Do you believe in fate, soul mates, things happening for a reason?

Me?
No.

I see things as random and if your good at the game or can pretend to be good at the game then you can find women easy. Sometimes Im good, sometimes Im not and sometimes I get sick of playing.

I have found women that have truly loved me, but I cant seem to love back consistantly or thuroughly. I believe in love and like to be in that place, but honestly it is hard work and Im not sure I am cut out for it.

Some girls say they believe in things happening for a reason or true love.

After a divorce with the girl that gave me two kids, Im not sad that Im not with her, but I wish I had been unselfish enough to make things work...at least for the kids.

Its weird though, I have been a confident person my entire life. Good in sports, girls have found me attractive, in good shape for the most part, been "lucky" in terms of finances. Always been fun and able to have a good time. But over the last year all the bad "karma" has finally caught up. Lost everything. Everything being wife and kids (except some weekends) and money. Moved to a new place so the bad things are amplified and my old vices have been much more in control than before. Im making new friends and all that, had a couple hookups here and there, but because of my financial incapabilities (cant even afford my own place right now) I cant see me being with someone for any period of time or even being able to commit. Its not that I am afraid of committing. Id rather be in a healthy relationship. I just cant see it in the near future.

I hate more than anything my guilt trip that Im constantly on. I know Ive done despicable things, but I feel like Ive paid for them and I shouldnt be living in guilt. But I cant seem to get beyond that for any period of time. I want to forgive myself so maybe I can truly move on?

Dont know why I just went on with all that..maybe it helps to write things down..dont normally talk about these types of things.

Yeah I do believe in in pretty much all of the things you asked, here's why...

personally, I am convinced that there is some form of afterlife.. The reason being is my brother passed away 5 years ago in a car accident
At the time I was a complete skeptic in paranormal subjects.. A friend after alot of persuading convinced me to see a psychic medium. I chose a random one, out if my area from a telephone directory.. To cut a long story short, this lady told me things that could not have been cold read. Some of which included my brothers name, details of the accident (which at the time j didn't even know, until after the inquest) and the most startling was she told me his unborn child would be born with a birthmark In 1 of her eyes, 5 months later I found this to be true.. There were more things that were correct aswell, but to many to list..
On the subject of fate, I believe a certain part if our lives are fate but we still have own desicions to make in life. To explain that in a short paragraph, it's like if you driving from London to Moscow, there are thousands of routes you can take, and you could even change your course several times throughout your journey, you will still ultimately end up at the same destination..
As for soul mates, i think maybe yes. I have seen stories and have had friends to claim this is true, my opinion on the subject would be if it is true, then maybe that person would have had a part to play in a previous life we had on earth... I have had experiences where I've met someone and there is a strong kind of connection between both of us and haven't understood it..
Just my opinions but hope that helps your question..

open eyeballs

you should read a book called 'the end of materialism' by charles t tart. he talks about these things from a science based point of view.

reply to post by ewokdisco


I'll check that one out

I use to be iffy and bitter about those things but my soft hopeless romantic side knew deep down those were are real things and when I met my bf it made sense.

Well in my eyes and his we met by fate as I call it and it was definitely a case of things happening for a reason on both ends.

I wasn't suppose to work that day and my best friend begged me to go to work that night and it took her 20mins to convince me to go in. I went just so I can hang out with her for the night, I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. Well I met my bf within the first 15mins I was there. He too wasn't suppose to be in there, his buddies begged him to go out with them. He was sitting by himself and we just clicked and hit it off. I talked with him for 7 hrs til he and his buddies finally left. He was there at 5pm and they left at about midnight lol The time just flew by and there was a connection there I never felt before in my life. He is my soul mate and my other half, my best friend. We both joke about how we met and the circumstances. We both were against going anywhere yet our friends convinced us to go...funny how things work out. I like to think fate intervened that day for both of us. He has asked me a few times where I was the last 10 years or so of his life and I couldn't agree more.

I have never felt this way for someone ever...We click and connect on so many levels it's insane. I never thought it could be possible. He is also everything I ever wanted in a partner and then some. My friends always teased me that I had insane standards or that the qualities I wanted were a little out there, but I knew that kind of guy had to exist and well he does. I tell my bf all the time he can't be real!! I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I can be the real me with him and feel comfortable....Currently my other half is 5,125.56 miles away in Naples, Italy. He will be there for two years and normally I couldn't do a relationship like this but with him, it seems natural and I don't worry in any way. We love and trust each other. I will see him next month for the holidays and i just can't wait. I will visit him 3 more times next year and two more the year after. We have discussed our future and kids and where we want to live and it's just a wonderful feeling. I just get this silly smile when I think of him or see pics of him. It's a wonderful feeling. I use to be bitter that I could never find the right one and it seemed like no guy I dated ever understood me but my bf now does and I couldn't be more grateful to him for that. He has helped make the last year one of dreams coming true that is for sure.

