your life to be, then work out what you have to do to make it happen, it will mean you have to change things you think and value.

The best possible way to earn a living is thru network marketing. It will enable you to live the life you want, it will give you a royalty type income. There are others who want to help you succeed. It is almost risk free and your investment will be a few hundred dollars, Life planning, personal development and training are free. The rewards are fincanical independence. Check out Neways, they are by far the best.

There's just one catch, how much rejection can you take?

hope this helps

Life is a rollercoaster.

There's no ups without downs and vice versa.

Accept the bad times, knowing they are necessary to provide a reference for the good times, again, vice versa.

For me the trick is to ride the storms and know that clouds are around to give the rain, and rain makes stuff grow. Growth has a natural cycle and takes time. Be strong, be patient, and never be afraid to talk about what gets you down with someone you trust.

Consider those who appear to have it all....are they not the same people who often take things for granted, put themselves above others and cannot find the humanity to sympathise with those who are less fortunate.

You're doing OK and your strength isn't missing but just hidden. Good luck, you'll be surprised how things may work out and you'll have the advantage of a wider perspective regarding those ups and downs.

Cheers....I'm just a U2U away....nerb

ps...Hope from inside, not hope from above. YOU already have all the ingredients.

I've started over three times in my life. Right now, you have a warm bed and a family that loves you. At 25, you may feel that everything is lost...but it is not...it's just a new beginning.

First time started over...lost my first wife and my daughter, got divorced and ugly custody battle.

Second time...remarried a beautiful and , I thought at the time, sweet woman....3 years later...ended in divorce and I moved onto a piece of property I had...and literally lived in a barn...no heat, two horse stall lights, no running water, no bath room... no furniture..just a surplus army cot, my stereo, and some books...and my wind up radio.

Third time, remarried a Yankee girl from NJ... life is good..now have a 50acre farm, livestock, a good job, and a happy home. Oh, and my daughter from my first marriage...I finally got custody of her about 10 years ago. She is in college and doing great...dean's list, scholarships... life is good.

Point is...life is a journey.Everyone..and I mean everyone has good times and bad. One of the best things I did was go to the library and get books on famous people...successful people.

Eisenhower thought his carreer was washed up and doomed to be an aide/adjutant to Gen Patton in 1938. By 1945 was Supreme commander and eventually president.

Willie nelson, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, George Jones all lost everything they had several times over...lost loves, lost homes, slept in cars, dead broke...only to make come backs.

YOU...my suggestion to you...

Write down where you want to be 5 years from now...what do you want to do?

Write down where you need to be 3 years from now to get to the 5 year goal.

Write down what you need to do this year to get to the 3 year goal..to get to the 5 year goal.

Make a list of things you need to do Jan 1, 2011...and start putting these things in place.

Read...read anything and everything, especially the things that apply to you and the lifestyle you want.

Meet people and ask questions....successful people love to talk about theirselves and their success. Ask them to lunch...and ask them to tell you their story. Listen...ask them their advice. it may be a local realtor, a local lawyer, or business person. Plus you get to network.

Get involved in the community...make contacts with successful people...civic groups, volunteer groups. You meet people, make contacts, actually help folks, and build a sennse of self esteem and satisfaction.

WORK HARD...get a job..any job, then get a part-time job, then another part time job. At several points in 1998-99-2000 I worked full time, had a job as a bread vendor weekend pull up man, did weekend pull ups for a snack company, worked at a garden center..and also picked up landscape jobs there..and cut grass. Somedays I literally worked from 3am until 6pm.

One of my friends passed me in the supermarket while I was filling loaf bread...he laughed and asked, "What are ya gonna do with all that money?" I now own a little retreat down on the coast of NC...paid for.

Learn about real estate...made good money there...buy low, sell high...take no risks that you can't afford to lose...and count on time..be patient...avoid the get rich quick schemes..thats what messed evryone up now. Take a real estate course for the info alone...

Go to a local community college...and take the free courses..yes... free... in NC, there are free courses on real estate..offered with the hopes that you will enter the field and paid for by one of the local realtor companies and work for them... Also free business courses and how to start a business/ manage a business/ free computer labs...all kinds of free stuff...USE IT.

Employ yourself...I like farming, so I moved to the country and started a farm Although I work a full time job, I sold a load of firewood today, selling 2 goats tommorow, selling a pig for Xmas this weekend, and another load of wood goes out either Thurs or Fri... What do you like to do that you can sell or make money off of?

I hope this isn't too long winded, but i know life can be a downer...especially these days. Keep looking ahead and realize that things could be far worse...you are a smart person that is down on life right now...things will get better, but only you can do it.

I have faith in you... Good Luck.

The most important thing is not to hibernate.

You have to get outside and do things, it almost doesn't matter what you do, but you need to be in an environment where you have a chance of meeting people and go about constructing a new "network"
A lot of jobs are found because of a friend of a friend or through personal recommendations and the phrase "it's not what you know it's who you know" can be very true.

Taking courses / classes, will also increase your chances of finding work and of meeting friends / girlfriends.

If you just sit at home you can guarantee that NOTHING will happen, by doing something, even if it doesn't seem to immediately be connected to your goal at least SOMETHING will happen that might lead to something else which will help you

reply to post by davespanners


While I agree with some of what you have said, I don't think the OP has trouble making friends and is probably intelligent enough to find a reasonable job so maybe there's more to his dilema than those things.

All the friends in the world and the best job to go with that is meaningless if the person involved doesn't understand or have a focus from a personal point of view untarnished by everyday opinion and expectation. To hear "it'll be alright", "don't worry" or "just have some fun" can be the most annoying thing in the world if it stops one finding the answers to the questions that reel around in one's head 24/7.

Sometimes hibernation (incubation) is necessary to reach a point in one's life that creates the base of reference so that the things in that persons life have clarity and assurance of their place in it. Without a time of divorce from everyday things, outside influence can often only provide confusion and doubt for that persons "truth".

I suppose I speak from personal experience from a time when I went into personal hibernation. I was at my wits end and utterly fed up with the shallowness of the people and the world around me, family and apparent friends included. The choice seemed simple....end it all with suicide or face the demons once and for all. Many years of trouble had led up to a turning point.

My rollercoaster was at it's lowest and all I saw was the deep, dark bowels of hell. I was in the right place for the ultimate personal mission.

Days and nights spent in bed with the curtains drawn, little or no contact with anyone and nothing but my own mind for company. Slowly and surely I began to crawl my way up those dark rocks. Insanity was very close.

To cut a long story short...It was the hardest but best thing I ever did and an acheivement that will outshine anything I will ever do since.

The momentum of my rollercoaster on it's way down had two options, crash and burn or hang on tight and ride it out. Getting off would be suicide.

Many years after the experience I was fortunate enough to read a wonderful book by an author called Peter Kingsley...."The Dark Places Of Wisdom".

Within it was a secret. A secret of ancient mystics who were healers but not in a traditional sense. They were the catalyst and carers for the incubation and hibernation of troubled souls searching for their individual meanings of reality. They would care for the persons physical needs while they each entered into a journey of the inner self. Something most modern people are too afraid of to even consider.

Source

It helped reaffirm my changes, the journey and my new outlook on life. Everything just fitted into place.

So hibernation/incubation may not be for everyone and to have help may be the best way to start, but for this life here, it was a necessity.

To fill one's world with distraction may not always be the best way to deal with or understand the big questions some of us encounter or need to face. Each to their own, but a temporary fix is never a long term solution.

Cheers.

Mate, i know how you feel. I have also been in a similar situation.

What helped me out was setting goals, even starting small, but having a reason to get out of bed, having a purpose. After you have achieved a certain small goal move onto the next one.

Once i started this i slowly became more happy each day, it is a snowball effect, each one builds on the next and gets your more motivated and inspired.

As hard as it might seem to even start and you may feel unmotivated, even if you can start small it may help!

Once you have a purpose you will be jumping out of bed in the morning, ready to take on the day.

This was my way of dealing with it but I sincerely hope it is of some help to you.

Cheers!