So yes I believe in soul mates, fate and things happening for a reason.

Not long before I met my bf I got a Shakespeare quote as a tattoo on my arm and well it never rang truer!

"Love sought is good, but given unsought is better" ...... so true! Love is better when it's unexpected!

reply to post by Misterlondon


Thats really interesting and Ive read many different accounts of such things happening. I believe you and think the situation is pretty cool, but I dont think a belief in any of those things I mentioned are a prerequisite for a belief in an "afterlife." I cant say for certain there is one. I think I believe if you live a certain way then things may continue for you. Maybe something in the lines of if you live a good life there may be more for you, and if you dont well the end is the end and everything stops at the "grave."

Ive met people Ive had strong connections with as well. Both friends and girls. My wife used to tell me I was her soul mate and I played along. As did my second girlfriend. Even though we didnt share the same language we felt a similar connection. I have a few friends where we just click. Connections cant be denied. Im open to the idea of a soulmate and fate but as of yet, I am not convinced. No offence .

reply to post by ewokdisco


sounds interesting..thanks..ill check it out

reply to post by mblahnikluver


Sounds awesome! Im stoked for you. I hope all turns out the best!

But if you dont mind let me throw out a hypothetical. He is a man. He is human and therefore he makes mistakes. What if one night he is lonely and he goes out and he sleeps with another woman for physical needs only. Surely if he is endowed with all the great qualities you see in him other women will see the same thing and also be attracted to him. From all my experiences that is generally how it goes. The more women that are attracted to you as a man the more doors that open up to you... if you catch my drift. So anyway he calls you up a week later because it is eating at him. He confeses and is whole heartedly sorry. Now you feel he is your soulmate (again..congrats and I hope Im not crossing any boundaries and hope this absolutely does not happen ), would you forgive him? Get even? End it? Can you ever trust him again? Do you still feel he is your soulmate? Thanks for playing!

As a child of parents like you -

I will say that your guilt is well deserved. And you deserve even more for your self concern here.

All this angst on your part, for yourself, several posts, including a "hypothetical", and musings about hook ups, blame shifting over doors opening for the good looking, wishes for Soul Mates -

And your kids barely rate one full sentence.

Neither does your past "Soul Mate" who you seem to be looking for hypothetical forgiveness from. And/or to get back together with. Not sure, because she wasn't mentioned much. What seems to be more on your mind is getting a bigger place and more money to try to get more women.

You are a shallow, self centered person. Face the truth. And so? There's nothing really wrong with that as long as you don't hurt others.......

Maybe the "Hand of Fate" will step in and you'll get a bigger place to bring women and maybe even enough money to spend at high end clubs and a sportscar to pull the really hot babes. Perhaps this Mystical Entity will also step in and cloud your children's minds so they won't notice that Dad could have spent his good fortune, or even worked to do better, on getting a home for them and working to arrange to spend time with them. Hey, maybe any luck aside - the kids might overlook some shortcomings or your date with your next Soul Mate as long as you buy them something.

You're worried about your past mistakes? Re read what you wrote here and wake up to the self centered BS you're still wallowing in.

Screw over other adults with your confusion, I feel sorry for them, but they are adults.

YOUR KIDS however - did not ask for selfish jerks for parents.

You want to find something positive to move on to? Get your ass in gear and focus on your kids. Take another job for them, make things better for them, and spend time with them. Instead of self pity here - you could have sent THEM an email asking about their day. Or made some plan that was for them.

You wanna call me a harsh asshole for my comments here?

Go ahead. But my rebuttal will be: I am the child of people like you.

reply to post by Whiffer Nippets


you are absolutely right, and i feel embarassed. probably why i dont talk about it much.

reply to post by Whiffer Nippets


the fact of the matter is u nailed exactly what i want. i want a bigger place, more money to go to better places to find the best physically looking woman i can find.

i dont find fault in that part to be honest.

i also want a bigger place so i can accomodate my children properly. i also want someone i can relate to on a daily basis. the fault comes when it is at their expense...selfishness does that. selfishness finds ways to give yourself what you want over what the loved ones in your life needs. the very reason why im divorced. im glad you posted. sometimes people need that outside bitch slapping...its apparrent in my post.

its a hard thing to change when ur in such a self doubting place. i will change eventually. getting back on my feet will help dramatically.

Simply put.... Yes. Yes I do....

No real reason that I can add. Just... Personal experience and feelings if you will.

Originally posted by open_eyeballs
reply to post by mblahnikluver

 

Sounds awesome! Im stoked for you. I hope all turns out the best!

But if you dont mind let me throw out a hypothetical. He is a man. He is human and therefore he makes mistakes. What if one night he is lonely and he goes out and he sleeps with another woman for physical needs only. Surely if he is endowed with all the great qualities you see in him other women will see the same thing and also be attracted to him. From all my experiences that is generally how it goes. The more women that are attracted to you as a man the more doors that open up to you... if you catch my drift. So anyway he calls you up a week later because it is eating at him. He confeses and is whole heartedly sorry. Now you feel he is your soulmate (again..congrats and I hope Im not crossing any boundaries and hope this absolutely does not happen

), would you forgive him? Get even? End it? Can you ever trust him again? Do you still feel he is your soulmate? Thanks for playing!

Um he will not cheat, it's not in his nature. The one thing I heard from his family is how loyal he is and he has proven that more than once...Honestly I get so sick of people saying this kind of crap. There ARE men who can keep it in their pants and sex isn't what our relationship is based on. He is use to being away and he has had to reassure ME not to worry because people like you love to just assume some tramp will make him cheat. He is my soul mate and he doesn't want anyone else nor do I. He can manage without a body next to him. Sex isn't all that is in a relationship and if that is what you base your relationship on it won't last. He was married once before and his ex wife cheated on him with many different guys and he divorced her immediately. He doesn't believe in cheating and neither do I. It's the ultimate betrayal and I would never do that to him and he wouldn't either. He was worried also about me skipping out on him because of what happened with his ex but he knows that will never happen and believe me we both could have anyone we wanted but we want to be with each other. If you only knew him the way I do you would understand.

He is my soul mate and soul mates don't hurt you, if they do they aren't your soul mate


Sorry I get a little annoyed when people ask this question and just think he would cheat. My friends and others around me have learned to not bring this up It's hard enough being away from him and having people say this doesn't help but I trust him with my life and know he would never do that to me. Heck he tells me when someone hits on him and I like it, means hes still got it and well I don't mind other women checking my man out he isn't going home with them. I actually love how he rejects chicks when they hit on him, I have seen it and it makes me laugh and feel go so no I don't worry about him doing anything like this.


Cheating is unforgivable. If you let someone slide on cheating and forgive them then imo you are an idiot. If your partner cheats imo that is the ultimate betrayal and if someone who is suppose to love you does that, there is no need to continue the relationship. I would never trust that person again. You never let someone get away with cheating, ever. There is no excuse.

O _ E,

I am glad you did not take my post too harshly, as that was not my intention at all. Well, maybe a little bit

I am glad also to see that you do realize how important your children are.

I think by focusing on your kids, and thinking of them, this well help you too to avoid bad life choices.

Alot of my relatives chose booze and drugs over their children. And these people weren't skid row bums either, I come from $ actually. Which they clearly hid behind. You can't have a problem if you look good - right?

I try to be understanding because addiction is addiction. But, little kids really *don't* or can't understand - all they see is the absence and usually wind up thinking it is somehow their fault.

Don't be like this. One can just be a jerk in general too - stone cold sober. Don't do that. There IS something VERY positive you can do - LOVE your kids! Do things FOR THEM!

I mean this in a positive way, something positive that you can do.

Focus on all the angles of making life better for your kids - and I'll bet you'll meet plenty of people, friends - as well as potential partners, in the course of doing these things.

MAKE SURE that any future women you are serious with - that they DO CARE about your kids also. Another point you must realize too - you may meet a woman that you think is perfect for you in every way. But - if she does not like your kids, is in any way mean to them - you MUST put your children first. Sure, some minor bumps can be worked out - but - if a potential partner may cause any harm to your children - you MUST put yourself and your wants aside and think of your kids.

Well, anyway, I'm glad to see that I did not offend you and it appears that you have put thought into all of it, which is the path you want to keep going down.

Do that, learn from your mistakes, and you will be on the way to positive things.

Keep going!

Do you believe in fate, soul mates, things happening for a reason?

Put it this way......I never USED to believe in these things.

Originally posted by Rising Against

Do you believe in fate, soul mates, things happening for a reason?

Put it this way......I never USED to believe in these things.

and neither did I. I couldn't even begin to tell the tale as it is a very long story and SO many things came together at the right moment with such synchronicity it is unbelievable...almost a year and a half later it hasn't stopped and I'm excited for what the future might hold. I don't neccessarily like to think my actions are guided by fate, as it kind of makes me feel as though I have less free will than I thought...but hey, whatever.

I think some things happen for a reason, but not all. Some things just happen and that is life. I have always been a constant thinker. From when I was young I always tried figuring out why things happened in life and what the answers to life even were.

But I had to realize, some things happen and there is no reason for it. It's just life happening. And that was very hard for me to grasp. But its important. Bad things happen sometimes and there is no answer to why it happened and I had to learn to be okay with that.

As for fate, im not sure, im on the fence with that one. Ide like to believe some things are destined, but I mostly believe we make our own outcomes, there is no pre-plan for our lives.